No more jerk-holes...

Annie Dennison — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 19:25:19 -0500

It's truly a beautiful thing to read that the men you've been going out with lately are "gentlemanly." I want to point a bunch of women I know your way and say, "See? Not all men are jerk-holes!"

I tend to agree that as long as things are moving along slowly to the third date, it's not necessary to 'fess up to going out on dates with other men.

It's when things AREN'T moving along so slowly to the third date that full disclosure seems like a good idea...

Annie
www.SmartatLove.com

Juggling Act - Part 1 - On dating a few people at the same time

Min Jung Kim — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 18:12:02 -0500

Dating is hard enough as it is.
I mean really. And I speak of this personally as I've found myself to be 32, single, and hating the fact that my metabolism has gone from godzilla like prowess to that of a banana slug. Have you ever seen how ugly a banana slug is? But I digress.

But on the occasional boon moment where you go from famine to feast you have the opportunity to play the field and strut it.

Strut it like you're walking in red high heel shoes that make you feel like you've got the ability to fight crime - strut it.

Most recently, I've had this opportunity. Color me surprised. I was dating 3 different gentlemen at the same time and I'd met them all within a 2 week span of each other.

They were all nice. Cute in their own fashion. And gentlemanly. Because yours truly is trying to break old habits of dating jerk-holes.

The first obstacle is around scheduling:

Swiftly resolved with the following geek girl tools.

Mac w. Missing Sync + Treo + PC w/ Outlook + Lipstick.

The second obstacle is around discreet use of your communications mediums.
Email/IM/SMS/Phone calls - never saying anyone's name while in the presence of any of the other fellows. Merely a "Hey, I've got to call you back. I've got something. No I promise I'll give you a buzz to plan that later".

No more, no less. No need for additional exposure or guilt associated with that.

At what point do you disclose that you're dating other people? Certainly not on the first date as it seems presumptious.

By the third? When you've kissed at least one of them? Probably a good idea.

A simple, non detailed and 1 sentence statement of "Um, you know, I'm dating other people too." is more than sufficient.

While we all grow up as honest, moral, and communicative human beings, one of the hardest things to get over is

SHUTTING THE F' UP.

It's not a lie. It's not cheating. And there's no guilt involved. But it's also a case where a gal, for once, has a whole set of cards in front of her before deciding on which hand she wants to play.

So yes -- that's the first set of things I've learned.

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No more jerk-holes...

Juggling Act - Part 1 - On dating a few people at the same time