- Share This Post
- submit
- 4
-
Sparkle (0)
As a blogger, I get people offering to send me books for review multiple times a week. I love this, because I love books, but I hate this, because my time is limited and some of these books are atrocious. When I had the chance to review a copy of Logan Levkoff's Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be: What Your Kids Are Learning About Sex Today -- And How to Teach Them to Become Sexually Healthy Adults, though, I jumped at it.
There are few things I find as daunting, as a parent, as the prospect of teaching my children what they need to know about sexuality. Not because I have trouble talking about this stuff, necessarily, but because I vividly remember squirming during conversations with my own mother. How embarrassing, I remember, to have to discuss these things with my mom. (In retrospect, I credit my mother with having absolutely gotten it right, being open and straightforward with me.) I tore into Third Base with the hope that it would serve as fortification in my parental arsenal; I'll take all the practical guidance I can get.
The book didn't disappoint. In fact, it handles plenty of the hard issues with ease, and my respect for the author only grew as I read on. By the time I'd reached her advice on how to handle those hard-to-answer personal questions (turn it back on them with counter-questions to find out why they're asking what they're asking -- sneaky and brilliant), I was prepared to ask Logan Levkoff if she might adopt me. Realizing that that might come off as a bit too creepy, I decided to interview her, instead.
Without further ado, I give you Logan Levkoff -- author, sexologist, and accommodating interview subject:
Mir Kamin: Tell me about writing this book; who do you hope is reading it?
Logan Levkoff: This book was such a pleasure to write. I loved every minute of it, because as corny as it sounds, this has always been my passion and I do believe that we all can make a difference in our children's lives. That being said, I hope everyone is reading it. Third Base wasn't written solely for parents; it is for anybody who works with or cares for children and teens or is simply curious about how our culture has changed the way children and teens view sexuality and intimacy.
MK: I love how you (repeatedly) emphasize that discussing and teaching moral values is the parents' job. What do you say to parents who insist that their values forbid even discussing sex with their children?
LL: Giving values is certainly a parents' responsibility -- especially when the media may provide kids with a set of values that are the antithesis of yours. But sexuality is an innate part of who we are -- from the instant that we are brought into this world. The fact is our children get thousands of explicit and implicit messages about sexuality every day. If we don't take the time and use the opportunity that we have as parents, we default to many other sources. I believe that even if (on the surface) you don't believe in talking about sex -- hopefully, at the core of our values is the protection of our children's health and welfare. If that is the case, it is our responsibility to talk to them about sexuality and health, in general. This world is different today, and we need to step up to the plate (pardon the pun).
MK: I've had a few recent adventures in discussing the facts of life with my kids, but they're still quite young and willing to talk/listen. How do I (and other parents) keep that flow of communication going into adolescence?
LL: Parents sometimes think that in order to have a conversation with your children about sexuality, you have to be talking about sex. I want people to realize that sexuality is far more than intercourse (which by the way, is fairly heterosexist, right?). Once you cover the less sophisticated issues (anatomy, puberty, pregnancy, the difference between families), it becomes far easier to talk about the more provocative ones (like sexual behaviors and safer sex). The best way to maintain the flow of communication throughout adolescence is to be non-judgmental, listen to what your kids and their friends are talking about, watching, reading, and doing, and then ask open ended questions and start sharing your own experiences, too. Teens often think that their parents are just out of touch. But
