Coming Up on Backtalk, and a Call for Submissions

That show is coming up, so stay tuned!  :)

I'd love to see the topic of step parenting/co parenting/blended families addressed. 

My husband and I decided to have only one child and last summer I blogged about our reasons ( http://autumnatoakhollow.com/archives/571 ) for that decision. 

I can only recall one time in which someone's remark about only children really bugged me.  It was a co-worker's husband who was visiting the office with their two kids.  Their youngest was still an infant and he was talking about how good a baby she was.  He admitted they were a little nervous about the prospect of having another kid, but he felt it would have been selfish of them to stop at one. 

Of course he did not realize he was standing next to a woman who had made a conscious decision to stop at one, but I was still offended.  There are many reasons why my husband and I wanted only one child, but selfishness was not one of them.

I think people tend to comment on situations or ideas they feel are unimaginable.  I look at the Gosselin family and wonder what on earth possessed them to try for more when they already had twin girls.  As for my co-worker's husband, he was probably thinking of a time in his life when being the father of one was a possibility, but once his daughter was born he couldn't imagine life without her.

To each his own, I say.

Heather Noah
Autumn At Oak Hollow
http://www.autumnatoakhollow.com

I've been thinking over a post about my kids and their school but last night I had a dilemma about dance school.  I'd love for some of you great moms to come on over and give me some advice.

Amanda at www.onlysunshine.net ( http://www.onlysunshine.net )

As the producer of the garden classrooms at the Green Schools of California Summit, Mom Lounge's  opinion of the public school system comes from hands on experience. Green schools as in garden classrooms inclusive in the green building designs have proven to lower crime within the schools and communities, increase attendance, grades, and the graduation rate! Very important as the drop out rate hovers around %45 for Los Angeles. At this point it is a major concern as there will not be enough educated professionals to sustain a major metropolis. The bottom line is that the youth root humanity, investment in the public education system will definitely pay off long term.

Sheinina West

Founder

Mom Lounge

http://www.momlounge.com 

Be sure and send us the link when you do!  We'd love to use it!

Going back to the "just one child" topic, I have had several people tell me that my son will turn out "weird" unless I provide a sibling for him.  If my son turns out weird, it will have more to do with the fact that his mommy is a little weird than the fact that he doesn't have a sibling to fight with over who gets the last box of juice in the fridge.

I've never thought to write a blog about this, but am now feeling inspired to do so.

Oh right here. Every time I don't feel well or am tired or *gasp* not drinking people ask me if I'm pregnant and ever since last year when I turned 24 my coworkers started asking when I'd start to think about having children.

Again, such a private, personal decision -- from whence all this judgment and pressure? One of the things I love most about the video I linked is that my sister (who does NOT have kids) has done a terrific job of bridging the parenting gap between women with humor. As she and I have discussed, we read some women because they are moms, some women because they aren't moms, and some women who, uh, we have no idea. Just isn't relevant to the conversation.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder ( http://www.blogher.com/member/lisa-stone )
Surfette ( http://surfette.typepad.com )

BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/politics-news ).

and talk directly to us

http://video.blogher.com

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain ( http://queenofspainblog.com/ )

Hi Kristen!  When faced with the same dilemna I only had one choice - half day kindergarten.  As a working mom, I also had few options with aftercare - there was no aftercare program available at the public school nor daycare openings in my neighborhood.  I finally found a private full-day kindergarten program with an opening for my son who had boundless energy and thoroughly enjoyed socializing with the other children and teachers.

However, I ran in to one significant frustration - my son was the only boy in a class of 20.  He was often "in trouble" as he definitely behaved differently from the girls.  Even though his teacher had a son herself, she seemed to single him out when it came to "time out".  

So, I often recommend to my fellow moms to evaluate the gender mix when looking at kindergartens too.  

All the best,

Heather (fellow mommy and friend from Bill Me Later) 

"Okay, some of you have heard me talk about how the only thing harder
than being a mother is being a woman who doesn't have children --
whether she wants kids or not -- because she will never hear the end of
it."

Oh right here. Every time I don't feel well or am tired or *gasp* not drinking people ask me if I'm pregnant and ever since last year when I turned 24 my coworkers started asking when I'd start to think about having children. 

Also I like Kristy's thoughts on how the blogosphere has made the thought of having children a little less scary. I can honestly say that because of blogging and friendships I've made through blogging, I want children. Before I started blogging? HELL NO. 

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada ( http://nopasanada.org )
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance ( http://blogher.org/topic/business-career-personal-... )

Backtalk is a great idea!

Here's a post ( http://www.svmoms.com/2008/12/wtf-frosting.html#co... ) that covers a little of my kid's elementary school (which is an amazing, amazing public school in Menlo Park that, like all of us, makes some budgetary mistakes :), and the economy:

And, here's another ( http://www.svmoms.com/2008/10/guns-and-poo-ho.html ) about my young guy's preschool teacher and her intolerance of the term "poo hole". Gosh, those teachers are just so prickly :).

Sarah

Sarah at www.juiceboxjungle.com ( http://www.juiceboxjungle.com )

That cracked me up. SLEEPING TIL TEN. What does that even FEEL like?!

Okay, some of you have heard me talk about how the only thing harder than being a mother is being a woman who doesn't have children -- whether she wants kids or not -- because she will never hear the end of it.

Ask me, why do I think this? Because two of my sibs are women and don't. One of them recently wrote, directed and acted in this (I think very funny) grass-is-always-greener short about moms who miss having just a few hours alone on a weekend. Let's just say she's listened to me bemoan the loss of alone time over the years! The kicker: Many of the women in this short are actors who happened to be knocked up or post-partum at the same time. Um, I don't know who the stuffed animal belonged to.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/021255ba07/sexy-s...

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder ( http://www.blogher.com/member/lisa-stone )
Surfette ( http://surfette.typepad.com )

BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/politics-news ).

Are always made by people who don't know they're being insensitive, right? I'm just one example. After an agonizing divorce 11 years ago, my undoing was my one year old son, who was a classic, outgoing, kiss-blowing, curly-topped, smiling cherub. "Oh, but you have to have MORE of THESE babies!" people would shriek as he held up his chubby arms to be held and offered perfect strangers a bite of his cookie. They had no idea I would never have another biological child, or why, and it was agony.

No two stories are alike, which is why it's enormously important to keep these remarks to oneself. I looked up other bloggers who have completely different takes on the same question and terrific community discussions/debates:

A Mommy Story ( http://amommystory.blogspot.com/2006/04/only-child... ): An only child herself, she's wondering whether to give her daughter a sibling
Unwellness ( http://www.unwellness.com/unwellness/2007/12/the-l... ): One biological child, an older stepchild
Poppy Mom ( http://www.poppymom.com/?p=877 ): Included for her hysterical one-liner response to "why just one?" and supporting story
Bottomline? It occurs to me that for anyone to make any external verbal judgements about the number of children a person has is obnoxious. Hey, it's HER uterus and heaven only knows what's going on in there! If you care about the person's decision, you can ask. But don't push your opinion on her -- you don't get a vote.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder ( http://www.blogher.com/member/lisa-stone )
Surfette ( http://surfette.typepad.com )

BlogHer is non-partisan but our bloggers aren't! Follow our coverage of Politics & News ( http://www.blogher.com/topic/politics-news ).

I love the concept and would love to be included in the future. I haven't written on any of the topics listed, but perhaps future editions will cover some of the areas I have blogged about. 

With regards to inspiring people to be better parents ( http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/21/inspiring... ), that is certainly my aim and so many of my readers and fellow bloggers (the other "Students of Parenting ( http://www.phdinparenting.com/students-of-parentin... )")are the ones that inspire me to continue trying to be a better blogger so that I can keep inspiring my readers.

PhD in Parenting - http://phdinparenting.com

My daughter was in all day  Kindergarten program last year and except for the fact the old school keep confusing her with another girl named Brianna (and I have wrote about that including calling me to pick up a sick Brianna, not my kid), she was much better prepared for first grade at her new school.  The new school has only half day kindergarten, which meant the rest of her class was falling asleep about halfway through the day or crashing immediately at home. 

and as for my family size, after my son was born four years ago, my MIL told me at the hospital; You have a boy, you have a girl, PLEASE STOP HAVING KIDS!

I'd be happy to chime in. (Shocking, I know.)

I'm pregnant with my first, and - right - have no idea what I'm doing. What's absolutely fascinating to me, though, is how the internet, mommyblogs, message boards, the advent of BlogHer, has impacted my experience so completely.

I can only begin to imagine what it would have been like to go through this even five years ago, let alone pre-connectivity. I shudder, really.

And while I'd be happy to wax philosophical about the ways in which I'm a far more prepared mom-to-be than I ever could have been without mommyblogging (etc.), I'm also still eager to ask "moms who know" what else I should expect, what surprised them most, and what's the one thing they wish someone had told them. :)

Thanks!

Kristen, I'm going through the exact same thing! I'd love to put my daughter in a 9-12 half-day kindergarten, but I can't pay for private school and I don't think she needs to be in our (best in the district, but still!) public kindergarten from 8-3, five days a week at the age of five, not when I'm right around the corner at home with all sorts of interesting activities and trips to offer her. I've even figured out the laws and everything on homeschooling her. Of course it would only be, "just for kindergarten."

But this is how Chris Jordan says she got started homeschooling all seven of her kids. She said for so many people, it all starts with parents saying, "It's just for kindergarten!" So.....

Lindsay -

Here's my rant about trying to decide what to do with my oldest for kindergarten next year. Our school only offers a full day and I'm not loving the idea. And since she's learned SO much this year (as you'll read - perfecting the use of the word "butthead"), I'm thinking of *gasp* taking her out. ( http://www.motherhooduncensored.net/motherhood_unc... )

And while three kids isn't necessarily a HUGE family, it's weird how once you get past 2, people think you're some sort of parenting "hero" ( http://www.motherhooduncensored.net/motherhood_unc... ) --

Kristen, Motherhood Uncensored ( http://www.motherhooduncensored.net )

I laughed so hard at your "Almost Throwdown" video that I showed it to my husband and stepdaughters and they thought it was hilarious, too! 

Everyone, check it out! ( http://blabbermouse.typepad.com/blabbermouse/2009/... )

Look forward to checking out those other mamas!

And perhaps weighing in via video. 

Hmm ... deep thoughts (do I have those?) 

Blabbermouse

www.blabbermouse.net ( http://www.blabbermouse.net )

Great timing. I just wrote about my daughter's school...um...former preschool on my blog. Check it out at:

http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com/2009/02/prescho...

That's just the latest article about her beloved preschool. Here are some other links to previous posts.

http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com/2008/12/attack-...

http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com/2008/11/my-litt...

http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com/2008/11/prescho...

Tracy

The Moxie Report. Giggles. Gaffes. Girl Talk. From television producer, writer and mom Tracy Evans. http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com ( http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com/ )

I just really wanted to stop in to say hells yes to lovin Rae. She is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! And, one of my favorite bloggy moms. EVERYONE should check her out.

I'm also a teacher who might lose her job for next year due to budget cuts. Can't think about saving or anything right now, too busy freaking out about how we'll keep the house and feed the two toddlers when I am the major breadwinner in the family. I'm praying the stimulus package helps. Praying hard and trying to keep a brave face so my children don't pick up on the stress. It isn't easy. BTW, anyone have a need to pay about 80 grand to a chick who looks great in a pair of sneakers and has the power to kill small animals and livestock when she sings in the shower? Probaby not, eh?

Anyway.... Can't wait to see the next batch of videos.

Peace,

Kelly (conversemomma)

Take pity on me here http://www.ordinaryartblog.com ( http://www.ordinaryartblog.com/ )

Thanks for the idea, Sandhill Sis!

I get really tired of people not letting their boys play with toy guns and knives. 

God made them to be wild protectors on conquest. Even if these toys aren't available, sticks and golf clubs become stand ins. Some of these boys grow up to be soldiers, policemen and firemen, our guardians. So why not teach values and morals and let them play at ridding the world of bad guys?

I wrote about this here, http://reclaimsimplicity.com/?p=174 The Felon That Didn't Go to Jail

Thanks for the opportunity.

www.reclaimsimplicity.com 

Sit Deep and Come Often!

Sandhill Sis