I Don't Need To Explain Why I'm Dating A Woman
By nomas616 on April 25, 2013
Featured Member Post
A few years ago, I accidentally bumped into a copy of a Parenting magazine in a dentist office. I don't have children so this is not my literature, but still I opened it. To my surprise, I found this amazing article about a lesbian couple raising a family. The article talks about how they have to constantly explain the fact that they are a gay family, which the author refers to as "Explaining of the Situation", (EOTS).
Image: Dominic Alves via Flickr
I walked away from it a little hopeful that maybe one day every story would be as successful as the story told in the article. The thing that resonated the most was the EOTS part. As a woman who came out as bisexual (and that is still being debated since I don't think the label fits me well) pretty late in life, I hate having to answer people's questions about my sexuality and how and when this "happened". Sometimes I don't even have answers to some questions, like Did I always know? or Was I just a lesbian in the closet all this time? I have no idea.
It is becoming harder, instead of easier, for me to come out to people who met me as "straight" (in quotations because... was I ever really straight?). Among them are family and friends whose image of me is still my old religious self. Sometimes, I find myself avoiding people while I am with my girlfriend just because I don't want to deal with the EOTS. Other times, I wish everyone just knew, without me having to tell them.
I think deep inside, I don't want to "disappoint" people, especially older people, who think of me as this strong, hard working immigrant who is making it alone in America. I fear my sexual preference will make them look down on me, after years of having a good image of me. I have yet to hear one person be happy about the fact that I date women now.
However, I am aware that the only way we will ever achieve acceptance is by coming out. Whether I like or not, I must suffer the discomfort of having to explain myself to people I don't really care about. It's the least I can do to pave the path ahead for the future generations, as a thankful offering to past generations who paved the way for me with their blood.
More Like This
Recent Posts by nomas616
Most Popular on BlogHer
Most Popular on GLBT
Recent Comments on GLBT