Bio
I'm the BlogHer Contributing Editor on parenting children with special needs, and I'm at your service.  I am more than a parent, but with three...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

Crappy Pop Music? Not in My House

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 17
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Our family has an audible soundtrack. It might be tuned to Leo, softly scatting along on one of his spontaneous grooves. Or Mali, belting all seven verses of "The Golden Vanity" as a matter of pride. More often, it's eleven-year-old Iz, singing along to her own compositions instead of practicing the classical pieces her piano teacher assigned. The kids' bath time soundtrack is almost always the same countertop iPod sequence; our driving soundtrack is constantly negotiated. And sometimes, the soundtrack comes from me -- or more accurately, my computer, offering up the latest wonderful daily freebie from KCRW's Today's Top Tune, or Daytrotter.

(I haven't paid for music in almost two years).

Seymour and I have always shared the music we love -- and its history -- with our kids. It's a lovely feeling, when I start singing "All I Do Is Dream of You" from Singing in the Rain, and both girls jump in, warbling along to the end. Or when Iz returns from summer camp, and one of her biggest thrills was befriending a girl who turned out to be Marni Nixon's* granddaughter. Or when we all shout "Sad Will Scheuster!" at the screen after watching the latest episode of Glee.

The historical information transfer, it's not entirely complete. Last week, when Iz came down the stairs in shiny black leggings, I teased her by singing, "I've got chills, they're multiplying..." She protested, "I do not look at ALL like Rachel in that Glee episode!" And then we had a sit down about how Glee is all covers all the time, and she does know that "The One That I Want" is from Grease, yes? But non-encyclopedic musical knowledge doesn't really bother me; I was a '70s child, and it took me years to realize that The Carpenters didn't write "Please Mr. Postman", nor did Linda Rondstadt originate "Love Me Tender."

But I do fret about Iz's current musical leanings -- she's starting to zero in on crappy pop music. This a problem for two reasons: 1) I think most pop music sucks, and 2) the oldest child can inflluence on sibilings' listening patterns, and set a household's musical tone for years. I have my older brothers to thank for showing me the KROQ way of New Wave, and protecting me from the hard rock horrors of KLOS; my high school classmate Gwen's house was all-ska, all-Madness all the time, due to her older brother Eric's somewhat obsessive guidance (don't worry, she turned out OK).

MUNICH, GERMANY - OCTOBER 02: Katy Perry reacts during the 190th 'Wetten, dass ...?' show at Olympiahalle on October 2, 2010 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by Johannes Simon/Getty Images)

Here's another problem: Where is Iz supposed to find music that doesn't suck? She needs to find it on her own, that's a rite of passage; but the urge to intervene is strong, because there is no such thing as innovative radio programming in our area. And her friends listen to mindlessnes like Katy Perry, whose music -- aside from being the pop equivalent to The Wiggles in quality and originality -- is full of inappropriate imagery. Hearing my eleven year old bopping around the house singing "Let's go all the way tonight" is a bigger concern than Ms. Perry's showing a bit of boob-top on Sesame Street.

I don't have a good answer, not yet. For now, we take turns picking driving music. When it's my turn, we listen to the new music I've downloaded, and I wait to see if Iz responds. When it's her turn and she chooses insipid pop music, we talk about it. We also discuss strong singer-songwriter role models beyond Lady Gaga.

But I'm starting to get a bit desperate. So much so that I actually ... purchased an album I thought Iz might like: The Dø, which has interesting singing by a female lead, covers a variety of styles, including rap (Iz is intrigued by Eminem, whom I've described to her as a talented misogynist). Otherwise, I'm at a loss.

Because Iz's music can't just come from me -- that's liable to backfire, and turn our house's soundtrack into one of musical rebellion. But she's stuck, because her friends and the radio only direct her to poppy piffle. She's a musician herself, she deserves better.

So, where do your kids get their music? And whether you have

AttachmentSize
zelly_green_day_camp.jpg188.31 KB
  • 17
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Anne Kimball 10 pts

OK, I just wrote a post about almost the same thing (http://www.blogher.com/dear-rihanna-and-katy). I feel like it's easy enough to expose our kids to more well-rounded music when they're younger (my kids were quite familiar with Ray Charles, Aretha, the Beatles) but there comes a time, as you pointed out, that it's time for them to "find their own groove". When I began to become aware of the lyrics they were listening to, my first thought was to ban it. But I realized that they will hear it, regardless of my actions, and that banning would only serve to strengthen the allure. I've settled on talking about what it is we're listenng to, and making them aware that just because a singer is played on the radio doesn't mean that they have anything worthwhile to say. So my stance is enjoy the freedom of finding what you like to listen to, as long as you truly LISTEN to it and weigh it for what it's worth.

Thedomesticgoddess 5 pts

I knew that about Marni. My Fair Lady is my favorite of all time...
We're Indy station fans here. We're lucky to have a great one in Philly (xpn.org, home of World Cafe). check it out.
My boys like everything from the Beatles to country and all in between...

Domestic Engineer, Total Babe and SAHM Check out my lame blog at www.thedomesticgoddess.wordpress.com ( http://www.thedomesticgoddess.wordpress.com )

nannygoats 5 pts

Margaret

Nanny Goats In Panties (www.nannygoatsinpanties.com ( http://www.nannygoatsinpanties.com/ ))

Oh man, that's gotta be so tough trying not to control everything your kids hear. I like your description of Eminem as a "talented mysogynist". It's true. Everyone else has some good suggestions for you, but I got nothin', and not having kids helps me not help you.

However, as I'm sure you know, in spite of what they listen to now, if they hear other stuff repeatedly as children, it WILL have an effect on them. I still can't get Ray Connif and The Sound of Music soundtrack out of my head and it's been 40 years!

Shannon Des Roches Rosa 8 pts

I will have Iz read this post and see what she thinks. What an excellent collection of recommendations -- will crib some for myself.

Shannon Des Roches Rosa
Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ ) parenting first, autism second
CanISitWithYou.org ( http://www.canisitwithyou.org/ ) real tales of schoolyard terror and triumph

Shannon Des Roches Rosa 8 pts

Big difference between the New Wave played in the LA area on KROQ and the crap played on the pop station, KIIS. Former = Human League, Soft Cell; latter = Kenny Loggins, Air Supply.

Thx for the recommendations!

Shannon Des Roches Rosa
Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ ) parenting first, autism second
CanISitWithYou.org ( http://www.canisitwithyou.org/ ) real tales of schoolyard terror and triumph

Liz Henry 12 pts

New wave 80s music WAS crappy pop music, I have news for you Shannon!

I think she (and you) might like Ana Tijoux's latest album, 1977. I've had it on endless repeat all this week. It's fabulous.

And I recently wrote a whole series of posts on this you should show her, with links to the music and often to videos! Moomin really likes all this stuff. Best Mashups for Kids ( http://badgermama.com/best-mashups-for-kids/ ) (Mashups are very educational!), Best New Wave for Kids ( http://badgermama.com/best-new-wave-songs-for-kids... ), and Best Punk Rock Songs for Kids ( http://badgermama.com/best-punk-rock-songs-for-kid... ).

Iz might also like: Los Campesinos (a British twee punk/pop band), the Kabeedies, Metric (Help I'm Alive is amazing), Rilo Kiley, Kimya Dawson, and Zee Avi.

-----------------
Liz Henry
Composite: Tech & Poetics ( http://bookmaniac.com/ )
Badgermama ( http://badgermama.com )

ewillse 13 pts

Belatedly, I ask... what does she think is the best part about Katy Perry and Lady Gaga and the other crappy pop Iz likes?

Based on the fact that Eminem is in the mix, I'm guessing it's at least partly the music and the beats. In which case... what about instrumental stuff?

This is totally random but-- try world music that's instrumental, with giant beats and horn sections. Celtic rock- Peatbog Faeries are a crazy Scottish band with a killer horn section. Ashley McIsaac's also a good bet. Grab the album "Hi. How Are You Today?"

Indian- masala bhangra has good beats, and I don't know the artists. There's also a lot of interesting French pop-rap rock. Unless she speaks French, no bad lyrics! :-) There's a great group called Manau.

- E

www.elizabethwillse.com ( http://www.elizabethwillse.com )

Freelance Writer and Book Reviewer

ewillse 13 pts

As a girl who was raised on the Rolling Stones and turned out okay (Dad's explanation for some of the lyrics was "grownup humor,") I think kids listening to the blues makes perfect sense. Anything that's nasty goes over their heads.
That said, if Iz is digging Lady GaGa, maybe try her on some of the elder stateswomen of blues: Susan Tedesci, Irma Thomas... big throaty vocals, some good guitars. Lyrics a little sexy but mostly in metaphor.

- E

www.elizabethwillse.com ( http://www.elizabethwillse.com )

Freelance Writer and Book Reviewer

ccarfi 5 pts

Wean the kids on the Ramones.

Rocket to Russia is a great place to start.

theknittingjourneyman 5 pts

My 9yo daughter--her musical tastes--and her bizarre operatic interpretation of some songs--is just down right scary.
it started out so innocently--she began by liking soundtracks to various movies...and then she saw Queen of the Damned...my kid turned Goth right then and there. But..she's still a good kid and eschews wearing black...so far...knock on wood. We are pretty open to her music...you think your daughter singing about going all the way is bad...Katy has another song on that cd that is 'show me your peacock'...I get to hear my kid belt that one out...I asked her if she knew what it meant...so far, she doesn't...again, knock on wood. But still--it just creeps me out beyond words.
We try, and try and try and try, to expose both kids to a variety of music...my daughter was raised on Madonna...when she was an infant that is was the only thing that got her to sleep. Mostly my son doesn't care, but he prefers more mellow stuff.
Our meeting in the middle of things is the radios--even the adult's radios--must be kept down low enough so that no one goes deaf and so that no one feels intruded upon or made to suffer--revenge is sweet--I tried playing the most outrageous ethnic musics I could find--but--we all love them--but I found out my daughter is driven nuts by music that has no words and has no real hummable rhythm...I will play anything from classical to improvisational jazz, loud enough to bug her, for extended periods of time...if her radio gets too loud...she doesn't turn it up too much these days.
The one thing we can't really change is her singing--especially when we are in a vehicle, with the windows down, and she is belting out some scrungy pop song on the radio--and her voice is huge and all over the place and nowhere even close to being in key--and everyone is staring trying to find the dying animal behind that noise...and there I sit, trying to hide myself while still driving and not killing anyone...sigh...ear plugs can be nice some days...

Tabitha journeyman.silkenthread@gmail.com http://knittingjourneymanredux.blogspot.com/

NotJustAnotherJennifer 7 pts

My biggest goal is to expose our kids to all music so they can understand that there is more out there than what is "popular" right now and find what they really like. Granted, ours are little, but it's funny what they gravitate toward already. Our 3 year old will turn the knob on the radio in the kitchen and say, "Mommy, do you like this song?" And sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. But I will tell her my opinion and ask her what she thinks about it.

At bedtime we play mellower music like Enya and classic composers. Lately it's been Simon & Garfunkel, and the Mamas & the Papas - her choice. Though the other day, Sweet Child of Mine came on, and she LOVED it. That's not entirely terrible for her to say her favorite song is by Gun N Roses, is it? :)

Jennifer Barr is a wife and working mom of two beautiful girls, 3 going on 13 and 9 months, which means she's sleep deprived but constantly kept on her toes! Most of those experiences are chronicled on her blog, http://midwestmomments.blogspot.com.

Jenifer Monroe 5 pts

IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY FOR THE SMITHS :)

My tween/teen set likes One Eskimo, The Smiths, Violent Femmes (not 100% lyrically appropriate, but it's a give and take, right?)
Took them to see The English Beat, which was a big hit. We also listen to Bob Marley, Vampire Weekend, Guster, The Innocence Mission, and, of course, Johnny Cash. xo

mcwhclan 5 pts

My teenage daughter actually has the WORST musical taste ever, and torments us with it on a regular basis. 'Tis not fair really.

But the one thing I have learned, is the more I don't like it, the more she does. My husband has started just started singing along and that seems to at least decrease the volume. I am hoping that it is just a phase.

blogging about life stuff at http://mcwhclan.wordpress.com

JennaHatfield 131 pts

We're currently listening to "Overture to the Magic Flute" ala Mozart right now. That said, BB's first favorite song ever was... uh... "Roxanne" by The Police. Which, I mean, cool, it's not today's crappy pop, right? But to hear a two year old sing about the "red light" was, uhm, interesting.

I was flipping through Sirius the other day in the car. I stopped to listen to a song that falls under today's pop scope but also falls under my "like it" radar. The next son on was your mentioned Katy Perry song. I didn't immediately change it until she started singing about going all the way tonight. I'd really rather BB sing about red lights to his classmates than going all the way. Hopefully they just think that he's talking about traffic lights. Ahem.

Anyway, you can do your best. My parents did. They really did. I have a wide and varied musical love. I mean, I was a double major with music. I kind of had to... right? But my teen years were awash in music that my poor father hated. It was pop crap to the max. I returned to sanity by the time I hit college, but it still wasn't his music. (Thinking of my dad rocking out to Ani is kind of funny.) But it was mine.

Hopefully she exits the phase of craptastic music quickly and finds her own music niche before I did. And I know you'll find a way to muddle through it. My dad? Even took me to concerts that he loathed. (And then turned around and took me to his as well. Smart dude.)

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

Shannon Des Roches Rosa 8 pts

I'd be licking your face with appreciation and you would be diving for the wine to deal -- everyone wins!

*MAWH*

Shannon Des Roches Rosa
Squidalicious.com ( http://www.squidalicious.com/ ) parenting first, autism second
CanISitWithYou.org ( http://www.canisitwithyou.org/ ) real tales of schoolyard terror and triumph

iasshole 5 pts

This is kid music at my house, when we are not rockin the gangsta rap:

Cake-pop/rock, smart funny lyrics, HORN SECTION Pretty PG, imo. I know, I know, the singles were overplayed, but the man is a poet.

Bjork/Sugarcubes

Nouvelle Vague--awesomes covers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7OS30c2Fys

Kings of Convenience (mellow)/Whitest Boy Alive (dancey) They share an artist--prettiest voice in pop. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9r9sQ6PHOM

Positive Tip Hiphop like Blue Scholars, Tribe Called Quest, The Cool Kids http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrCfNhN2GFA

Halo Benders "God Don't Make No Junk" The girls love "Don't Touch My Bikini" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01k9ypH0IIM BOOOING! Also with Calvin Johnson--Dub Narcotic Sound System and him solo. <3

Devotchka and Beirut--jangly gypsy musicks

Los Campesinos! Bratty Welsh band with emo love songs and unusual instruments. Think Belle and Sebastian for the ADD set (hello that's me) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_avXa5PIedc

Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings--soulful 60s music but written today. She's like James Brown, energy level. GR8 backing band. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ouI5KcyHfE

How about "old school" pop music--jazz/vocals. Yma Sumac, Ella Fitzgerald, Louie Prima. All very high energy.

And IT'S NEVER TOO EARLY FOR THE SMITHS.

xoxo, Shan, good luck!!

I, Asshole ( http://iasshole.org )