BlogHer - I Heart Text - Comments

Misconstruing the voice behind a text

alison n — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:40:37 -0500

I'm an avid texter - I love it. As a single Mum, novelist and journalist I have to admit (rather embarrassingly really), that to keep up with friends by text during busy times, is really a life line. Helps me remember that social life I used to have!

But there's a guy that I got together with a couple of years ago and it all began by text. His texts were lovely. Warm, funny and honest. And I really fell for him. We started dating and after a few months, one thing led to another and he moved in with me and my 2 boys - and everything was great. For a while. As I really got to know him his verbal communication skills left a whole lot to be desired. He was temperamental, aggressive and severely lacking in the ability to talk to me about the huge cracks that were forming in our relationship.

We had a horrendous break up - it really pushed me to the limit and I was devastated, but he revealed himself to be a cheat and an almost compulsive liar. But now, 3 years later, we have maintained a good friendship and he continues to text me. And once again - the texts are warm and loving and (read all above!!!), but when I talk to him on the phone it reminds me how easy it is to fall in love with someone based on their texted words - and how different the real person can be.

I think that when we read texts, we tend to read them in our own voice - we place relevance where we would have put it, which can be extremely misleading. Every time he texts me now I make sure to read his words in HIS voice.

And you know what?

They don't upset me half as much any more!

http://sophie-stayingsingle.blogspot.com

You bet!

Elisa Camahort — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 11:11:24 -0500

"The downside of using Reader is that I miss out on all the comments because Blogher doesn't have a comments feed. I do hope in the upcoming new version of Blogher there is going to be a comments feed... there IS going to be one, right?? ;-)"

Yup, big request from members, so big requirement for the redesign.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer and Worker Bees
elisa@blogher.org/elisa@workerbees.biz

Can you imagine mean texts?

Liz Rizzo — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 10:25:53 -0500

hehe - for some reason that strikes me as funny.

It be like, you're dancing in the club and you get a text - Back off, ho, he's mine! LOL

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess and On The Lot.

Re: Long time no see Bob!

bobafifi — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 07:29:15 -0500

> hope on a fabulous round-the-world vacation?

I wish I could say that's the reason! :-)

For what it's worth, I've actually been keeping up with the Blogher posts the last few months using Google Reader (http://www.google.com/reader/ ) instead of visiting the Blogher site because I find I like the Reader layout much better - and it's easier to read too. Anybody else?

The downside of using Reader is that I miss out on all the comments because Blogher doesn't have a comments feed. I do hope in the upcoming new version of Blogher there is going to be a comments feed... there IS going to be one, right?? ;-)

Thank Elisa,

-Bob
bobafifi.com

usedviolins.com

fluteplayer.net

p.s. I'm enjoying the latest podcasts! :-)

Learn to use T9

mobilejones — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 18:46:33 -0500

Hey Bob and anyone else,

Here's a site that will speed up your txting experience. No need to use abbrevs or short hand. And of course practice, practice, practice adds speed just as on a qwerty layout.

http://www.t9.com/learn/

Enjoy!

Debi Jones
Contributing Editor, Blogging and Social Media
Feed your mobile jones

I love getting texts, too.

Zandria — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:37:16 -0500

They're a great way to brighten my day (it probably helps that the texts I get are positive ones...I guess I might not feel so positively about them otherwise). :)

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
BlogHer blog: Life - Singles

I don't mind texts

HeatherB — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 09:44:15 -0500

For the reasons you listed. They're fun and it's a nice little thing to get during a boring day. But sometimes I want to have an actual conversation and I'm not typing out on the world's smallest keys a freaking novel. And if there's one thing that annoys me more than most anything, it is people who refuse to answer the phone but then listen to a voice message and then send a text back. I mean really, wtf is up with that?

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance

Not actually a skilled text-er.

Liz Rizzo — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 09:40:32 -0500

I definitely don't have that super fast, mega abbreviated texting going on. I'm typing it in at my own pace!

I do love predictive text, though. :)

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess and On The Lot.

Long time no see Bob!

Elisa Camahort — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 09:23:28 -0500

I was wondering where you've been...hope on a fabulous round-the-world vacation?

I only ever text because Lisa texts. I don't mind reading email and text on my little screen, but I am NOT dextrous with the typing...I find it agonizingly slow and make so many mistakes.

Elisa Camahort
BlogHer and Worker Bees
elisa@blogher.org/elisa@workerbees.biz

Re: I Heart Text

bobafifi — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 06:20:56 -0500

One of my contacts prefers to text message me than use the phone. She's got an entire vocabulary of truncated/abbreviated words that she uses and from the speed of her replies, seems to be very fast at composing her messages using the tiny phone typepad - I don't know how she does it - takes me an eternity.

Thanks Liz,

-Bob
bobafifi.com

usedviolins.com

fluteplayer.net

I Heart Text

Liz Rizzo — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 23:55:30 -0500

Man, do I love text messages. My work just got me a mobile phone, and I just about died for the few moments I thought the text messenging was somehow turned off. I emailed multiple people to text me. I was freaking out. My level of relief that the text messenging did indeed work bordered on embarrassing.

My last boyfriend didn't have a mobile phone, and I felt like a basic level of communication was missing. Not the calling - not being able to call him on his mobile was annoying, of course - but not being able to text was like having an arm cut off.

It's like getting a surprise poke - that vibrates and makes you giggle. It's a way to say: Hey, This is what's up. Or just: Thinking of you. Or, I'd imagine though I've never gotten this one: I love you. Or: I picked up the milk. Or: whatever. No big convo, just... poke, poke, vibrate, giggle. Text messages make you smile, from lovers and from friends.

Email, on the other hand, has gone downhill from what we thought it was going to be, hasn't it? Like, right off a cliff.

We thought it had the potential for great, romantic correspondence. The movie "You've Got Mail" has this innocent sense of emailing as romantic correspondence. Sitting down to type out a letter full of our thoughts and dreams. (I think we call that blogging now, and we share it with everyone.)

The email reality nowadays, unfortunately, is usually very different than we thought it was going to be. We get A LOT of mail. We use it all day at work. We (not including me) bring it with us on our Blackberries. We answer fast. We sometimes don't answer. And sometimes even an email you want to send has a level of unpleasant pressure.

You write, you hit send, and you wait.

A text message is light. Email can be heavy.

Sure, email brings us joys as well as annoyances, but for romance, I think the text message has it beat. Think I'm crazy? Try it; send a cute text today, and see how you feel when the reply comes back.

Poke, vibrate, giggle, smile. That's good stuff.

Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess and On The Lot.