Shame Punishments

For better or for worse, there seems to be a media driven trend towards shame punishments. First, we had Tommy Jordan who shot his daughter’s laptop. The girl had used it to publicly complain about being forced to do housework. Then, there was Denise Abbot who used Facebook to punish her daughter with the words ”I do not know how to keep my [mouth shut]. I am no longer allowed on Facebook or my phone. Please ask why.” Now, we have Kaytlen Lopan, a 13 year old who cut off a 3 year old’s hair and was sentenced to 30 days in detention....more


Melinda Reynolds Tripp Author of What Should You Do? IF SCHOOL DISCIPLINE IS THE HEADLINE THEN FAMILY DISCIPLINE SHOULD BE THE BY LINE BY AUTHOR MELINDATRIPP ON JUNE 19, 2012 In my local paper, the headline , Discipline, dropout rate discussed.  The author’s premise is that black boys in  particular, are not able to handle the school discipline policies and hence face a larger proportion of expulsion and dropouts  per capita.  They have gone so far to employ a reach-out program. Let’s discuss this,  teachers have the same standards for all of their students....more

Creative Defiance And The Well-adjusted Child

A friend of mine likes to tell her dogs they've made "bad choices," and while I'm not necessarily equating child-rearing and dog training, there are some parallels. For example, I'm not really a morning person, but having a toddler roaming around the house pre-dawn with poop dripping out of his pajama leg and wielding a butter knife sort of gets the adrenaline pumping sans alarm clock, if you know what I mean....more

The Trouble with Kids Today

The Trouble With Kids Today“People are telling parents like me that we are failing our children because we practice controlled discipline in our homes....more

Still Waiting on That Family Contract

At the beginning of May I talked about how I was failing at disciplining my kids.  I decided I was going to sit down with my husband and create a family contract that would help us better discipline our kids instead of just yelling.  I had wanted to have it up the following week, and if you search my site you will see it never happened.Continue reading on Long Days, Short Years...more

Facebook as a Parenting Punishment Tool: Good Idea?

Denise Abbott's decision to publicly discipline her daughter on Facebook sets a precedent to be public about their issues. Technically, her 13-year-old Ava set this precedent when she first disrespected her mother online, but Denise followed suit. If the experts who say that modeling proper behavior is the best way to teach children life skills, like discretion and respect, then arguably Abbott's choice of discipline may have inadvertently reinforced her daughter's behavior instead of curbed it. Kind of like spanking a child to punish him for hitting, or screaming at a child for throwing a tantrum....more
@Johann7 Your comment has really given me food for thought. You are right. There is an accepted ...more

The Troubling Message in Fifty Shades of Grey

As someone who believes the world could do with a more open-minded approach to peoples consensual sexual interests, I wanted to like Fifty Shades of Grey. But as I read the book, I found it not only sets people who live a BDSM lifestyle back decades in terms of being understood by society, but that it eroticizes dangerous practices as well, especially for those who are new to this aspect of sexuality and looking to incorporate it into their lives. ...more
foalpapers Geeze, I thought it was just a popular sexytime book. This is horrible :(more

Discipline Is Remembering What You Want

I believe that most people have an end goal of wanting an amicable divorce. Not just to keep the divorce cost down, but also to maintain a healthy relationship for the benefit of their children. What can occur is one, or both sides, of the party starting to get focused on the differences that they encounter and they begin to lose focus of their primary goal. Sadly, this is when all hell breaks loose and it becomes a downhill emotional battle....more

Perspective on Parenting

Linda Blair examines the damage in situations where a mother insists on treating her child like a friend. She writes, “the parent-child relationship is not like any  other. Good parents give and then give more — and, unlike the expectations they’ll have in other relationships, they must try not to expect anything in  return.”Read more:

Your Baby Isn't Trying to Annoy You; She's Crying to Communicate

On a recent trip to the park, I overheard a parent ranting and raving about a little one “being a brat and always pitching fits.” It took me less than two seconds of looking at the child to realize his mother had put him down on hot asphalt without shoes on, and his "fit" was actually cries of pain as he danced around trying to keep his poor little feet off the asphalt while trying to push past his mommy to get back into the car. In a few years this mother will wonder why her ten-year-old is always so sullen and silent....more
I think it's important to note that kids get your overall intentions, even if you make one or ...more