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Chores: Are They War Time Demands or Peace Time Talks in Your House?

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Getting children to do their chores can be, shall we say, somewhat frustrating. I always find it hilarious when my kids clean their playroom with relative ease and even -- gasp! -- joy just because a grandma, an adult friend or a friend of theirs is helping with the task. For the most part, they do an okay job keeping things picked up, but we've had a fight -- or two -- about the subject of chores.

Kelli MW at Momma Needs a Beer wrote about her memories of the Chore Wars when she was growing up. Her recollections of how her mom made chore demands seemed vaguely familiar to me -- but I won't say whether it is my mom or myself that I am remembering.

It is the way that her dad approached the chore issue that stuck most with me. It reminds me of my dad -- and my husband -- and seeing it in words makes me wonder if there's not something brilliant to this approach.

She shares this memory:

Cleaning the bathroomDad had a list of things that needed to get done (written by my mother) and he approached each of his daughters, privately, showing us the list, and how he decided to divide up the duties. One of us did laundry, one of us cleaned the sinks & tubs, one of us did the floors, etc. The presentation was something I'll never forget, because it's something he would reiterate each rare Saturday he was "in charge".

Kelli, you do such a great job scouring the sinks & tubs -- no one gets that chrome shinier than you, so I put you in charge of that today. When you finish that, you are free to hang out with your friends.

Do you see what my dad did? He complimented me, asked me for help, then highlighted the reward: freedom! From then on, when I cleaned the sinks & tubs, I got that satisfying feeling that I was, indeed the best at that particular job. And honestly, to this day, cleaning the bathrooms is still something I kinda enjoy. Shocker, huh?

How do you handle chores in your house? Are you more like Kelli's mom or dad?

Read more from Positive Spin Cycle at Momma Needs a Beer

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SunbonnetSmart.com 2705 pts

Hey there, Jenna! Thanks for spotlighting this post and Kelli, thanks of coming up with the blog name, "Momma Needs a Beer." That's going to keep me laughing for some time. Oh, yes...and about the chores. Loved your Dad's approach. Who wouldn't feel good about themselves with that gentle, but firm hand? Thanks for sharing, Fondly, Robin

actuallymummy 8 pts

Hi Mommaneedsabeer - just tried to comment on your blog but Blogger wouldn't let me. I get that a lot. Sorry

mommaneedsabeer 8 pts

actuallymummy Blogger stinks when there's a referral link! If anyone would like to comment: http://mommaneedsabeer.blogspot.com/2011/07/positive-spin-cycle.html should work. Sorry about that! Thinking of a move to WordPress.

sassymonkey 1114 pts moderator

Oh. I liked that approach. A lot.

mommaneedsabeer 8 pts

sassymonkey It really did make a difference!

actuallymummy 8 pts

Oh what a sales guy! Must remember never to fall for that one, but to use it to my advantage as much as possible!

mommaneedsabeer 8 pts

actuallymummy Ding ding ding! My dad actually WAS sales guy for years! Owned a bike shop at one point, then was an automotive parts salesman... now? He's an RN! Manages an entire hospital in my hometown.

Conversation from Facebook

Tracee Sioux
Tracee Sioux

I am known to say, "I am not the maid!"

Tracee Sioux
Tracee Sioux

I assign them as punishment and also when they just need to be done. I also make them pick up before school and won't let them go play after school unless they have picked up.

Sandy De Jesus
Sandy De Jesus

Me, I crank up the iPod or radio and get it done, no drama involved.

Rubber Chicken Madness
Rubber Chicken Madness

I'm usually pretty matter of fact about the chores we have to accomplish. We usually draw randomly for what must be done. But when it's not done by mid afternoon, I start getting cranky :(

Kari O'Driscoll
Kari O'Driscoll

http://the-writing-life.blogspot.com/2011/09/mamas-summer-camp.html Just wrote my own post about this last week.

Shannon Moyer Szemenyei
Shannon Moyer Szemenyei

definitely not often enough! We have a 15month old so it's clean-when-you-can!