Cross Post - I'll Get You My Pretty

Back in October, I left for the weekend, leaving my 6-pound maltese poodle, Mwaji,in the care of my roommate, who loves her more than me most of the time. (Seriously. My roommate texts me that she misses Mwaji when she's been away from her for like 3 hours. Not days. HOURS.) Basically, couldn't be in better hands. Anyways, while I was gone and while my roommate was walking my dog, a neighbor posted a note on our door. Saying the most horrible things and accusing me of neglecting Mwaji and that I was a terrible human being. I blogged about it along with my initial response. Read the first note here.

Guess what? The bitch is back! And I'm not talking about me or the Mwaj-Podge.

Anyone who has met Mwaji (aka everyone that I work with, since I bring her to the office on a weekly basis) knows that Mwaji is a spoiled little puppy. Yes, she is overly clingy and has separation anxiety but in no way has she been abused.

I am very offended by this note not just because I'm being accused of being a heartless human being with no respect for life. I'm also offended because she could have at LEAST left a note that made sense and at least showed she read our response from the previous note. I would respond but then again I still don't know who this neighbor is! I'm moving out in literally a couple of weeks (STILL NEED TO PACK. GAHHH) so me responding to this is moot.

If I had to respond, though, I might write something like this:
Dear Neighbor,
Your notes are a tragedy. Not only do they not make sense ("Your partying ways will have the best of you, and the heck with your dog?), they also have many holes in your logic. If you can hear my dog crying for me for "several days", then surely you can also hear my non-stop gaming marathon of Smash Bros Brawl (Wii). Believe me, I put that volume on HIGH! Have you ever tried to play The Subspace Emissary on Hard? It takes FOREVER...and I really must unlock all the characters before I move out at the end of the month because I plan to have many people over to have a good ol' fashion brawl.

I know, it's hard for me to stop those "Partying" ways I have but I just can't resist a LAN party/game party. I would invite you but I do not know where you live. Sad face. Please tell me which bridge you dwell under and I will happily send you an invite. Now do I make the attention to the Unemployed Tenant Who Spends Her Days with her Ears Pressed on the Door  or can I get your full name?

I do admit that my dog has crazy shrill barks. One of the nicknames I gave her is Squeak Toy. Isn't that cute? I apologize that it sounds like she's sad but I really can't help her voice. It's the way she was born and shame on you for hating on a cute puppy just because she was born slightly different. You are not a friend to animals if you cannot accept that that's the voice God gave her.

I already suggested that we talk in person (like adults) in my previous note (which I still have a copy of if you lost your copy) and you clearly didn't abide by it. Since you didn't abide by my previous note, then it is completely fair for me to disregard your previous note. If you find my logic is flawed, well, we don't wanna open that can of worms because I could go to town on the craters in your logic.

Anyways, stop by whenever you're free and we can have a cup of tea and chit chat about my future in the chambers of Lucifer. You know where I live.

Your Friendly Neighbors in Apartment 9
(Yes that's right. There's two of us. I got back up, bitch)
PS - All kidding aside, why is "idiot" in quotation marks but not "cruel bitch"? Seriously. I really want to know.
PPS - "someone" and "no one"...not "Some-One" and "No-One". You have an obsession with hyphens. I-can-tell. 
PPPS - I understand I'm rambling it's just I haven't had human contact in awhile. I'm stuck at home all day in the apartment. I actually don't have a dog. The cries you hear...are mine....


Honestly, I am so hurt that my mothering skills are being called into question. I can't even imagine how it'll feel if it was my actual child and someone was accusing me of not being a good parent.

Life of Duabs

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