If You're So Unhappy Being a Mom, Why Should I Be One?
By MaybeBabyMaybeNotLiz on October 02, 2012
Featured Member Post
These are just the ones who happened to have stumbled onto the site by Googling something like “I don’t like being a mom” -- who knows how many others are out there, feeling the same way, but without even the time to Google, or feeling too guilty to actually type the words!
It’s in our nature to try and classify these women in some way, find some common denominator that can be blamed for their stark unhappiness. But read through just a few pages and you’ll find yourself unable to put your finger on it. Many seem to be quite young, with several kids before 30, but there are others who waited until their mid- or late thirties. Quite a few are either divorced or have remarkably unhelpful husbands, but some have great relationships with the dad -- or at least had one before the baby. Some are stay-at-home moms who miss the rewards of 8-5 office work, but others are the primary breadwinner or at least have jobs they love. A few have serious financial constraints, while there are others for whom money is no object. Some pregnancies were unintentional (the result of birth control failure or being strong-armed by a partner or family), but others had always dreamed of being a mother and were downright shocked to find how miserable it made them.
So what’s the common denominator here? The predictor of parenthood happiness? Because it seems like you can have a fabulous partner, all the money in the world, a rewarding career, a true desire to have a child, and you might still hate being a mom! Maybe it’s this “mommy gene” that’s been making headlines lately -- maybe that’s the one true predictive measure. But until that becomes something we can screen for, how are Fence-Sitters ever going to feel good about taking the leap when we can see how terrifically unhappy it might make us, even with all our ducks in a row?
I suppose this is where someone says something like, “There are no guarantees in life.” But these are the same sorts of people who also say, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” If you’re truly happy with your life right now, should you really risk trading it in? Maybe you’d be even happier…but maybe you’d find yourself with carpal tunnel from typing all your manifestos on the Confessions site. Is it worth the gamble?
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