Coming Out of the Dark

Most who read my blog http://graceunending.net know that I have been walking through a very long and hard season for about 16 months now. It started with my oldest daughter unexpectedly walking out on our family at the beginning of last year, and from there one crisis after another hit us, literally every 2-3 months. It seemed as though we'd just start to get up from the last blow when we'd be hit again. Each crisis involved our daughter and consequences of poor choices that she had made. Each of those consequences had painful affects on our family, devastating us each and every time. Many months into this hard season, I found myself sinking into depression. I felt as though I'd fallen into a dark pit and couldn't find my way out. I lived this way for months until finally going to see my doctor, who lovingly listened and suggested a mild antidepressant. It took four weeks before we found the dosage that worked for me. It was just this past weekend when I realized that something was different. I was singing along to the radio, which is something I hadn't done in ages, and my husband even caught me dancing at one point! I was a bit apprehensive at first, wondering if it was just a fluke and wondering if I'd feel that same dark heaviness the next day. I didn't. It's as if I had been wandering through a dark forest, unable to find my way, when God opened up the clouds and allowed a ray of sunshine to come through, allowing me to find my way once again. Sure, the sadness over this difficult season isn't gone, but I now feel as though I can cope, and I don't feel like the weight of it all is crushing me. I'm so thankful to God for allowing this medication to work, and for once again giving me joy in my days.

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