Confusing the Neighbourhood
By workingberlinmum on June 05, 2011
A very dirty Milo as he was delivered back to me this afternoon!
Over the last couple of years I have noticed that Milo's father's and mine's 'relationship' as in co-parenting doesn't just confuse us (thankfully that's less now then this time two years ago) but also those in our neighbourhood. Just now one of the men at my local newsagents around the corner (which I generally thrice weekly visit) said that he thought he'd seen my boyfriend(eek!) at a grill party yesterday. Reacting to these kind of statements can sometimes be awkward. Do I say ''yes, you did'', even though I have no clue if he and Milo were actually there yesterday?! Instead, this time, I chose to say ''you may well have''. He said ''that is your boyfriend right? I recognised him through your son'' and I figured, hell, I see these people enough that I might as well make the situation clear to avoid future discomforts and replied ''well, he's my son's father but not my boyfriend''.
Moments like this are actually far more regular then you'd think. I am often faced with the decision of whether to simply lie (a white one yes but a lie all the same) or to tell a perfect stranger that Milo's father and I aren't together. There's the times in which you meet people and they ask if you moved here to be with your ''partner?'' or those times when the lady at the local Thai food cafe (in which both Milo's dad and I like to frequent) tells me about speaking with my ''husband'' etc etc.
I don't have much of a problem telling people I am a single mum, yes there is a bit of a stigma to it, even these days in which it is not all that iregular, and I have gotten used to ignoring the sympathetic tilt of the head but it is still a little strange to tell such a thing to someone I just met seconds before at the playground. Whenever I say it to a dad, I always wonder if they reckon I'm chatting em up and want to make it clear that I am single?! Or maybe it's just British blokes who'd often think that way?! I don't know.
I guess it's just another one of those single parent things.
Milo getting excited by the camels on our visit to the little farm in our local park yesterday
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