Coffee on my Computer: Not a Book Review

I have two more books on my list, but instead, I bring you this brief  interlude.  I went into the the office one day last week to write reference letters for students.  I’m super cheerful, haven’t been there in a while and so am greeting colleagues like old friends who have been slogging away in the trenches all year.  My office is lovely with paintings from former students scattered about, two gold-fish tanks and three goldfish and a large stained glass in front of my window that I won at an auction some time back.  As I settled in at my desk and began to empty my empty in-box one of my rather “creative” colleagues snuck up to my door and scared the living bejeezus out of me.  (Great word that bejeezus).  Startled, I swung around, knocking the rather large (venti even) cup of Starbucks non-fat, half-sweet, gingerbread latte, no whipped, (Have you ever tried it this way?  Vegan Girl put me onto it and while she gets her’s with soy, this version is rather delicious.) directly into the keyboard of my MacBook Pro.  That’s right.  Coffee for everyone, half-sweet.I immediately turned the thing up-side down to watch my life-line (the coffee) drip out of my life-line (MacBook).  Creative Colleague was mortified. (He recently asked me out (even though my husband is technically his boss), and when I politely declined, he asked after my mother, as in, would she go out with him.)  I thought he was going to have a stroke so I assured him it was fine and even pretended to type on it.

Said computer is now drip dried.  When you type, it crunches, like a great potato snack, but without the fat.  The “u” no longer works.  Initially, I thought, “Who cares.  How often do I use a ‘u’ anyway?”  It turns out that one uses an “u” all the friggin time.  (In fact in this post so far I have “u”sed 34 “u’s”).  Now, I was still not panicked.  I have had previous creative exchanges with my apple products and normally I go an Apple Store and flirt a little with a genius (should I be ashamed about this? Hell, no) and low and behold, the repair is made in record time for now charge.  For instance, I have twice shattered the glass top on my iphone and poured orange juice into the cracks around the tracking pad on this same MacBook.  Each time, I have had lovely assistants at the Genius Bar.  Perhaps word has gotten out.  Maybe there’s a “Beware of this Woman” sign in the staff room.  Or maybe with the passing of Mr. Jobs, Apple is no longer as friendly a place as it once was.  Death can do that.  At any rate the still rather cute in a nerdy sort of way genius-type asks me what happened, I’m flirty, not in a stupid, wide-eyed kind of way, but rather, with a knowing grin and a wink kind of way.  He didn’t bite.  Instead, my computer would have to be sent away.  The good news?  There was a $750.00 flat fee, no matter what’s wrong with it.  Now, that’s getting close to the cost of a new computer.  And everything about this computer work, excepts for the “u”.  So Im pretty sure it just needs to be cleaned and maybe a new keyboard popped on.  I say this to my genius.  He’s not my genius.  There’s no give there at all.  He’s not even half-sweet.

So now, I’m using another computer, taking a break so to speak.  You see, I got up this morning and took the back off the Coffee Computer, thinking I might try the repair myself.  After all, those geniuses don’t look that smart. It turns out there are a lot of bits and pieces you have to get past before you get to the keyboard.  And then, assuming you get there, you have reassemble all those bits in a way that resembles how you found them, or, at least, this is what I assume.  So I made myself a coffee–skim latte no sweet.  it’s going to be a long day and i’m going to have to toughen up.