Backtalk
Coming Up on Backtalk: Is It Really a Vacation If You Bring the Children?
by chris

"How was your vacation?" a friend asked shortly after I returned home from our latest family trip.

"I think one day I will look back on it and remember it as fun." That was the best answer I could give.

Next week on Backtalk we are talking about the family vacation. Is it calm and serene or is it more like a Chevy Case movie?

I happen to believe that a vacation with young children is an oxymoron.

When I said this out loud my oldest son piped up, "Vacation with children is for morons?" Uh sure, that will work too.

I think back to our last family vacation. There were moments of fun for sure... spending time at the beach, eating ice cream, bicycling downhill.

But there were also moments that were stressful... like when our upstairs neighbors at the inn where we were staying kept yelling at us to stop slamming our room doors because they were trying to sleep. We weren't slamming the doors, they were just sticky and loud when closed. And I am sorry they didn't want to wake up at 7:00am on their vacation. I apologized, but really I was jealous because I bet they at least got to have sex and stay out past 9pm.

There were moments that I thought would be fun, but instead really sucked...like bike riding. I am not sure why I thought bike riding on vacation would be more enjoyable than bike riding in my everyday life. The bike paths on the side of the roads were so narrow. I felt like at any given moment one of the children would swerve out into the road and be run over.

Also, my husband and children are some sort of freak robotic mutants who approach all athletic endeavors as if it were a matter of life or death. I felt like I was on a forced death march (death cycle?) half the time.

And I didn't even mention the tantrums and bickering. Or the packing and unpacking, which generally takes more time than the entire vacation.

Luckily I am really good at repressing bad stuff. So ask me how my trip was in a couple of months and I'll be all, "Wow, it was the best trip, EVER." It is that sort of revisionist history that enables me to happily plan the next vacation. And the next.

It isn't all bad. It is just that vacationing with children is a completely different thing than vacationing alone. Expectations need to be lowered. You need to embrace the idea that most of your fun will be vicariously through your children.

Not long ago I wrote a series for BlogHer about traveling to Disney World.

Other places to read about vacationing with children. The good, the bad, the hilarious.

Moolanomy

Missives From Suburbia

7 Miles to Nowhere


Miller Mayhem

Working Moms Against Guilt

Submitted by chris (view blog) on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 7:15am
Posted In

Comments

 

Babysitters on Vacation

When I was young and we went on big long family trips to North Carolina beaches for 2 weeks - they brought two babysitters. I admit that this can definitely add to the expense of the trip but it also can relieve some of the pain caused from vacations with "the kids". We stayed in a big house so there was not the additional expense of a hotel room either. My parents still got to go out to dinner alone, take long walks on the beach, etc. I'm sure if you asked them about it today, they would say that those vacations were some of the best because it was still a "real" vacation for them even though there were 3 kids in tow.

So its definitely something to try!

Abby

www.bloggingforchocolate.com

Submitted by BloggingforChocolate on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 07:44
 

Two trips

So this spring we took the "family vacation" and did the Florida thing. And in just less than 4 weeks the gates of heaven will open and my husband and I will be going away without the children. 

Since last year our destination has been Bonnaroo, the giant music festival but for you and your significant it could be something completely different.  Here's what makes it so wonderful for us.  Grandma and Grandpa (from one side or another) take care of the kids for a few days and Mommy and Daddy camp out for four nights.  Our jobs from Thursday afternoon until Monday morning are as follows: Eat, Sleep, drink and listen to music, comedians, watch movies, take classes or just plain people watch. There are no cars to drive, no meals to cook, and no noses to wipe. 

So if you see a 40 (ish) year old red head walking around with a big smile on her face say hi!  I'm not stoned, I'm just off duty.  

 

Kate

I blog at aftercancernowwhat.com 

Submitted by aftercancer on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 09:35
 

We've been very lucky

We've been lucky with vacations with the kids. My brother got married in Prague, and we all went. I was 5 weeks short of my due date with my son, and my daughter was 4. If a 13 hour plane ride where someone runs off with your stroller when you land isn't fun, I dunno what is.

Since my parents were there as well, my husband and I had romantic evenings in Prague, and so did my parents. And my daughter always had someone to nap with. The trip was beautiful, and I would love to go back, with or without the kids.

We even took both of our kids on our honeymoon. Had a fantastic time. Rented a beach house with a kitchen/2 bedrooms.

While that was certainly unconventional (much like waiting til your kids are 9 months and 4 to get married), I wouldn't trade those sweet memories for anything.

And I've personally found that when we vacation WITH the kids, we see and do more neat things that are specific to the area. We do the National Parks' Junior Ranger programs and learn about the area w/o paying a guide, we fish, we look for butterflies/flowers/toy shops.

When it's just my husband and I, we eat, shop and, well, you know.  While that's fantastic, and those trips are necessary, it's the family camping and road trips that I'm going to miss someday, when my husband and I have all the time in the world for eating, shopping, and well, you know.

Submitted by Leighbra on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 14:41
 

Vacations with kids are not really vacations

I believe vacations with children are not really vacations. Sometimes you have the perk of someone to clean up after you, which is great. But a whole family crammed into a small space, kids out of routine, and long days can make for not a lot of fun. I like the good memories, but I definitely feel like I need another vacation when I arrive home. 

~ Amber

www.strocel.com

Submitted by AmberS on Fri, 05/15/2009 - 18:53
 

Same job,

different location, I say. The only place where I actually get a break is going to my parents' house. There are extra adult eyes, a basement for the kids to retreat to, someone else planning most of the meals, play dates with MY friends and wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Submitted by Headless Mom on Sat, 05/16/2009 - 22:26
 

Better with age

I waited until the kids were teens before we traveled together.  My daughter is not a good traveller and we had one really really bad trip together years ago.  Now that she's an adult, she is a delightful companion.

 We're all headed to SF in three weeks but as they are both adults now, they get their own room and can do their own thing much of the time and we can do ours.  

Submitted by thetarotlady on Sun, 05/17/2009 - 06:24
 

Vacation or Very Long Car Trip with a Pack of
Strange Lunatics?

It's true. Once you have kids, vacations change. No more late night, wine-fueled, romance-filled evenings in bed and breakfasts by the sea. No siree! You trade wine for whines. And bed and breakfasts for Motel 6's with heated pools filled with other haggard parents who won't complain about slamming doors, early morning tantrums, and loud episodes of Spongebob (lest you complain about them too). But hey, that's what you sign up for when you have kids. Didn't you read the fine print? You want a romantic getaway? Call the in-laws to watch the kids. Unless you're like me. The in-laws live too far away. And I feel too guilty leaving my kid behind for a weekend. Looks like it's Disneyland and Seaworld until she leaves for college in about...11 YEARS!

toni www.mammakaze.com

Submitted by Mammakaze on Mon, 05/18/2009 - 10:29