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Owner of The Shape of a Mother and This is a Woman, blogs focusing on body image issues for women with the intent to shed light on what is truly norm...
 
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Own Your Beauty: Why I Got Inked

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Many years ago on SOAM, a woman posted a beautiful photograph of her breasts, pierced with delicate spheres of silver showing atop and below each nipple. Her breasts were those of a mother, not a young girl, and the adornment accentuated the beauty of who she was: a woman. The piercings had been her reward for her time spent nursing, a way to crown that which had done its miraculous job, creation in another sense of the word.

The idea inspired me. After all, throughout history and all over the world, people have used things like piercings and tattoos, even jewelry, to adorn the body for all sorts of reasons ranging from class status to spiritual protection to health care. And in every use there is the element of beauty.

proof it's me

For many years I wasn't into the idea of permanently marking my body with tattoos –- what if I changed my mind? And then, of course, I had children and my body was permanently marked in a way I really didn't choose. Suddenly, the permanency of ink didn't seem so intimidating. It's all a part of my story, anyway, isn't it? My scars speak of injuries or pregnancies; my tattoos speak of my children and my personal growth.

This is all, it seems, quite superficial. And perhaps not your cup of tea. And maybe, at first glance, somewhat uncharacteristic of me to write about superficial beauty. It is true that creativity goes so much deeper than our skin and our garments, and we should always, always be aware of that. But I like the idea of letting part of my inner spirit show in my physical body. I dress with creativity, and that makes me more authentically me. And I am not talking about fashion here -– I would not know fashion if it bit me right in my rear end –- I am talking about dressing in a way that makes you feel beautiful all over, regardless of what Joan Rivers might say about it. (That Joan Rivers reference right there is, I think, evidence of how out of sync I am with fashion these days.)

Being creative on an inner level is absolutely important. It is also more obvious. When we discuss being creative, we often think of bringing more art into our lives, in a variety of forms. I feel really drawn here to focus on joining the two themes –- creativity and body. Besides, you are already creative. You might forget to notice, but you create every day. The meals you make for yourself are art, even if they are instant oatmeal or a simple stir-fry. The daily movements you make, be it exercise, or simply briskly walking to an appointment, are art if you choose to think of them as such. And making that choice is important –- you will hold your head up higher as you create your simple, daily, beautiful art.

Douglas Adams, author of the famed Hitchhiker's Guide, has another book called Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. (Leave it to me to bring silly science fiction to a deeper level and apply it to the well-being of women in this culture.) One of the themes of this story is that, thanks to math, a musical score can be made of anything in nature, from the way a rabbit moves his ears, to the curve of a valley. This idea fit right into my heart the first time I read the book. Everything I see is music. The shape of my body, the way I snore when I sleep, even the way I lose my temper, is a musical score waiting to be discovered by some future composer able to tap into the universe in that essential way.

And the same is true of you. Each step you take each day is music. The way you hold a friend's hand is music. Your smile's curve is music. That instant oatmeal is music, too.

So while you think this month over your inner creativity and while you ponder the idea that your body can be your canvas, too, please remember that you are creative every moment of your life. Madeleine L'Engle spoke often about being co-creators with God. I know we don't all share the same

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lackawaxen 5 pts

Great story and very nice replies. My wife-to-be got two tattoos before we were married because both of us liked them. After we were married, I got a tattoo and my ears pierced, because we both like them. We're both professionals, and we're both over 40. Our tattoos and piercings (and, yes, more than ears, plus more in both of our ears) will be for our own private enjoyment of our own time together.

bibliophile21 7 pts

I love this post, and especially the comment by mashadutoit, "They are a kind of visible contract with myself, that even if I change, I will be proud of who I was at that moment." I got my first one after my husband returned from Iraq, it is a symbol of my emotional strength during that journey that also incorporates my faith (Christianity, where I feel my strength comes from). It's not traditionally feminine or badass like most tattoos but it has a huge meaning to ME. I thought that would be it but I'm always thinking of more.

Bonnie Crowder 5 pts

Oh that is AWESOME that your mom got inked at 70. She's owning her beauty for sure!

Bonnie
The Shape of a Mother ( http://theshapeofamother.com/ )
Zebrabelly ( http://zebrabelly.wordpress.com/ )

Dawn 8 pts

to get my first tattoo - an Om symbol on the back of my neck.

I thought about it for years and fought about it with my husband.

But when my birthday came, it was Him who bought me the gift certificate - carefully researched by him as to which place had the best reputation and artists.

I will most likely get one more - to celebrate the end of my PhD, a sort of birthing process in itself.

As all on here have commented, it is My reminder for Me to breathe and Let Go. Just for me.

Dawn Rouse

Writer, Thinker, Nap-Taker and almost Doctor of Education

I am Doing the Best I can ( http://www.balefulregards.com )

True Wife Confessions ( http://www.truewifeconfession.com )

jentyree 5 pts

They really truly are. Even more so if they have a meaning.

I have two tattoos - one on the back of my neck that I got in 2007, its the Chinese characters for Courage. And then also a pink breast cancer ribbon and the word fighter on my left wrist. I plan to get more - my sons name, in his handwriting with a blue star above it. And the same for any future children. I am not going to leave it at just the two.

Its a form of expression. Some people can draw really well and are known as picasso, etc... I prefer to let todays artists draw on me.

~Jennifer

My Totally Random Life ( http://www.MyTotallyRandomLife.com )

Bonnie Crowder 5 pts

But I do not yet have an urge to get it so it's clearly not the right time.

And thank you again and forever, for the idea for this one. I sometimes feel funny having totally swiped your idea, but the idea settled so firmly into my heart that I feel it was the Right One for me. ♥

Dwana of Houseonahillorg 7 pts

I appreciate this more than you know. I have four tatts and recently took my 70 yr old mom to get her first ink! Love it!

I'm Houseonahillorg ~
Healthier Happier You! ( http://www.Houseonahillorg.blogspot.com )
Healthier Happier You Reviews ( http://healthierhappieryoureviews.blogspot.com/ )

IWantThursdays 5 pts

I have always wanted ink. My husband is not a fan of having an inked wife. So far I have acquiesced to his request--though I did ask him to get one for me and he didn't! But one day it might have to happen.

I try to explain, that just like my short hair, (of which he is also not a fan), it really has nothing to do with him and has everything to do with me and my body.

Bravo. Bravo on your ink.

tara

More of me at: http://iwantthursdays.blogspot.com

Momofacrew 5 pts

'They are a kind of visible contract with myself, that even if I change, I will be proud of who I was at that moment.'

Beautifully said, exactly how I feel. Whenever I hear people say 'you will regret that', I cannot help but smile and think 'NO WAY'...my oldest tattoo is older than my teen children and I still look on it fondly, a memory of a previous time.

Momofacrew 5 pts

I couldn't have said this better myself and thank YOU for saying it all so beautifully!

I have several tattoos and each time I have gotten one my family has had all kinds of crazy things to say...particularly as my husband doesn't have any, so they think he must not like his danity little 'girly girl' wife 'damaging' her body.
I have gotten a lot of 'you will regret that when you get older'...not a chance! Life is for living and experiencing, being present. I have zero regrets for anything in my life, it is a part of the intricate fabric of my story.
Each of my tattoos is from a destination, places we have been on vacation that I have decided to hold with me forever...the last one my children were with me and helped design it, now it is apart of all of us and they enjoy telling the story of that day (it is also the most visible)...making it a part of their fabric as well, and that makes me smile.
Thank you for the treat of your delightful writing!

JamieValmon 5 pts

"But I like the idea of letting part of my inner spirit show in my physical body."

*My parents are SO against tattoos but I am getting one to represent my son and my husband...Not everyone is comfortable with the idea of a permanent mark on the body, but the way you explained your reason for getting inked makes tattoos sound beautiful on a whole other level! Thanks for sharing!

Jamie Valmon

http://lifesunexpectations.blogspot.com

wannabe hippie 5 pts

But, much like you, after having my babies, it seemed so natural. My tattoos are for them, though my mom would think that shocking. Now I just need to come up with the next one. ;)

--
Elaine
mama to two girls gone wild, Lily (7) and Anya (5)
www.WannabeHippie.com ( http://www.WannabeHippie.com )

shirafriedman 5 pts

Although most would think it's out of character for me - I've been thinking about getting some ink for quite a while now. Maybe that's precisely why I want to do it?

Shira http://gardenfordessert.blogspot.com/

Jennie W 5 pts

Absolutely beautifully written. Tattoos are so often seen as "rough & tumble" And for a lot of people, simply uncouth. But what those people fail to realize is that behind almost every tattoo is a story. My biggest tattoo is of a hummingbird and a flower. Some might see that simply as a nice scene. It's actually based off of a picture my father drew when he was 5 years old, right before he lost all of his vision entirely. He lost his sight just a few months after that. 5 years old, and drawing beautiful, brightly colored hummingbirds! It is my daily reminder that even when life tosses us curve balls, anything is possible.

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The round heads in the square holes." http://jennieweaver.blogspot.com/

midnightbliss 7 pts

i like to see women with nice tattoos but as of now, i don't think I am ready for such a permanent mark.

empathetic 6 pts

This is beautifully written and I quite agree that tattoos can be a creative force and an expression of that energy for a person.

I began getting inked at 20 and felt so connected to the process and as I continued into my thirties, felt that each harnessed my power as a woman and individual - a rite of passage so to speak of each decade of change.

And for some reason, the inking itself brings me back to the births of my two daughters and I hope that they see it as empowering them in some way when they carve out their niche in life.

Bonnie Crowder 5 pts

"They are a kind of visible contract with myself, that even if I change, I will be proud of who I was at that moment."

I love that so much that I shared it on the OYB Facebook group and I'm going to save it in my own journal. Without fully realizing it until you said it, that is really exactly a large part of my reasoning. So thank you for verbalizing it. And for reading my mind. Can you do that again? It was handy.

mashadutoit 7 pts

I have several large and very visible tattoos -

They have become a very important part of my self image for two reasons.

One - they are a visible record of the person I was at that moment when I designed them and had them drawn into my skin. They are a kind of visible contract with myself, that even if I change, I will be proud of who I was at that moment.

I'm not a blank slate any more, holding off from committing to any mark, in case it is the wrong one.

Two - I'm not comfortable with the usual ways of making yourself attractive, with makeup etc. They make me feel as though I'm putting on a disguise or a mask. But the tattoos are beautiful, and they help me feel confident about myself and how I look.

falnfenix 6 pts

this made me smile. proud inked women make me incredibly happy!

JennaHatfield 67 pts

I don't regret my first tattoo. But my second tattoo -- the Celtic knot I got to represent the adoption triad after the placement of my firstborn -- holds so much meaning to/for me. It was something I needed to do/get in order to emotionally/mentally proceed with life. It is a part of my soul as much as it is a part of my skin.

This post made me smile. Thank you for writing it.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

tattedmom 5 pts

I'm tatted from my neck to my foot, a proud mother of 2. Tattoos are definitely a great way to express your personality, mark milestones of your life, and be unique.

Amazing writing. =)

sassymonkey 181 pts moderator

I love my ink.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

Julie Ross Godar 12 pts

Ink, instant oatmeal and Madeline L'Engle make me smile. Beautiful writing!