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I'm a writer, photographer and author living in the Houston area. You can see my work at Chookooloonks.And you can buy my book, The Beauty of Differe...
 
 
 
 

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Competitive sports for your kids: are you a fan?

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When I was a child, my parents were very strict about extra-curricular activities.  Anything music-related was generally encouraged, but sports were looked down upon.  "You're in school to learn," sniffed my father.  "You're not going to be a famous athlete.  Sports are a waste of time."

Luckily for all of us, I had absolutely no interest in sports.  I hated the feeling of losing: of working so hard, and panting and sweating and aching only to result in my coming in anything but first.  So I focused on academics as my parents desired, and took piano lessons and guitar lessons and ballet lessons -- and when my dad thought I was "doing to much," ballet was the first to go.

Now, as an adult, I really regret not being more athletic in my youth.  I do believe that athletics teach you things like leadership and teamwork and persistence; but frankly, I think you can learn (and I did learn) those things in other areas of academics - like, for instance, academic organizations and competitions.  The primary reason I regret not being more active is because I continue to hate exercise.  And now, in my 40's, not exercising is really not an option.

And so, with my daughter Alex, I decided that while I'll still encourage her to focus on academics as much as my West Indian parents did, I also want her to focus on athletics -- but only as a catalyst for her developing a love of exercise.  My daughter loves dance and movement, so she takes ballet (as I did), but she also does gymnastics.  

Our neighbourhood gymnasium where she takes gymnastics lessons is (quite seredipitously) generally considered one of the best in our city (rumor has it that Mary Lou Retton's kids take gymnastics here), and in truth, Alex does love it.  She can't get enough of walking on the balance beam, doing assisted hand stands, and swinging on the uneven bars.  And at almost-5-years-old, her "meets" are pretty innocuous:  all participants receive medals and trophies, and everyone leaves feeling like a winner.  It's all good.

Still, as I sit at her practices waiting for her to finish her lesson, I can't help but glance over to the area where the serious gymnasts are practicing.  They're so young, and they practice for so many hours a day.  If one of the girls slips or falls or otherwise messes up, the coaches are more likely to scream at her than give her an encouraging word.  And honestly? I cringe at the thought of someone screaming at my child like that.

So I've resolved that Alex will remain in gymnastics as long as she enjoys it.  If she wants to go on to seriously compete, then of course I'll support her in any way I can.  But if she decides it's no longer fun, then we'll find some other athletic activity that she enjoys -- all the while ensuring that she never stops learning the lessons of leadership and teamwork and persistence in other areas of her life.  In this way, I hope she learns exercise is important -- but it isn't everything.

What do you think?  Do you agree, or disagree?  Since I'm such a neophyte when it comes to exercise (and parenting, for that matter), I'd love to hear your views.

Karen Walrond is a writer and photographer living in Houston, Texas.  You can see more of her work at Chookooloonks.

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MITMommy 5 pts

While sports for the children are essential to me, I think it is critical to make it fun.  I do recall far too many friends in high school already going through knee surgeries.  Anyone who was any good had fluid removed.  I am glad I was not THAT good, but am very pleased a few key people encouraged me at the right moments to become moderately athletic. 

Honestly, you miss out on a lot of life if you can't keep up, especially as we get older.

MIT Mommy

my4buffaloes 5 pts

I never did sports as a child, even though I wanted to.  My parents would not let me play sports because I was a girl.  I do not feel this way and with my husband being very athletic, our kids are all involved in sports.  We let them pick and choose what they want to do.  My oldest does a different sport each season.  My second child is in gymnastics and has been for 5 years.  She competes and loves it.  Her gym though, does not yell at the girls.  Sometimes I think that if she really ever wanted to go anywhere with it, we would have to switch gyms, but then I hear stories about the coaches yelling at the girls and holding the girls in splits until they cry.  I don't want to do that and I don't want my daughter going through that.  So we stay at the nice place.  If she ever wants to stop we will, if she wants to keep going we will.  But we want the kids being active and involved all through their childhood.

Karen Walrond 5 pts

... trust me, I'll be watching this gymnastics stuff VERY CLOSELY.

 Thanks for your comment! :)

NYCMom 5 pts

I think sports are as important as music, art or any other extracurricular, if that is where the child's passion is. I was a high school athlete and I was worried what my reaction would have been if my kids weren't athletic or disinterested. Luckily, they were.

But I do worry about sports like gymnastics beyond the "kid" level that your daughter is doing.  There seems to  be such an emphasis on weight and physique.

http://nycmomandmore.blogspot.com 

wksocmom 5 pts

I was raised a bit like you, my dad said exercise was important, but academics way more so and they hated professional sports.  I sucked at sports and now do hate exercise, but I'm glad I've somehow landed in an athletic family.  My husband is a soccer coach and the kids just love running around.  I think team sports can be great, for keeping in shape, social life and just to "fit in."  My husband moved lots and lots and joining a soccer team made him instant friends.

 Sticking to soccer here, but the Brazilians seem to get it right.  They don't even join teams until at least 12, sticking to pickup soccer, never worrying about the score, and certainly never treating the opposing team as the enemy, which is words I've heard from parents of kids.  In our house when they stop having fun they stop playing.  I want to expose them to lots of sports (hilarious to see them "hit" tennis balls).  Unfortunately, you can't just send your kids off to a park to play, but we try to do mimic that.  I love that my son cheers just as much when he takes a shot and misses as when he scores, and he still hugs his teammates when they score (he's 6). 

I agree about parents - no yelling, no coaching from sidelines, just pure encouragement.   

Nicole/wksocmom Not Just A Working Mom ( http://www.notjustaworkingmom.blogspot.com ) Silicon Valley Moms ( http://www.svmoms.com )

laels_mom 5 pts

Lael has been involved with sports since she was 3.  She has played soccer, basketball, gymnastics, ballet, tap and cheerleading.  It sounds like a lot but that's because I want her to find what SHE likes.  Right now she LOVES gymnastics.  Until last Saturday she couldn't do a proper back roll on the mat and seeing her face light up when she finally "got it" was so worth it.  She also just started cheerleading and for now those are her two physical activities. 

 If she likes it I will continue to keep her in them.  Let Alex do what she can handle.  I know my daughter is tough but she can't stand being yelled at.  I don't know that any child should be yelled at in ANY sport.  She talked about doing swimming lessons and maybe softball in the spring and summer.  We'll see how it goes!

 Good Luck!

( http://www.mylivesignature.com/ )

mochadad 5 pts

Competitive sports are good for kids. Parents must be mindful that we keep things fun and not place too much pressure on the kids to perform. I've coached sports for kids and it drives me crazy when the parents yell at the kids and berate them after they make a mistake.

Mocha Dad

www.mochadad.com ( http://www.mochadad.com/ )