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Periodically, we will feature one of the 10 Commandments of
Co-Parenting put forth by Lynn Nelson, Public Education Director for
the Institute on Race and Poverty, at the University of Minnesota. Lynn
and her husband committed to co-parenting their son after their
divorce. Today's featured Commandment is...
Don’t punish your in-laws by keeping your kids from them after a divorce.
image courtesy of brownssbooks.com
According
to Nelson, "Your in-laws are probably as disappointed as you and your
former partner about the dissolution of your relationship. Grandparents
can be a child’s greatest cheerleaders; don’t hurt your children and
yourself by cutting off visits with them. In many cases, grandparents
also provide back-up child care; this-isn’t something any single parent
should give up willingly. "
We
don't have much more to add here except to say that like children,
grandparents can sometimes become casualties in the War Between the
Exes. Children lose so much in the wake of divorce or separation;
cherished relationships with their grandparents should not be among
those losses. In fact, as long as the grandparents don't add to the
conflict and confusion, they can be a source of much-needed comfort to
their grandchildren, their adult child, and perhaps even their former
daughter- or son-in-law.
One of the greatest gifts that Mike's parents have given me (Deesha)
is their ceaseless love, care, and friendship. For our daughters,
grandma and grandpa's house is still their third home, safe, loving,
and neutral ground, just like Mom's house and Dad's house.
You can read the rest of the 10 Commandments of Co-Parenting here.