criticism

While these past two days
I've been dealing with criticism from my aunt and another person who I
don't know very well. At first it made me feel bad because I do have
low self esteem and I felt the criticism was unnecessary. But the
slogan "live and let live" made me realize that my aunt and this other
person are there own people. They have there own journey in this life.
Yes it hurts but I don't need to let it consume me. I decided not to
say anything to them about there comments and I am going to let it go.
I can't control them but I can control my reactions to the situation. I
am choosing to ignore and be nice because that is in my power.

 

 I am not usually the leader in my household. Usually it is my mom
who takes care of the bills and so on. But after our financial crisis
my mom is still not stepping up and taking responsibility. I am not
going to lie it does upset me. But, when she was in control she didn't
tell anyone what was going on until we almost lost our house. I am
grateful we where able to save it just in time. Now my mom still says
she needs to make a budget and we need to have a family meeting but
every time I ask my mom when we can do this she makes some excuse. Like
she is too tired, she doesn't have time, etc... But next month we will
need to start paying the mortgage again and bills. I'm worried that
because of procrastination we won't be able to pay it because we need
to figure this stuff out RIGHT NOW. I am trying to become the leader
and set everything up but that's hard as well because I feel like my
mom is not listening to me. She is going back into her denial phase.
Which is frustrating for me. My mom is an ex addict and she acts like a
child she wants no responsibility for anything even though she is in
her 50's. I'm 21 and I've been like the parent to her for all these
years. But  is about focusing on me so I'll get to the point. I talked
with my counselor about it and my using the tools in alanon I realize I
can't control my mom but I can control myself and what I choose to do.
So I'll just have to sit down myself with the bills and make a budget
myself since she dosen't want to have anything to do with it. I will
have to step up and be the leader and even if no one listens to me I'll
have to take responsibilty not for others but for myself.

 

 from "paths to recovery"
 
How am I honest? Do I tell the whole truth? If not what stops me from
telling the truth?
 
Am I honest?
I try to be honest but no I am not always honest.
 
Do I tell the whole truth?
There are some people in my life I am always honest with. My mom, my
fiance, my HP. But there are times when I do not tell the whole truth.
There are times when I do find myself not being honest either with
myself or others. sometimes I feel it is necessary to keep the truth
because I don't want to deal with other peoples judgments or opinions
especially when they don't even know the whole situation.
 
What stops me from telling the truth?
Fear mostly. Fear of judgment, fear of no one caring, fear of people
not understanding what I'm going through. etc.

 

 I read this last night. I've been dealing with criticism the past
two days so reading this really helped to shed some new light on the
situation. As well as reading the alanon group shares about controlling
myself even though I can't control others. Who knows why other people
do or say the things they do but I can control the way I react the
situation.
HP, help me to not fear what others think of me. Help me to remember
that things people say can not hurt me. when people say things that are
critical help me to let them roll off my back and to not stay in my
heart and mind. Thank you that though hurtful words may come and go you
are with me forever. Prayers for emotional wholeness by Stormie
Omartian
I changed some of the words to make it more friendly for people of all
faiths. I just wanted to share it. I hope it helps someone like it
helped me. I can let peoples hurtful remarks and comments go. I am
still slightly hanging on to the hurt but with the help of my HP I know
I can let it go.
Thanks for letting me share
Christina

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