BlogHer - Night Streetwalking is OK by Me - Comments

just be careful

Mata H — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 10:52:07 -0500

I agree that paranoia keeps us from learning when we travel --and I think it is key to step outside one's own familiar boundaries, or one misses sooooooo very much. I have wandered in Tokyo with my hotel's name and address on a piece of paper written in Japanese in case I got lost -- similar protections in Hong Kong, Marakesh, Kuala Lumpur, etc etc ... but in the last two places I did not go out alone at night because it was just plain silly. There are all sorts of alternatives when one is travelling alone -- meet fellow tourists and hang with them -- hire a guide -- leave nights for busy tourist spots -- just research before you go to make sure that a woman walking around alone at night is not sending a message that you cannot translate into your reality. I have a very brave friend who got raped in Cairo because she thought she was as safe at night alone wandering about as she would have been at home in NYC. So pardon my cluckingness, it comes from my heart. (end of mother hen bwaaawking)

Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

When I was in Italy with my

toledolefty — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 08:01:02 -0500

When I was in Italy with my mother and sisters, there were a few towns where we got some very leering looks for being a group of women together out at night with no man to "protect" us. But I do agree that it's about time that we gave up a little of this paranoia -- it's so limiting.

----
Jen
http://yawwblog.blogspot.com
http://angryfatgirlz.blogspot.com
http://toledolefty.blogspot.com

Walk, but Use Common Sense

Suzanne Reisman — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:40:53 -0500

If I gave the impression that women should just wander off anywhere, any time, I didn't mean to. And neither should men! Everyone should use common sense when they wander around, whether in their home town or across the globe. I do hope, however, that women don't fall pray to paranoia and cower in fear when we can be out having enriching experiences. I'm glad that I wasn't clear, though, because I loved reading your back-and-forth on this! Mata and Pam, you are the best!

Suzanne, BlogHer Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

Okay, Confidence and Education

Pam — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 09:29:21 -0500

Maybe? Though I have traveled safely in complete ignorance, good lord, what was I even DOING in Pakistan, not to mention dressed like that. My god. I shudder to think.

I do think there are places where tourists are a mark and that there are places one should not stray. I think we should listen to our instincts, which are so often right and we are so willing to ignore, when it comes to safety. The inner mother hen knows a thing or two. :)

But I also think getting lost in Venice is a reason to be alive. Getting lost in Karachi, on the other hand...

Nerd's Eye View

Pam

Mata H — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 09:02:39 -0500

Yep, confidence is key -- but I was very confident one night alone in the Zona Rosa area of Mexico City, a lively spot -- but I did not speak Spanish well, and without going into gory details, I was lucky that night and made it back to my hotel in one piece. And while Italy is a safe place, by and large -- it is easy to get lost in marginal areas of Venice, for example. The key is to stick to areas where you know tourists hang out at night -- save the bigger solo adventures for daylight if you must. Americans used to be a sort of protected species...but that was long ago.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

Traveling solo is all about confidence

Pam — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:48:26 -0500

I really think that's true. Sounds like you have no shortage of it. Plus, wow, don't the streets of Italy just come alive in the evenings? Places that are lively with other people are exactly where a traveler belongs!

Nerd's Eye View

well, yes and no

Mata H — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:43:27 -0500

I have traveled a lot alone, and I enjoy that "agendaless roaming" that you described -- happily wandering through a new place at your own pace, alone. But do be careful as a woman alone at night -- especially in countries where you do not speak the language. What makes you or me feel OK in NYC at midnight has a lot to do with our knowing the culture and both the city and the language. While being a woman alone at night sends only innocuous messages in NY, in some other countries it sends a whole different cultural message. In some countries, "good women" are not alone at night -- but sexually available women for hire, are. Just do your research before traveling so that you understand the message that you may be sending if you are alone at night. Learn some emergency phrases like "HELP!" What can happen in a strange city is that before you know it you can be in a very dicey area with some very unpleasant people. I say this from experience. It is not sensible to cower in fear -- but it is realistic to plan for being careful at night, or not alone at night if you do not know the city or the language or the local assumptions. I know this sounds awfully mother-hennish, but "bwaaaaawk bwawwwwk" I can't help myself.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

Night Streetwalking is OK by Me

Suzanne Reisman — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 22:41:56 -0500

I spent the last nine days â€œwithâ€ my husband in Italy. He was there was for business and I was lucky enough to tag along. While he spent his days at conferences or meetings, I wandered around Florence, Milan, and Rome, armed only with a map and a little book of Italian phrases that never seemed to have any of the words that I needed. (Like, â€œWatch where you are going, you asshole on a scooter who nearly ran me over when you blew through the red light!â€) It was a little bit lonely exploring a city with no one to talk to, but incredibly liberating in many ways. I could see and do what I wanted, at whatever pace I wanted, when I wanted to. Iâ€™ve never traveled like that before.

In Rome, I signed up for a walking tour of the former Jewish ghetto. Another American couple joined me, and we chatted for a while. They were about my parentsâ€™ age, and very concerned about me, especially the husband.

â€œYou canâ€™t walk around at night alone!â€ he insisted when I mentioned that my husband had a dinner meeting. â€œYou are a woman, and this is a big city. Itâ€™s not safe. All big cities are dangerous at night.â€

â€œOh, Iâ€™ll be fine,â€ I said, trying to reassure him, but at the same time annoyed by his attitude. I live in New York and wander around by myself at all hours. Iâ€™ve even been on the subway alone after midnight. What does he think we ladies should do, lock ourselves up and hide from the world every time the sun sets?

He shook his head. â€œItâ€™s not safe for women.â€

Ironically, on the flight to Italy, I read an article in Bitch magazine about how rumors and misused statistics on crime create paranoid and irrational fears in women that prevent us from fully participating in the world at large. It turns out that most women are in fact attacked at home.

If I took this well-meaning manâ€™s advice, Iâ€™d be sitting alone in my hotel room every evening, waiting for my husband to escort me to dinner. Or, worse, I might not have come to Italy at all, knowing that Iâ€™d be spending most of my time there alone. Living life involves taking some risks. It also means understanding what real risks are and making sensible decisions.

I canâ€™t wait until I go away with my husband again. I hope that he will not be working and we can spend time walking around, eating, and sharing a city together. But if heâ€™s working, Iâ€™ll savor the time I have to go out and do things on my own. I wonâ€™t hide in fear.

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants and is currently on a road trip with a (female) friend