BlogHer - S.I.N.King and loving it - Comments

It's all Great

soldier85 — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:25:49 -0500

I love that blogher is expanding out to reach many different social groups. Everyone has made a valid point in their own right and I've been a SINK, DINK and a mommy blogger so I deffinently understand all point of views. Yes I am an infamous mommy blogger but it makes up for what I lack as parent <sad but true> Half my childs life I've been in Iraq so sometimes he's all I can think about and your right mommy bloggers click alot because of shared experiences but you will see that SINKS and DINKS do to. Just not to many on this site that get together but I'm proud to see that it's finially happening. Just wish it would have happened a few years ago for me. :)

-*soldier85*-

Since this post was the

Zandria — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:29:21 -0600

Since this post was the harbinger that brought about the new Life/Singles category, I'd like to thank Heather for bringing this subject to everyone's attention (not only for the Singles category, but places like Indie Blogger as well). :)

Keep Up With Me

Not Alone!

AshleyRose — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 15:11:35 -0600

One of the things that I have noticed about being a SINK blogger is the lack of community. I have made blog friends but it isn't the same as the Mommy Bloggers. Thank goodness I'm not alone!

This is too exciting for

Neasa — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 15:28:39 -0600

This is too exciting for words! I joined! I linked! Now I'd better go write something. Thank you Heather B - it was this post of yours that led me to Indie Blogs! Wheeeee indeed!

www.neasa.typepad.com

I'm floored

HeatherB — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 14:57:51 -0600

Along with Stacy, I'm floored that this has been met with a very positive response, not only here but via email and well it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about the internet. Stacy is the brilliant one, but I'm all for pimping. Gah, I'm so excited about this project. Wheeee!

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance

!

Jurgen Nation — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 12:08:20 -0600

I am so completely touched and motivated from all the support this has been getting. Just a quick note to let everyone know that we're live. I don't know how the H it happened so fast, but we're actually up and running. If you want to know more, please click the newsletter archive, which is the main repository of what's going on and how it all works. Then, if you want to join - and I hope you do - join through the main page.

Essentially, I've set it up so that EVERYONE will be published. The main page is reserved for the "Showcase" of featured posts, but I also thought it would be more fair and more in line with my underlying point of the entire site (exposure) to also include a page that includes ALL member's posts. It works via feed. So, basically, if you can't find new writers and great posts through either of those, let me know because I'm doing something wrong. As I've been saying, it's all-inclusive - FOR EVERYONE. If you want to be a part of it, please sign up. I'd love to see you over there.

The Features page works like this: if you sign up, you're automatically assigned the role of "Contributor." You can log into the site, write and submit a post. It will only allow you to save as a draft once you're finished, as Featured Entries have to be checked over for hidden code and generally approved for content. The more you submit/contribute the more your "trusted" level goes up and eventually you'll just be able to write, save and publish automatically. I want to reserve approvals first, though, because I really want to keep the main page as a showcase of the best of the best.

Anyway. I think I'm done rambling. :)

How exciting!

Zandria — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 10:53:58 -0600

It's exciting to see all of the comments and commentary that have been written about this topic. Like I told Stacy, this is a niche that I've been wanting to see expanded for quite some time. I think it might inspire some people to participate that aren't already, as well as provide a central gathering place for like-minded people (or just the curious!). I'm excited to see where this takes us. :)

Keep Up With Me

The site will be up soon -

Jurgen Nation — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 14:41:28 -0600

The site will be up soon - hopefully this weekend.

Again, this network is not exclusive. It doesn't matter if you're a parent or not a parent or anything else. We are all, whether we realize it or not, fit into a million different categories a day. We identify with some of them and we're appalled with some of them. I don't think anyone disputes or doesn't understand mothers needing outlets. I think that's why, as I've been saying, the Moms have such a strong network. But a lot of people *don't* have a network, and this is a place where they can go to as well as ANYONE else who wants to because he or she enjoys writing for the sake of writing.

I had the pleasure of talking about this with Lisa yesterday, and I'll write here what I told her was my reason for starting this. At BlogHer, a friend and I were sitting in one of the break out groups when we were asked to describe our blogs and how we'd classify it. We looked at each other in horror. We're not humorists - what kind of person actually goes around saying, "I'm funny! I'm a humorist!" Nobody calls him or herself that; rather, other people classify them as such. She and I aren't parents (to non-animals), foodies. We have "personal" blogs, people say. That sounds so droll and I wouldn't want to read mine if it were described in that way at all. It was funny yesterday because I spit out to Lisa without thinking about it fully, when actually it is THE definition of why this NEEDS to happen. As I described my friend and I being in this situation I said, "how do you describe to someone that you're writing a blog about yourself without sounding like a self-important ass?"

And that's it. I'll stress it again: it doesn't matter who you are or what category you're in. What matters is that so many of us write about "stuff," but it's so much more than that. Too many outsiders think that writing outside of a niche means that you're "just" a blogger who has nothing of value to say. I take exception to that. I will probably never get published. That's fine. But I'd like to think that, even writing about my life, I add something to blogging or writing in general. And that has nothing to do with being single or childless or anything. It has to do with being outside of any group that is accepted by marketers and general public as "important" and "non-frivolous." Another repeat: I mentioned the Moms only because of the success they have had strengthening their own network. Lisa told me yesterday that the difference between 2005 and 2006 BlogHer conferences was that the Moms, from 2005, had banded together and, in one year, had become a solid network. That's a source of pride, that's huge. And I think any new network needs to look at that for inspiration. No one is minimizing the endeavor or parenthood in general. Rather, we're celebrating the fact that creating a network of support has been done and with such amazing success.

My goal may sound cheesy, but I want to change the way people view bloggers like me who just write about "stuff" because it's more than that. I'm doing this because I need it and I hope some others do, too. And the way it's going to be set up is, again, not exclusionary. Indie Bloggers is a showcase of writing that you might not see otherwise because the Blogosphere is huge. I look to the Moms for inspiration as to the strength of the community and I look to This American Life on NPR as to the content and the "showcase" aspect. It's about meeting new friends and reading new, amazing writing by someone who just started blogging or who has been blogging for years but, and this is the most important, who have been under the radar.

It's not about being in a niche. It's about not fitting into any category but chugging on anyway just for the simple fact that you like to write, and write WELL.

Wow. Holy ramble.

I just want everyone to understand that this isn't about being exclusive or negative. It's completely the opposite and EVERYONE is invited to submit. And it's coming - I'm working on the site now. I bought the domain name, so we're official: it will be at www.indiebloggers.org.

Until then, if you're interested in helping or participating, please e-mail me at stacy@jurgennation.com. The mailing list server is currently down, but there will be one shortly. This literally all came about the morning I wrote the post, so I'm doing what I can to make it come alive. And I hope to get your support because I'm really proud of this and think it could dovetail very nicely into the BlogHer networks. It's just about writing, showcasing it and getting exposure to those who might not reach many people otherwise.

Okay, I'll be the one to speak for us.

Sarah — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 09:33:30 -0600

As a Mother first and Mommyblogger second, I have to admit that I started blogging because I was spending all day with two 11 month olds and needed an outlet where I could speak in full sentences.

I will say that 1) I completely understand where you guys are coming from, especially Heather because I have actually been there. I agree that I had a lot more disposeable income when I was 23. However, being in my 30's now with a sngle income and two kids we're still pulling in more than twice the amount of money that I was making straight out of college. 2) I think that putting together more networks for single ladies is a fantastic idea.

Okay, the third thing that is impossible to understand until you actually have kids (especially little kids) is how dramamtically different your life becomes when you become a mother. It is shocking how much you lose your sense of self when your entire world revolves around other people who absolutely need you for every single aspect of life. At the same time it is wonderful and can't be compared to anything else. We need each other to make sure that we aren't crazy, and we aren't screwing up our kids, and just to confirm that we aren't the only ones with vomit in our hair.

I have lots of friends without kids. I read a lot of blogs that aren't Mommyblogs. I can absolutely see where Heather is coming from here, but I think if and or when you decide to have children you will see how badly you need the other mothers. Part of it is community, part of it is desperation, but most of it is the understanding. Having someone to say, yes I know what you mean - and really mean it makes all the difference in the world when you spend all day and night every day and every night, not being "Sarah" or "Heather" but being "Mommy".

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sports and Fitness
Sarah and the Goon Squad
Draft Day Suit

Oh, I tried, but I'm not very well-connected there

Elisa Camahort — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:34:04 -0600

I would mention it to folks who just kind of glazed over...I'm sure thinking they had bigger fish to fry. But I think it's a pretty big fish to make millions of your target audience feel marginalized!

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer and Worker Bees
elisa@blogher.org/elisa@workerbees.biz

I hope you told them that,

The Journal Blogger — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 18:49:07 -0600

I hope you told them that, Elisa.

I've been trying to tell them for years, but they won't listen to me!

Cheers!
Dawn

Dawn Rivers Baker writes The Journal Blog
- where business and politics meet the mind of a wise-ass

As a xxNK myself...

Elisa Camahort — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 18:26:09 -0600

I am soon ending 2 years of being an active participant in my local Democratic Party, including being my Assembly District's representative to the California Demo. Party executive board. It has been an endless source of frustration to me that I am not represented in all of their montages of the "real people" that they are working for. Every woman depicted in brochures and in the endless slide shows shown between speakers is either:

a) a nurse/doctor
b) a teacher
c) amongst a group of police or firefighters
d) Or depicted as part of a family (with or without husband, but definitely with kids.)

Where was I, the single, childless woman?

Where was I, the business woman?

Not in the picture.

Bugged me every single time, every single meeting I went to.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer and Worker Bees
elisa@blogher.org/elisa@workerbees.biz

You know what's funny is

The Journal Blogger — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 16:15:10 -0600

You know what's funny is that, as I was reading Heather's post it occurred to me that I could think of all kinds of reasons for BlogHers to build networks.

Is there a support network for teen bloggers? My 17-year old daughter blogs and I think having an online network of other young women to share experiences, etc., with would be great for her.

Is there a network of women who own small businesses? There are all kinds of WOB groups locally and nationally but I haven't come across any for women business owners who blog -- and, of course, almost all the top small business bloggers are men.

I do hear what is being said here and I agree. I was appalled when Working Woman magazine went "on hiatus," while Working Mother continued to thrive because advertisers somehow couldn't get the hang of advertising to women in the business world but they could deal with pitching their products to moms.

I am a mother but I have always resented being treated by marketers as if that was the most (or only) important thing about me. So I would love to see the SINKs and DINKs experience some monetary success here, because that's a lesson about women that both advertisers and politicians need to learn. It's almost as if, for them, we have no identity if we have no children.

I say, 'go for it!' I'm behind you.

Cheers!
Dawn

Dawn Rivers Baker writes The Journal Blog
- where business and politics meet the mind of a wise-ass

Jes! My honor...

Lisa Stone — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 15:12:06 -0600

thank you for naming BlogHer specifically in your question. I appreciate the push, and you caring what I think.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Lisa, this is why we adore you.

jes — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 14:51:30 -0600

Lisa, That was just the type of confirmation that I was looking for from the community - something to let us know: "This is a good idea. You should do it!"

Getting feedback from such an important community - one where we've all grown both as individuals and bloggers - is essential, regardless of whether that feedback is positive, negative or constructive.

Thank you!

jes

S.I.N.King and loving it

HeatherB — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 08:45:05 -0600

It's pretty much been the same tune sung day in and day out in regards to the fund crisis that is the life of a 20 something. It's not necessarily crisis but it can be mildly frustrating and while there are aspects to being in your early 20's, like a high metabolism and it being acceptable to have a constant hangover, it's still just a nagging thing that I'm sure I will laugh about in the end. And while I will readily complain about the former, I cannot say that I don't enjoy having a rather disposable income. I can do pretty much what I want, when I want and if I really wanted to pack up and move across the country tomorrow, there is no one else that I would have to check in with. If I wanted to invest in Alpaca and make a new career as a sheep herder, then no one can stop me. It's actually quite a beautiful thing and to quote Dave Matthews "I shall miss these things when it all rolls by".

The reason I began blogging was because it was a platform to discuss/whine about the above. That the immediate time after college where you're pretty much in flux with things, is rather tumultuous and given that 99% of people happen to go through it, I felt that there would be some sort of support or something there. And as the time has gone on and I do have an avid You rock! etc. readership, it's not the same, being a single female blogger (since blogging can be very niche like) and getting that same support mechanism of say a female who happened to have a child, for instance.

I write the above with extreme trepidation because I don't want to be labeled a hater of those who write blogs of the parenting genre, mostly because I don't dislike and embrace them with enthusiasm, hell, I garner much of my disposable income from babysitting for a Mommyblogger but I do find it all rather interesting. I was speaking with another blogger about this earlier in that I am a single person with no kids (Single Income No Kids) and like I said, disposable income, from a business stand point it would make sense to swoop me up and offer me things and realize that with my disposable income, I can buy whatever I feel like buying, but alas they don't. Not to mention (deep breaths) that ad offers aren't the same either, I mean it's well known that bloggers who are parents are considerably more desirable than those of us without children. Which isn't criticism or even jealousy it's just an interesting fact that has seen a major upswing over the past year.

But like I said, I don't dislike parent bloggers I just find it interesting the way women in particular will flock to another woman if she is pregnant but if I were to get a new job or decide to make a career change into acrobatics, I doubt anyone would be equally as enthralled with my journey and/or search me out for premium ad space. It's just how it goes and you can be assured that I'm not the only SINK (or DINK) who is equally flummoxed by this entire parent blogging brings all the ads/love to the yard phenomenon.

An excerpt from a very excellent post by Stacy of Jurgen Nation:

The bloggers I read faithfully are, in my mind, friends. Some of them are parents, some aren't. I don't really think of them in terms of mommies or daddies, I think of them as [blogger] friends -'Blends', if you will.

What bothers me is not that the Mommy Bloggers have a network. Nay, what vexes me is that the personal bloggers, i.e., the SINKs (Single Income, No Kids! Hi Mom! Over Here!) and DINKs (Double Income, No Kids) don't have this built-in support system. The Mommy Blogger has that extra wonderful layer. If you've never witnessed the Mommy Bloggers in action, it's truly astonishing. They form an umbrella of support and cheerleading for each other; one could even describe it as 'mothering' or 'nurturing' (I know!). It's almost as if, when a new mom starts a new blog The Moms form a caucus, the sole purpose of which is to pair that new mommy blogger up with a mentor or buddy until she gets the hang of it and becomes A Mommy Blogger (echo, echo). And then, like bees, they all descend on each each other to encourage, cheer, support.

_______

BlogHer CE, Heather B also blogs (and whines) at No Pasa Nada