Counting Down Advent…7 Days Left & It’s A Jungle Out There!

Some people gladly want to wish you a merry Christmas, happy Chanukah, Happy Holidays, while others are no better than the Grinch! And for all they really care, we can all go take a flying leap off the Grand Canyon and have ourselves a very jolly, belly-laughing, cheery-cheerful, happy and blissful frigging Holiday! And an up yours too, with the bird included! Why are they out there shopping? Let me tell you, it’s a jungle out there!

With some shame I will admit that I have allowed these deranged escaped-from-the-zoo animals—really no better than a pack of hyenas on a frenzied hunt—to get the better of me this “happy” season. They have officially dragged me down to their level. Sigh!

In previous years, during the Christmas season, we’ve had our parking spaces taken while patiently waiting to claim it. We’ve been pushed and shoved and cut in-line while we stood waiting to be check-out. And we’ve had our carts stolen at Safeway and Costco from right under our very noses; later to find all our items carelessly tossed into someone else’s cart. And though we hadn’t yet paid for our groceries, the feeling is not unlike being robbed.

So yesterday I sort-of snapped, letting my hinges fall loose. As we stood in line waiting to be checked out at Costco, and all our shopping already on the conveyer, a six-foot-four moose in line behind us takes it upon himself to start pushing our items to make room for his own. Like this was going to get him out of the store faster? So I began pushing back, arranging my items where I had them originally. I’ll show him to touch my stuff!

Well, it didn’t stop there.

The Shrek-look-alike waited a moment and then gave another shove to my stuff, and proceeded to move more of his items from his cart onto the conveyer. And because I am obviously menopausal and somewhat unhinged this particular month, but I am also now sick-and-tired of being pushed around and playing pleasant and meek, I, too, shoved back, and with more force this time, using the handy stick divider. And I waited to see what he would do next.

Mind you my husband was standing ahead just in front of me, and had no idea that his wife was having a push-and-pull tug-a-war with the gorilla standing behind us.

I could see the two-ton giant breathing harder and almost see the gears in his head moving, as he oiled them in preparation for retaliation. So I put my hand on the dividing stick, grabbed it with a death grip that made my knuckles go white, and waited—the whole time thinking that I would most likely strike him with it if he made another move against me. I had no fear at that moment. I know! Who was the animal in the jungle now? But lo-and-behold he gave up. Phew!

I really hate shopping during the Christmas holidays!


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