i never say the word "no"

Today while we were out running errands, my son was asking about doing something or other and as I answered him I realized I never actually say the word "no." It's just instinctive now, I don't even think about it. The easiest way to set off an oppositional child is to directly challenge them. Saying "no" does just that. Through necessity, I have found a way to answer "yes" to just about everything. Indirectly, that is. An example of this is while checking out at a big box store today, they had all sorts of candy and chocolate right by the register. My son asked if he could have one....more

Teaching Children the Fine Line Between Honesty and Manners

Momma, he is so large, she says to me, to herself, to him, to no one and all of us at the same time, but not nearly as large as the shame-hole I just fell face-first into, kid, I whisper silently, a prayer for either forgiveness or forgetfulness, though I am not sure which would have been preferable....more

As a plus sized person,when I was at a heavier weight, I know and have known what the gentleman ...more

Acquaintances and Ignorance

Interesting conversation today with an acquaintance. Just to clarify, an acquaintance, not a friend. Anyway, she was speaking about a mother she knows whose son has mental illness. She was chatting away judgmentally about how the son can get very violent due to this illness and sometimes the mother has locked herself in the bathroom in fear. This acquaintance was going on and on about how it must be a discipline problem and how she would never put up with that, she would put him into some sort of institutional care....more

How to Lay Down the Law: Tips for Making House Rules

Sticking To It While I'm a list-maker, I tend to make too many lists, revise lists and sometimes scrap the whole list. I'm not at all a person who sticks to a routine or schedule. Instead, I flit and float from this to that. These are more reasons {in addition to the reasons in yesterday's post} why I have been hesitant about making House Laws for our family; I'm worried that I won't think to enforce them and I, myself, won't follow them. ...more

Laying Down the Law: House Rules

Follower of the Law In general, I follow laws....more

Saying NO

WhereParentsTalk.com From the:  "Disturbing but this is apparently life in 2011" file, an 8-year-old kid in Colorado with a history of anger management issues was pepper-sprayed by police at his school this week.  His mother is upset. Hmmm. ...more

I Need Some Space!

I've heard over and over again that the best way to get a well-behaved child in public is to remove her from any situation in which she is causing a ruckus.  Screaming at a restaurant.  Back to the car, possibly to drive back home.  Tossing and flopping on the beach, time to go back home, immediately.  I've never quite been able to pull this off because usually when one twin is melting down, the other is completely fine.  To take both twins outside of the area for a calm down period only serves to enrage the happy twin.  To leave the happy twin in the area (whe...more

Ruthlessness is a Virtue in Single Parenting

I have become quite ruthless since becoming a single mother with regard to cutting people out of my communications who are any kind of a drag on my energy. I am working so damn hard to get to where I want to be for myself and my children, that I cannot tolerate anyone or anything that pulls against the current. I imagine myself like a boat and when a friend or family member acts as an anchor against the direction that I am moving, I without hesitation pull out my giant knife and cut the line that ties me to that anchor....more

Teaching Manners To Children Other Than Your Own

Growing up, manners were no small joke in our household. Lessons learned that I used to find embarrassing I am grateful for today. I was taught to not only say hello to the parent of a friend I was calling on the telephone but announce who I was. Friends who called me on the phone and gave the usual, "Is Reedu there?" were answered by my mom with a "Yes," and a dial tone....more
I would greatly appreciate it if the village helped me to teach good manners to my children. If ...more