A Collect Call? From Afghanistan???

As an Air Force brat, I learned one thing well. Make a soldier laugh. Bust on him. It breaks the tension, whether they'll admit there is any or not. Here's a piece I wrote after an encounter with one of America's finest:

I’m at Staples, staring at the graphing calculators, getting horny because, you know me and calculators. A salesman breaks my concentration and says, “Can I help you?”

“Sure,” I say, without looking. The calculator I want is so expensive and sexy it’s locked to the display with a cable. This turns me on even more.

Okay, I can’t fake it anymore. Calculators give me hives. I only know one way to “find x” and it does not require a calculator.

The calculator is for my 14-year old who lost his.  I explain this to the salesman, who is a mere child himself. He seems to know these calculators pretty well, so I ask him if he’s in college. He says, “No. I’m in the military.”

Stop. Right. There. Military? He’s just a baby!

“How old are you?” [please continue reading HERE]





Amy Kehoe



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