I am so proud of Karen

Erin Kotecki Vest — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 09:26:45 -0500

Just talking about it is huge! Which is why I will always talk about things of this nature. We need to know we are not alone. Some days, it is all that gets you through.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

oh AMEN Poppymom!

Mistress Of The Dorkness — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 22:43:21 -0500

I definitely feel for what you've written here, but, poppymom's post just screamed 'THAT WAS ME YESTERDAY MORNING!' I didn't want to get up, I was tired, I was cranky, my husband didn't do the errand I wanted him to do and then I get my little guy dressed and to school and I get into work just hoping to hide behind my desk for a nice quiet day of file cleaning, etc... AND THEN the transformer room under our ED started flooding because of a backed up pipe and I spent the rest of the day with the plant ops manager or the plumbing lead trying to track down the problem.

~pouting and trying to crawl back under the covers~ Of course, that wasn't the end of the things I didn't want to be in charge of yesterday... ~sigh~
Luckily I've got friends who understand and don't judge me... it's nice to let down my guard and my no-nonsense exterior for a few minutes at a time with people who will support me.

I need to give out some hugs, please excuse me. :-)

Melanie Perry
***not all who wander are lost***
http://mistressofthedorkness.blogspot.com

I love the New Yorker

cce — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 19:24:27 -0500

I love the New Yorker cartoon I read awhile back. Two Moms are sitting on a bench at the park watching their kids play. One sighs and says, "Don't they grow up so slow?"
I think we all need to feel okay about not loving EVERY moment of this mothering bit. A lot of people feel guilty if they indulge even a negative thought about their children, husband life, etc. You can love your children though you may not like them sometimes. Take heart mothers everywhere, this is an imperfect process.

I am woman hear more roar... but please remember to cut me some slack!

Jennifer Satterwhite — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 16:49:18 -0500

Becoming a mother did not somehow make me immune from bad days. It did, however, make others feel that I should be able to shove bad feelings aside and move along because, honey, there are kids to think about. Seriously? The thing with motherhood that makes it so tough for so many is that our job is 24/7, 365 days a year without vacation time. At times without help. Forever. Sometimes, life is going to be too tough. Sometimes we are going to have a really hard time. And sometimes, we just need a friend, a shoulder, a comment here or there that helps us to realize that, yes, this too shall pass, but that right now it does indeed suck. And that is normal. (Not going through rough patches is what is not normal.)

I know of what I speak. I certainly could not have gotten through the rough times in my life without the support of my friends. The ones who listen and don't judge. The girlfriends who hug you when you need a hug and kick you in the butt when you need that, too. Yet, we still have this tendency to hold back. Maybe to protect ourselves. Maybe to protect others. Whichever the case may be, we become detached from our pain. And that doesn't help anyone. At all.

Take the amazing Erin of Queen of Spain. She recently wrote something that hit me to the core of my being. My bet is that it completely resonates with many of you as well.

I have found myself detached lately. From friends, family, my husband, my children, my life. Nothing severeâ€¦but enough to make me take notice. I will not continue life this way. I will not fear owning up to my problems. Owning up to my crazy gene. Fine. Its there. It can make me powerful and it can make me weak. It can make me successful and it has nearly destroyed everything.

Some of us are kidding ourselves. Some of us are medicating ourselves. Some of us are self treating and some of us are destroying our lives.

It takes courage and more strength than some people can imagine to step out in trust when you are in a bad place. When you have something that you are holding in or have held in for a long time or that you have something that you just simply fear sharing, it is downright terrifying to open up and "show the crazy" because what if the people who are (or in my bet "appear to be") normal run for the hills.

Karen Rani of Troll Baby took enormous steps in ridding herself of some horrific demons. All she asked was that she not be judged. The support of women (and men) were overwhelming. Because we all have something. Some just hide it better. Karen was just too tired of hiding things that hurt.

Even with Daren, I hold back a lot of what Iâ€™m feeling because thatâ€™s how I roll. Iâ€™m afraid that if I puke up all the bad, he will run for the hills, screaming and flailing his arms in desperation. Letâ€™s face it, heâ€™s normal. He was raised by normal parents, in a normal home, with normal normal normal being spoon-fed to him and normal normal normal seeping from every pore. Weâ€™ve been married nine years this July, and I still feel as though Iâ€™m not good enough for him in all his royal normalcy...

So without holding back, Iâ€™m going to get into what I really really think. The following may be hard for my family to take, but I have to get this out or I may explode and never recover. So if youâ€™re someone who loves me, and/or someone in my family and you want to know what the fuck is wrong with me, lend me your ear and for Godâ€™s sake, donâ€™t judge me on this.

Karen, we don't judge you. We support the hell out of you. Personally, I think you are amazingly brave and strong.

And some days it is just the very act of one more day doing one more thing that you just don't want to do. One more day that you just want to be alone and have your coffee without dealing with the mundane bullshit that happens. We all have those days. Many of us are forced to put a smiling face on and pretend all is well even if we just want to crawl back in bed and NOT be the one who has to be in charge and make it all work out right. Just give us our coffee and go away.

Poppymom recently wrote about just that. Nothing traumatic. Nothing dramatic. Just a day that didn't start out well and for the love of all things tiring, she just wanted things to go smoothly. And really, is that too much to ask?

This morning didn't start out much better. I hate daylight savings times, plus I didn't sleep very well last night. As I staggered to my desk to test my blood sugar (which I have to do before I even have coffee, which is just mean and cruel. I feel like I'm bleeding for my coffee.), my cell phone started singing it's usual "If your happy and you know it turn the volume up and blow it out."

I know this: I wasn't happy. I was tired. I didn't want to talk on the phone or make myself bleed. I wanted, in this order, another two hours of sleep followed by a cup of coffee without bloodletting.

Just a normal day but a day that we just don't feel like being the one in charge or the one taking care of others. We just want our sleep and our coffee. (So to speak.)

As women and mothers, we will be there for you. We will mother our children to the best of our ability. We will show up for our jobs and do the best we can. We will be the best wife, mother, friend and worker that you could ask for, but can you please-- every now and then-- cut us some slack?

Support us. Love us. And to quote Karen, "lend [us] your ear and for Godâ€™s sake, donâ€™t judge [us]."

BlogHer Contributing Editor Jenn Satterwhite also blogs at Mommy Needs Coffee, Mommybloggers and Aggroqueen.

imsge courtesy of Medem

BlogHer - I am woman hear more roar... but please remember to cut me some slack! - Comments

I am so proud of Karen

oh AMEN Poppymom!

I love the New Yorker

I am woman hear more roar... but please remember to cut me some slack!