Confessions of a Former Dating Loser
By HomeIsWhereYourMomIs on September 25, 2012
I met my husband three years ago on Match.com. Many times when I tell people that they get this shocked look on their face as if to say "What were you thinking by dating on-line????" Well to be honest, it wasn't my idea.
I was a 10+ year Realtor who was suddenly faced with limited commissions when the housing bubble burst. I had a client who wanted me to list the house I had helped her purchase five years earlier because she had gotten engaged. I met with her and we talked about the house and our lives. She said she had gotten tired of the single life and her teenage daughter talked her into going on Match.com. I just giggled and thought to myself "I may be a total dating loser, but I could never do that."
I'm serious, I was a LOSER. If there was another loser within a five mile vicinity, I was completely enamoured with him.
After she realized I was still painfully single since the last time we had talked (FIVE YEARS EARLIER) she said "I won't give you my house listing unless you promise to go on Match." I got nervous. What if someone I knew were to see me on a dating site? Would my loser dating status just be confirmed? Would it be embarrassing? What kind of guy would sign up for online dating? A serial killer? Someone already married?
Then reality kicked in. I started thinking of the fact that my mortgage and car payments were coming up and how desperately I needed the commission. I reluctantly agreed.
I put my profile together and realized that it was sort of like writing about myself as if I were going into a catalog. Interests? I like camping, triathlons, anything outdoorsy but I'm still girly-girl enough to enjoy getting a mani/pedi on occasion. Smokers? Nope – not interested. I did want someone who went to church but not someone who was going to make me feel horrible about a cuss-word slip up or a glass of wine..or two. I was also very serious about my political views (but won't post them here!) but I knew we definitely needed to agree on politics.
For about three weeks I received messages from some of the most interesting people I've ever come across. (One guy actually sent me a picture of himself dressed as Abe Lincoln ….and another wearing a Medieval helmet with horns. One guy sent me pictures of his house. One sent pictures of his pit-bulls. One sent a picture of himself from what appeared to be 1985, leaning against a Trans Am, looking like Tom Selleck with the thick mustache. But at least I didn’t receive a message like another friend of mine who I later found out was also on Match – her potential suitor immediately wanted to know her weight because he needed to ensure that she wouldn’t put them over the weight limit on his motorcycle if they were to get together. Nice. That one was definitely a keeper…said no one.)
Just when I thought I was destined to be forever single, the picture of the one that would steal my heart popped onto my computer screen...and the rest is history. I sent him a “wink” which is sort of a computer cat-call. He responded within a few hours with a long e-mail, to which I promptly replied. We began e-mailing each other several times a day and then within a week moved up to phone calls before deciding to meet in person.
We decided to meet up at a park where we could be out in public but we could talk and see if there was any chemistry. If we didn’t like each other we wouldn’t be stuck sitting through a very uncomfortable dinner. Meeting at the park was perfect because I had just gotten out of a cast after breaking my foot but was still scheduled to participate in a triathlon three weeks later.
When I pulled into the park, I saw that there were two vehicles matching what he said he drove. Both drivers got out at the same time: one was in good shape, had a great smile and was dressed in black, and the other guy was wearing a dirty t-shirt and cutoff blue jeans, and looked like the only exercise he got was lifting twelve Budweisers a day. I remember saying a little prayer that the fit one was my guy…and thankfully he was.
We thought we were going to only walk about 2 miles that afternoon since my foot was still healing but when I turned on my iPhone and checked out my pedometer, I realized we had walked 7 miles. As I got in my car to go home I called my mom. I told her I knew this one was “the one” and we would be married within six months. Little did I know…
A mere four weeks later we were engaged and eight more weeks later we were married. We will celebrate our third anniversary this week.
Some people might think it was crazy of us to get married after only knowing each other for only 12 weeks, but somehow we both just knew we were a match made in heaven.
Finding the love of my life at an online dating website is something that I never could have imagined. I used to think online dating was for the most desperate daters and although I easily fell into that category, I was completely in denial. Why do online dating sites have such a bad reputation? It’s really isn’t much different than being set up on a blind date through friends. People realize you have something in common so they set you up and you meet. Sometimes it works out – my parents met on a blind date and just celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary. Sometimes it doesn’t work out…but even then you at least gave it a shot.
Who knows? You may end up meeting your perfect match and living in your own love story.
And every love story is unique and amazing. Ours is just my favorite.
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By Deb Rox