I totally feel the same way and mostly feel our NEED for being Suzy Homemaker comes from the media: celebrities who seemingly have it all- the career, the children, the perfect body, the perfect wardrobe (never mind the fact that they have all the money they could dream of for help with those things), etc. even though I know we don't see the whole picture, tv shows who depict not-so-true versions of mommies, and even the blog world where I think a lot of us see only a part of a person- perhaps the best parts, and fail to realize that they are probably not always looking like their pretty pictures they have posted. They're probably sitting on their computers in their pajamas with spit-up on them just as we are. I wrote a post a while ago about how we all-too-often compare ourselves HERE. 

Great post! I htink it's definitely something that needs to be discusssed among all of us!

www.sprinkles.wordpress.com

Thank you, Mamastoff. That's a great point about the media perpetuating the myth too.

What's this about sitting around in pjs with spit-up on them? Hey, did you just look in my window? ;)

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

Oh gosh I totally understand! Funny too, I just read a column by a writer in Orange County who was talking about the 'perfect' parents and then how one day a 'perfect parent' came up to her in tears and asked how she did it all!

I think it is in a woman's/mother's genes to want to make the appearance that we can. 

I went through the same thing and actually stopped taking extra jobs. I'm spending more time with my kids, going to the park, to the library, things I always did but right now that is my focus. I needed a break, like you. And it has done me a tremendous amount of good. I am still working but only what I can handle, and I'm learning to say no! And when I begin to feel stressed out I realize that I'm overtaxing myself and I stop, take a deep breath, and reconfigure my schedule.

Enjoy that vacation!! You deserve it. Put down the computer and focus on the family and you'll be glad in the long run that you did.  

In 2005 I had a stroke and then in 2006 my youngest was diagnosed with cancer.  Trust me when I say that being the everything mom fell way to the sidelines.  

 Whenever I talk to a newly diagnosed parent, i tell them that the way they used to do everything changes and your perception of what's important transforms right along with it. Scrub the bathroom or take the time to push the kids in the swing?  No question...and the bathroom may REALLY need to be cleaned, it will never be as important...and SHOULDN'T be....as my time with my children.  

 There will always be laundry to be done, dishes to wash, people who want or need our attention, projects to complete...but we do have to take advantage of the limited gifts we have...we can never get back the time that passes.  I so do not have it all together, but I stopped worrying about people judging me because of it.  I wish I was more organized, a better cook and that I could have a house party at a moment's notice...but what I do have is far more important.

Anissa Mayhew

www.hope4peyton.org 

www.onevoiceproject.ning.com

Kathy333 - Good for you for admitting to yourself when you needed to cut back and actually following through. I'm still working at that myself. 

Thank you. I will enjoy my vacation for sure. :) 

Anissa - I'm so sorry. That's one wakeup call no one ever wants to get, but we can all learn such a valuable lesson from you. Thank you for sharing. BTW, I love your new avatar. 

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

All I can say is, hang in there!

 I dont even have children, and I'm struggling to balance making time for myself, my job, and my husband,  my dogs - in no particular order! :)

Only thing I can say is that if you have something that you need to do, like writing, it actually is not negotiable.  If you try to smother that part of you, it will come out badly in some other part of your life as resentment.  Of course that does not mean you have to accept all oppertunities to write that come forward - not possible.  But any creative work demands that you be - for want of a better word - selfish.  Which is not easy. 

Your post made me cry.

My mom had a stroke in December. After going through the recovery, therapy, and everything else associated with the stroke we began looking at our lives and how quickly they really go by. It's so important to understand that each and every day is just a gift, and the things that we think are important sometimes (dishes, laundry, clean carpets) really aren't. I always remember Erma Bombeck's writings about if she had her life to live over. 

I'm sorry about your daughter's diagnosis. As a mother of two young girls it just tears me a part to think of what it would be like for something like this. My thoughts are with you. Peyton is beautiful!

BTDT and actually, I still find myself there occasionally. I find it very hard not to strive to be perfect and the more I try, the more I fail. Then I try harder and fail harder. It's a vicious cycle.

I stopped my custom design business for that very reason ... I was stretched too thin and my family life was beginning to suffer. But I still needed some creative outlet. I'm hoping my blog fills this void. So far, it has and I figure as long as I enjoy it and it doesn't become "work", I'll continue with it.

Anissa, I'm so sorry. I simply cannot imagine the heart ache.

Andrea

The Creative Junkie

http://www.thecreativejunkie.com

I don't know where this pressure comes from. It wasn't easy when I worked outside the home, either. When I first quit my job, I thought I needed to do it all. I got up every morning and cooked breakfast for my family. I washed and ironed my husband's button-down shirts. Oh, and I was trying to take care of a newborn, too. I eventually just threw my hands in the air and surrendered. I am not a perfect housekeeper, I hate ironing and my husband and teenage sons are perfectly capable of making their own breakfasts. 

Mary, mom to three

http://confessionsofacraftaddict.com