BlogHer - Weighing in (on Weight) Again - Comments

Thank you

Zandria — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 10:41:16 -0600

Thanks for being an inspiration! It took me a while, but I finally wrote my own weight post, and used what you wrote here as an example in this post.

Keep Up With Me

Still fat...

NYFarf — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 17:26:55 -0500

While I appreciate your calling me fit - I just don't see it and never will. Yet it is equally as scary that people find my blog by googling "how to be Aneorexic" - I wish everyone could be happy with how they look, but until I am, I can't judge others for it.

A Musing Farf

Great topic

GreatPicken — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 15:22:56 -0500

INNside Innkeeping in Big Sky Country
When I lived in NY once upon a time, and walked to work on Park Ave, I saw in the window of one of those ritzy embroidery stores, an embroidered pillow with "you can never be too rich or too thin". In hindsight, I think it effected me more than I thought.

I thought Terri's remark about imperfection and self loathing dominating lifestyle was right on. It gets to the point where it becomes so ingrained and has crept into the psyche to a point of becoming insidious. I know I base my food intake based on activity level, how much I ran, rode horse, (ran after my horse, ran after my guests !) :):)

Thanx for opening the dialogue

Thank you!

Suzanne Reisman — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 15:21:29 -0500

Thank you so much for saying this, Kalyn. I really appreciate it.

Suzanne, BlogHer Contributing Editor - Feminsim & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

Warning: May Cause You to Pack on the Pounds

A Elliot — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:37:45 -0500

I don't feel too badly for the "gazelles" who've been banned. If the point of a industry is to make something targeted for a specific purpose (ie clothing for non-models) then the industry should stick with that. You don't see a lot of cars being made for people who are 7 feet tall because obviously most people aren't 7 feet tall. As a mom who formula feeds, I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about how formula cans have a little "warning" saying that breastmilk is healthier. While that's a whole separate issue, I've oftened wondered if we're going to see the day where a bag of Oreos will say: "Warning, not as healthy as an apple" or "May cause you to pack on the pounds."
A. Elliot

If we had a different lifestyle...

Cassandra — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:31:06 -0500

I blame our nation's obesity on a few things-- (1) insanely huge portions that our bodies then become accustomed to. There is no way I *need* as much food as I *want*, and boy is it hard to teach my body that. (2) How many hours we spend working/commuting. If I only had to work 35 hours a week, it would be *so much* easier for me to fit in working out. And finally (3) that we think a size 2 or even a size 6 is normal.

In June, I started trying to lose the 10-20 pounds I had gained after my May 2005 wedding. I'm 10 pounds down, hoping to lose another 8. It's taken my 33 years, but I am now worried about the size of my clothes. I weigh myself ~ once a week, but I stare at the !#$% scale every day. ;)

Cass

Patience is a virtue that takes too long

Fantasy is just that...fantasy

Terri987 — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 09:00:06 -0500

The reason America is so obese is because of our obsession with perfection. We see everyone in print ads, on TV, and billboards looking so attractive, appealing and perfectly fit. We look in the mirror and are instantly disappointed in ourselves. We forget these people have a whole team that has spent hours on their hair and makeup, put them in the best lighting, airbrushed away even their smallest imperfections, and even modified their body proportions through PhotoSHop. We eat away our insecurities with the sense of ...well, I can never look like that! It becomes a cycle of shame, leading to eating and then to more shame. It's a classic addiction pattern. Once we are made to feel like we are a failure in some way, it becomes that much more difficult to make positive changes in our lives.

I also have this voice incessantly chanting.."you need to lose some weight....you look chubby in that...you're so out of shape....take over the world....dominate the masses...show no mercy...(oops! those are the other voices my doctor told me not to talk about! :-) )

Anyway, the more we focus on how imperfect we are, the more that begins to dominate our lives. How much time and energy do we waste loathing ourselves? We could have cured 100 different diseases with the energy used to make cellulite disappear and wrinkles go away. We should spend that time and energy working towards something more worthy of ourselves. If 3 billion women never squandered another minute on useless shame and worry about their bodies....what would this world look like?

Terri.."yes, I know that was long-winded"..987

Earthen Vessel Designs

Sigh

JennaHatfield — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 08:20:23 -0500

I have my own personal issues with weight which are only continuously exacerbated by the gaining of pregnancy weight and the subsequent loss. I am also back in the habit of weighing myself in the morning. And I know that I shouldn't.

My senior prom dress was a size three. Taken in. In college, I lost even more weight. I was eventually hospitalized. While I am not proud of who I was at that point in my life...

I miss being in the minority of "small sized women."

But, to be honest, even with myself, I totally dig my hips now. ;)

Family Living; Hatfield Style - Our Family Blog
The Chronicles of MunchkinLand - My adoption blog.
Jenna

Great Post, Suzanne!!

debra roby — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:55:21 -0500

I am not one of those daily weighers.. but I wonder if this because I was a natural "popsicle stick" when I was a kid. I'm not anywhere near that now. But I find I think more about weight and size now then I did then (way back in the 60s..).

I am also wondering if the measurements of your then "perfect 6" and the current "perfect 2" are not the measurements. Which doesn't solve the problem of people thinking that they have to be rails to be acceptable.

When I return home the end of this month, I'm "rewarding" myself by finding a gym with a trainer and getting as compulsive about getting fit again as I've been about other parts of my life. I hope to lose weight as part of the fitness regime, and find that a much more acceptable route to take than obsessing over each and every calories I consume every day. We'll see.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

BTW

Kalyn Denny — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:45:09 -0500

BTW. Suzanne, I think you're a fantastic writer! I always enjoy reading your posts.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

Wonderful Post

Kalyn Denny — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:43:03 -0500

First, I weight myself every morning, with pretty much the same process as you describe, and despite all the experts who say you shouldn't do it, I've found it to be a good way to keep me mindful of what I'm eating each day. I don't consider it a bad thing and I'm definitely not "obsessed" with my weight.

The points you're making about our culture's obsession with thinness are good ones, but there's also the other side of it, which is that more and more, people in America are just too fat, especially older Americans. Whenever I travel abroad (as often as I can, but never often enough!) I'm shocked by how much more healthy people look. I think many Americans subsist on poor quality food and make bad choices from the options that are available to them.

I've been there. Before I started eating the lower glycemic index way (South Beach Diet) I weighed over 40 pounds more than I do now. I'm now a respectable but not overly skinny size 10, and life is much better than when I was just plain fat.

It's a balance that's hard to achieve for many people, but I think that managing what you eat so that your weight is appropriate for your size is a great form of self-love.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

One more reason...

neesie — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 06:12:32 -0500

I have no idea what I weigh and have not known for years. I have banished scales from my house and always tell the nurses at my doctor's office to just write it down . ( I face forward on the scale so I can't read it.)
Since clothing sizes mean nothing today I try to just decide if I feel good in my clothes. It is the only thing I can do do prevent complete craziness over a number.
The obsession we have about being sickeningly thin is just one more reason I want to run away to the beach and never peek out from behind a sand dune.

Not what it seems

Weighing in (on Weight) Again

Suzanne Reisman — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 00:40:27 -0500

Every morning my routine begins the same way: get up, go to the bathroom and pee, wash hands and face, return to bedroom, put in contacts, weigh myself, frown/smile, go about the rest of getting ready in bad/good mood. Yes, I weigh myself every morning. I know that it is not what you are supposed to do, and I donâ€™t really learn anything useful from my AM weigh in, but I am far from the only woman obsessed with her weight.

Traditionally, this affliction tends to more frequently affect middle and upper-class white heterosexual women, a small slice of the worldâ€™s population, but of course a disproportionate share of ink gets spilled over the topic. I know that I am only adding to this annoying focus on the issue, but given the recent ban on super-thin models in Spain and the number of blogs I see about weight, I thought it worth re-visiting anyway.

Generally, women with a body mass index (BMI) of 18.5 to 25 are considered to be healthy weights. According to an online newsflash from the BBC, â€œThe Spanish Association of Fashion Designers has decided to ban models who have a BMI of less than 18â€ in response to protests from health experts at the Madrid fashion shows last year. I found out about the ban from Jane at Complain Jane last week. She astutely noted:

The critics of banning super skinny models need to shut the hell up. By banning super skinny models they're saying it inhibits the creative process of the designers... [and] â€˜that the careers of naturally "gazelle-like" models could be damaged.'

A few episodes ago on Project Runway the designers just couldn't make close [sic] for the normal size woman. It was total bullshit. The modeling industry is so afraid of a bit of weight. There was also an episode of PR where the designers were talking about one of the models as being "zaftig" or a bit plump. She was so super skinny when we were finally able to see herâ€¦

So don't give me this crap about "designer creativity"

While I hate the idea of banning someone from anything based on how she looks, I just laugh and laugh at the panicky defense of the 0.01% of â€œgazelle-likeâ€ women who naturally are over six feet tall, 115 lbs, and have giant breasts. Whatever will these poor women do for a living now that they cannot be walking clothing racks? While I have had insomnia lately, I can guarantee that I am not lying awake with worry about how designers might have to make clothes that the rest of the population can fit into and that the flock of â€œgazellesâ€ might be forced to work regular jobs like the rest of us â€œfatâ€ working slobs. Sure, it is insulting to be forced to deal with us porkers, but no one said life is fair. We canâ€™t all win the genetic non-gazelle lottery, can we? (Uh, scratch that â€“ I guess most of us didâ€¦)

The immense hatred that many women have for their bodies because we live in a sick culture does, however, keep me up at night sometimes. A commercial ran on TV recently for a diet plan in which the woman in the ad excitedly declared that she dropped from a size 6 to a size 2, and that she can finally be proud of her body. My jaw dropped at this increasingly shrunken (now thereâ€™s an oxymoron) standard. Even with size inflation, since when is a size 6 fat? When I was young, I suffered through at least 20 books in the Sweet Valley High series in a pathetic fruitless attempt to fit in with my peers. The twins who starred in the books were always described as â€œa perfect size 6.â€ This was in the late â€˜80s, barely 20 years ago. Are the novels edited to now say size 2 or even size 0 is "perfect?"

Itâ€™s hard to be immune to such insanity, unless you are neglected by mainstream advertising and media anyway (which may be why women of color tend to possess more positive body images, although this may be changing). My friend Sara, who I consider to be in fantastic shape with a fabulous figure, recently discussed her body issue with humor at A Musing Farf:

I love the Shakira song Hips Donâ€™t Lie. Except it got me thinking about my own hips and how I hate them. Someone once told me that a woman can never change the length of her calf or the width of her hips, but I have proven them wrong. I made my hips much bigger.

I am beginning to panic. And of course, panic causes me to eat. I have SWCNBNâ€™s wedding in slightly more than a month and want to weigh 10 pounds less. How can I do this when I canâ€™t stop eating??? And, itâ€™s not just my poor body image this time that is convincing me I am fat. My clothes are tighter. In fact, my jeans are leave lines on my thighs and waist. This is very bad and yet I canâ€™t stop myself. And now I ate chocolate that Law Firm Partner brought back from vacation. In fact, I just ate two more pieces. How am I going to make it though the weekend and still fit through the doorframe? It is a sad state of affairs when I look forward to fasting on Yom Kippur so that I will be prohibited by G-d from eating.

I know some people with for world peace or an end to disease, but really, all I wish for is to look good in the new fall fashions.

I know Sara well, and she is one of the fittest, most attractive women around. Letâ€™s put it this way: I would not mind it at all if my hips were her sizeâ€¦

Itâ€™s not that dieting and self-hate are new. Back in 1985 or â€™86, 15 (mostly white, middle and upper middle class) fourth graders at my junior high, were interviewed about dieting for an article in The Wall Street Journal. You guessed it: one of those girls was a very chubby me hiding out in what I considered the coolest lavender sweatpants and matching sweatshirt with rhinestones that you could buy at Venture, Chicagoâ€™s now defunct K-Mart-esque chain store. Only two girls were not currently on a diet. (Yes, you guessed it againâ€¦) Everyoneâ€™s mom except mine was on a diet, too. When the reporter asked why they dieted, my classmates often cited the need to be model-thin to be liked. Annoyed, I stated that, â€œModels look like popsicle sticks,â€ which was included in the article. Fortunately, the reporter did not cruelly describe me as overweight, which I suspect would happen if the interview took place these days.

If models looked like popsicle sticks back when a size 6 was perfect, I fear for what they are now, and much more so for the impressionable girls who want to emulate them, thus growing into women who hate themselves for not achieving the genetically near-impossible. By essentially censoring super thin women and designers, Spain may have overstepped the boundary between freedom and public health, but at least authorities sparked healthy debate on the issue.

Suzanne also blogs against the beauty tyranny at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch