Contraceptive Challenged

I think I should elaborate on being contraceptive-challenged as I have received some
questions about that. First of all, it is a completely made up word. However, it
does mean that I am destined to have 10 million kids because every
form of contraceptive fails on me. Every. Single. One. And I have tried them
all. The IUD is actually just my latest in a long line of contraceptive
choices. The ring wouldn’t stay in place. For the main reason--I guess I’m
naturally shaped like an oval down there. Every pill gave
me problems with my lupus. The patch gave me high blood pressure and collected
weird pieces of lint. And yes, I have a horrible latex allergy and finding
lambskin is usually just too time intensive. As you can imagine, I was celibate
for long periods of time during my oh-so-long-ago single days. This is not to
disparage any of these great forms of contraceptives, I’m just the unlucky one
so to speak.

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