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I had no qualms about ditching my Facebook account a few years ago when they started banning breastfeeding photos and verrrrrry reluctantly returned last year for Cool Mom Picks and Mominatrix.
It's still so weird, and often times very hard to explain, that social media platforms are now job requirements.
Indeed, I've had my fair share of issues with Facebook, not just due to my husband's whole friending debacle, but also that it's like a big incestuous pool of your entire life for everyone to swim around in.
Babysitters, mothers-in-law, your ex-boyfriend from college that you gave one too many blow jobs to all in one virtual place, reading about all your business at liberty. I realize that I make my living on the Internet, often times sharing very personal information, but it's actually pretty well edited, especially compared to the often uncomfortable Facebook sharing of every single morsel of every single day including location, save where your took my last shit.
It's a little disturbing.
Besides, isn't that what Twitter is for?
Now when I hopped back on the Facebook bandwagon, I did the whole "search for everyone I ever knew in my life" rite of passage when I rejoined, which is always a fun time-killer, especially when you get to see how all those assholes in high school and college did not age so gracefully.
And it can be pretty cool to connect with people that you would have otherwise never seen or talked to again.
But then you get down to the whole friending thing, which is more like "acquaintancing" or "notBibicallyknowing" or "formerlyBibicallyknowing."
Whatever. It's confusing.
Now I could really care less if someone friends me or not. Maybe it's because Facebook is work for me, or because I don't give it that much weight in the long scheme of my life, but I just don't care.
If someone pings me to friend them and I know who they are or we happen to have some mutual friends, then I'll probably reciprocate.
Sure, it can be a little awkward when a friend's husband or people that I think I know but I'm not sure how I know them requests to friend me, but then I just let them sit in my inbox until I decide what the heck to do.
Are my other friends friends with them? Are these potential friends' mutual friends interacting with them? Can I really waste this much time deciding whether to be friends with someone on the internet?
Can I use the word "friend" any more times in a sentence?
Of course, it always depends on how they use Facebook, which you won't actually know until you friend them.
Do they just update cute little anecdotes about their kids, interesting links, funny photos, that sort of thing? Or are they the type to update every 14 seconds, tag you in GOD AWFUL pictures from 1994, or, worst of all, send you "gifts" or as I call them "gifts that are so not gifts and shall therefore be deleted?"
And then, do I really want them to know any more of my business?
So, friend me or not, I'll live.
Too bad that's not always the case with everyone else.
Facebook blocking is now being used to spite and backstab. "Oh please, please! Don't take away my access to your interesting updates about your garden!"
Whether it's because you refuse to friend them or you did something to piss them off in real life, the way to really get people back apparently is to block them on Facebook.
I much prefer the old awkward avoidance myself.
And apparently if you don't wish to friend them on Facebook (which I have actually done, especially with certain family members), then they take this as an offense of epic proportions.
It's this whole "I know you, or I knew you once, or I know people who know you sort of and so you must give me access to your business, damnit!" that's a little confusing.
Shit people, that's why I write a blog.
What's your Facebook etiquette policy?
Kristen Chase
Blogger, Motherhood Uncensored. Author, The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex. Publisher, Cool Mom Picks
