Cross Post: Making it up as I go along
By MamaZinga on June 08, 2012
In the words of the immortal Anne of Green Gables
Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet? - L.M. Montgomery
This is the thought that gets me through most days. I have no idea what I'm doing, I mostly just make shit up as I go along. I suspect I'm not alone.
At least I have the Internet. Whoever said kids don't come with an instruction manual never Googled "Pregnancy and Parenting". There are roughly ten thousand websites out there, all claiming to be the leading authority on all things baby. Ok, I might be exaggerating but not by much.
My life changed forever when I peed on that plastic stick. My fate was sealed by a thin pink line. I was a mom. Gone were the lazy Sunday morning hangover breakfasts with my man. I would no longer be able to justify buying expensive shoes just because they were "cute". I was going to have to quit smoking and start investing.
I hadn't really given much thought to my future but now that I was responsible for someone else's future it was time to get serious.
First stop...the Internet. First site browsed... What To Expect When You're Expecting
Logical first choice right? After all, the book IS well known and respected.
Whoa, that website should be renamed. I think 1001 Gross Facts About Pregnancy would be more appropriate. I joined a home board (July 2010). This was it, I was joining an elite group of mommies in the know. Gestational Jedi's who would unlock the secrets of motherhood like a bunch of obstetrical Obi Wans. They were discussing serious and controversial topics such as...drum roll please...flatulence. Huh? Indigestion. WTF? One girl claimed to have felt her baby kick at 6 weeks and when skeptics pointed out that her baby was a tiny cluster of cells that didn't have feet they were told to take their negative attitudes to the Hot Topics board with the rest of the catty bitches (more on this later). These women were just as clueless as I was. Nowhere did it tell me how to be a good mom. It was clear that I was going to have to broaden my horizons if I expected to find all the answers. BabyCenter, The Bump, they were all the same. There were no answers, just more questions. Everyone had different opinions on the "right" way to raise a child. Which one was right?
In the end I did what all new moms do. I read some books, I talked to my mom, I talked to a few friends who are moms, I watched A Baby Story on TLC. We figured it out. We're not perfect but we're doing ok. We research, we weigh pros and cons of this method over that method and sometimes we make it up as we go along. We learn from our mistakes and considering how many mistakes we've made that is no small feat.
I did learn something from my time spent on these parenting websites though:
Opinions are like assholes...Everyone has one and most of them stink.