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Being content in my life - especially as an adult - has been a
struggle for me, a fine line between “just settling” and “being
thankful and gracious.”
Marriage came with a lot of things, for me - and, it wasn’t
necessarily the marriage itself but all of the responsibilities we
tacked on with it - like debt, home ownership, car ownership, etc.
Actually, within 3.5 years of marriage, we’ve accumulated three very
used vehicles (2 of which work, today), debt, a home, and soon to
be…two lovely children. So, why is it that when I look at my LONG list
of things I feel grateful for, I immediately also feel a surge of guilt
and terror building in my chest? Why is it that I never feel like we’re
doing quite well enough or that we’re never really moving “forward,”
never really escaping the debt?
At the age of 23, I’m finally learning the lesson on being content.
It was never really about keeping up with the Joneses for me - I
mean, SOMEDAY I think it’d be nice to be able to have a larger home
with a huge kitchen and living area and backyard for entertaining,
complete with arches, french doors, an inground pool, and gardens. But,
then again…I can honestly say that if it never happened, I’d be happy
here. In this house (plus some paint coats and a few DIY projects).
Until I die. I think it’d be great to someday own one SUV and one newer
car - a family car that’s sized just right so it still looks cute (and
I can see the back-end) but is large enough to fit a few kids and their
stuff in - and has great gas mileage. And, a warranty 
But, then again…I know that if I don’t see that for a few, or ten
years, I’ll still be happy. I dream about being able to travel and
being able to entertain guests with lots of food and music - but, I
also know I’d be happy to travel every other year to the beach, and
more locally on the off years - and inviting friends over for homemade
ice cream and cake or campfires and burgers.
No, it’s definitely not what the “Joneses” have or don’t have that make me feel like a trapped lion in a cage. So, what is it?
Maybe it’s the overwhelming pressure from society - and a very mixed
up message that’s constantly being sent our way about the differences
between what we NEED and what we PREFER. And, maybe it’s because I
actually listened and believed.
Society tells you that you need to see your auto-shop basically
every few months. Or, maybe it’s the auto industry that’s saying that.
It sounds funny? Oh, take it in. There’s a scratch? Better get that
fixed. You’ve driven so many miles? Time for new tires and oil! –And,
while I’m sure all this is incredibly helpful for many, some of us
simply can’t afford to keep our vehicles in tip top condition ALL OF
THE TIME. I’ve learned that what I NEED is a vehicle that will get me
from point A to point B. Who cares if the last mechanic we went to for
a simple oil change found 3 new things they thought they needed to be
fixed RIGHT THEN, and by them, (like they do EVERY TIME WE GO) and
predicted nothing short of our untimely deaths by car accidents if we
didn’t listen (something could go out at a later time which could lead
to breaking down on the side of the road which could be at night which
could lead to being killed, etc.).
Society tells you that a “starter home” is 1600 to 2000 square feet
and that once you have a kid or two, it’s OBVIOUSLY time to move on to
bigger homes. Society says that if your home needs some touch-ups, you
should tackle those projects fervently. But, what I’m learning is that
I NEED a place to live. It is my preference that every light bulb
works, that the shutters and garage door get repainted, that the lawn
look a certain way, that the appliances look less outdated and that the
carpet not look drab. PREFERENCE. Not need.
Society tells us that we should have refrigerators and pantries
stocked full, that we should be able to eat out with friends on a whim.
Instead, what I NEED is quality food that will nurture my family’s
bodies. I don’t NEED convenience foods, and I don’t NEED a full
refrigerator. Actually, we’re stocked pretty well on food, but if you
only went by what my refrigerator held it’d look like we weren’t eating
much (which isn’t the case. I just have a lot of single ingredients to
make from-scratch meals. And, they don’t happen
