welcome, Z!

Birdie Jaworski — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 19:52:38 -0600

As a single 41 year old woman, I am looking forward to your posts here, Zandria!

Birdie
Birdie's BlogHer Contributing Editor Blog
La Pajaro
Beauty Dish

Glad to have you, Zan!

Denise — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 15:17:12 -0600

Oh your 101 things list! I had forgotten you were doing it!

~Denise
Fast Times @ Homeschool High

You can call me single...just don't call me desperate

Zandria — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 13:36:49 -0600

I'm a new contributer to BlogHer, and I'll be writing for the equally brand new Life â€“ Single category. If you're wondering, "Zan, what qualifies you to write about singles?" â€“ well, I'm more than happy to tell you. I have nine years of experience.

Whenever I say that, I feel like I have to qualify it by adding: "I'm single by choice." Although there was that recent affirmation in the NY Times (51% of women now live without a spouse), there remains some curiosity about why a woman would choose to remain single for so long. Especially during what many consider to be the prime dating years. I'm 26 years old, which means I've been single throughout the entire time I've been in my 20's. I've dated; I've been interested in several guys; but that's it. During most of that time, the biggest reason I had for remaining single was that I just wasn't looking.

The reason I wasn't looking is because I decided, in my early 20's, that I needed to like myself, and learn who I was as a person, before I let someone else into my life. I wasn't bitter, and I've never had my heart broken. Being single has afforded me the freedom to do things I might not have done otherwise â€“ like spending a semester abroad during my senior year of college, living in California for a year after I graduated, and, most recently, moving to the DC metro area. Because there wasn't anybody else in my life, it was easy to make those decisions and put them into action. (I do believe, of course, that it's possible to have a partner and not feel like you're being held back, but this is the option that has worked for me.)

What can you expect to see in future posts? I want this to be an exploration of many different things. For instance: Why do people choose to put off being in a relationship? Do happily-single women really read those books that offer suggestions for how to "land a man"? (Are the books as trite as I imagine them to be, or could I actually discover some useful information? What would be my reaction if I read one?) Is there such a thing as being "too picky"? What do you do when a friend decides they want to be more than friends?

Since I'm happily single, this won't be a sudden quest to make myself "un-single," nor will it be a series of wild single-girl exploits â€“ but it's possible that writing about this topic might inspire me to explore what I've been missing. What are my thoughts about online dating, for example? Other than a MySpace profile (which wasn't set up for that purpose), I've never used an online dating service.

If you have any feedback, or an idea for a topic that you'd like to see covered, don't hesitate to let me know. If you'd like to recommend a website (your own or somebody else's), please do so. (There have been two terrific examples of single life here on BlogHer recently: Sassymonkey's The New Single Woman, and Liz's I'm back in the single again.)

I'm thrilled to be a part of this dynamic community, and I look forward to your input.

Contributing Editor Zandria also blogs at Keep Up With Me. (She has recently written about weight and has started a list of 101 Things. You can find out more about her here.)

BlogHer - You can call me single...just don't call me desperate - Comments

welcome, Z!

Glad to have you, Zan!

You can call me single...just don't call me desperate