BlogHer - Is the happy pregnant lady a myth? - Comments

i experienced antepartum depression with both pregnancies

laurie — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 22:20:32 -0500

My spouse swears that after my youngest was born (after establishing his sex and his health) my first words were, "I am so happy not to be pregnant any more!"

I found pregnancy very, very hard. I felt physically lousy and the depression was crushing. And, of course I felt guilt and shame, comparing myself to women who seemed to cope, even flourish during their pregnancies.

I wish I'd known then how common my experience was.

Thankfully, the fog lifted quickly after each of my sons was born and I did not experience ppd.

laurie
www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com

It's not make you feel better

Nordette — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:13:21 -0500

I think some people tell us we look good whenwe like crap to be kind. Others say it out of habit, and some say it to make themselves feel better when faced contradictions in their belief system such as pregnant women are always joyful. However, you probably do actually look better than you think you do because when we're depressed, grumpy, or just the common sad, we perceive ourselves differently.

Still, I know what you mean. It's tiring to to put on a happy face or put on make-up and nicer clothes to make others feel more comfortable.

Glad to know you did not experience PPD with your second child.

Thank you for commenting. BTW, I like the title of your blog Crunchy Carpets. :-)

Nordette

"Love is liquid. Brew and be drunkards!" ~~Nordette. And here's a link to the blog.

pregnancy expectations...

Crunchy Carpets — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 11:57:13 -0500

While is suffered PPD with my first I was ok with my second. Phew.
And pregancy was ok.

What gets me is the pressure to be happy and glowing throughout your pregnancy.

I feel like crap right now. And yet the response is 'well you look great.'

So what? Am I supposed to suck it up just because in YOUR eyes I LOOK good!?

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

Great Unexpectations,Strange too

Nordette — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:56:10 -0500

You know, my daughter and I were discussing this yesterday. I'm not sure why society expects all pregnant women to be happy and never clinically depressed. Perhaps it's another myth projected onto women by men, or maybe it's attached to old concepts that bearing children to a husband equals material security; so, you should be happy.

I really thing that PPD is nothing new and antepartum depression has probably been around for as long as women have been having babies, but women were afraid to admit or didn't recognize the symptoms of depression.

Thank you, Karen.

"Love is liquid. Brew and be drunkards!" ~~Nordette. And here's a link to the blog.

I experienced depression

Deaf Mom — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 19:06:38 -0500

I experienced depression during the end of my second pregnancy, only I didn't know it. I just assumed I was feeling overwhelmed and down because we were in the process of moving and living with in-laws. Top it off with a failed VBAC-- and I ended up with PPD. The doc chalked it up to the "baby blues" and refused to treat with drugs. It took several months and a therapy support group to work through the depression.
Karen
"Life is too short to pout all the time."
A Deaf Mom Shares Her World
Hands & Voices

Is the happy pregnant lady a myth?

Nordette — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 23:49:58 -0500

Over at The Boston Globe, documentary filmmaker and writer Jody Santos shares her experience with antepartum depression. Have you heard of that, pregnant women experiencing depression despite wanting the baby? Santos calls it “the pregnancy taboo,” and early in her article she observes that many people already know about postpartum depression (PPD), but few know about antepartum depression.

Santos credits Brooke Shields with making people more aware of PPD. I agree. Shields has had a significant impact. She wrote a book about her PPD in 2005 and later faced judgmental comments from Tom Cruise. Cruise apologized for his insensitivity two days ago. And as Santos and BlogHer Contributing Editor Jenn Satterwhite point out, Shields even testified before Congress this May about the illness. (Maybe all those men listening to Shields helped Cruise see the error of his ways.)

I can add to the list of those talking openly about PPD writers like Katherine Stone, who blogs about the ins and outs of PPD and progress in "the treatment and comfort" PPD. Also, ClickOnDetroit.com posted a recent article about a one mother who reaches out to mothers with postpartum depression. I even have a story about my own PPD experience. I went through PPD sixteen years ago before people talked about it as often.

That’s part of the point in Jody Santos’ article. Today people talk about PPD more often, and so, we know more about PPD than we do about antepartum depression, which is an equally devastating illness, says Santos. She also says that women are ashamed to speak up about their experiences with antepartum depression because society likes the image of happy, joyful, pregnant women:

… Antepartum depression, which occurs during, not after, pregnancy, is a kind of orphan disease in the media, with few celebrities willing to adopt it as a cause. … It's as if most people can accept a mother who becomes depressed after giving birth, when the reality of caring for a newborn sets in. However, in this "post-feminist" world of family values, it seems far too taboo to dissect feelings women may have about being pregnant in the first place. As a result, depressed pregnant women often stay silent, putting themselves and their babies at risk. (The Pregnancy Taboo, emphasis added)

The article moves on to a study indicating one in five women experience antepartum depression. If that study is valid, then more of us have pregnant friends, relatives, and neighbors experiencing this type of depression than we know. Do you know of anyone who's experienced antepartum depression, or is that fifth woman be you?

You can learn more about antepartum depression at this link. In addition, WebMD has an informative article called "8 Myths About Depression," which debunks myths but also has warnings about taking antidepressants while pregnant.

Nordette Adams is a BlogHer Contributing Editor.