Children's Books That Don't Exist -- but Should!
By LisaNewlin on March 15, 2013
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Title: Grown-Ups Throw Up Too
Synopsis: Grown-ups puke, but it isn't for the same reasons you do. When mommy drinks too much vodka and daddy drinks too much bourbon, they end up with upset tummies. You will notice this trend occur on Friday and Saturday nights. It may also be a reason you and your brother get to watch whatever you want the morning after New Years Eve.
Title: Turn that Frown Upside Down
Synopsis: How frowning all your life really won't make your face get stuck that way.
Title: The Lamest Game
Synopsis: There is no such thing as the quiet game. It's just a way to get you to be quiet. The only winner is the adult who convinces you there's a prize. Demand something fun for a prize or refuse to play.
Title: Nighttime Is the Right Time
Synopsis: What really happens after you go to sleep. Yes, it's fun and yes, you would like it.
That's all I have for now. I'm sure you all can think of other titles for children's storybooks that will never make it to publication. Feel free to share those with me, but please know I may steal them and make my fortune off your idea. At least I'm honest (about telling you I will steal; not about stealing -- I will totally steal your idea).
And now I'm going to go find some kid's dreams to crush and then steal candy from a baby, mostly because WHO GIVES CANDY TO A BABY?! Probably someone who would read these books to their kids.
Lisa Newlin Embarrassing myself so you don't have to. You're welcome. http://www.rantingseriously.com
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