Debra, I could almost hear

Dana J. Tuszke — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 08:15:58 -0500

Debra, I could almost hear your voice as I was reading your answers! You gave some great advice!

And, my grandparents were children of the Depression, too. My grandma saved everything, and she passed that illness onto my mother who is an extreme packrat.

In fact, she has oodles of yarn in her basement that she is never going to use. She's just a tad crazy!

Gremlin!

Denise — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 07:32:15 -0500

OK I know I'm veering off topic but it is rare to find someone who mentions a Gremlin! My father tried to teach me to drive on his - he was not successful. That car is the butt of so many family jokes but they are fond family jokes!

OK back to money talking.

~Denise
Fast Times @ Homeschool High & Flamingo House Happenings

Ten Money Questions for Debra Roby

Nina Smith — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 07:16:28 -0500

In this week’s Ten Money Questions, we speak with Debra Roby. Debra is the Contributing Editor at BlogHer for Hobbies, Crafts & DIY. She maintains two personal blogs called A Stitch in Time and Deb’s Daily Distraction. I met Debra in Chicago at BlogHer and she was a fun surprise. Below, she is candid about her past, passionate about her crafts and answers these money questions with meaning and great thought. Enjoy!

1. It is rumored that you have an extravagant fabric collection. When you’re passionate about a hobby is it hard to strike a balance between the fixation and dollar amount it consumes?
That rumor is false!! My stash is elegant, organized by theme, and a true snapshot of the color trends from the past 25 years.

That said, I’ve found that early in a hobby obsession, it’s quite easy to fixate on accumulation. For the fiber hobby-ist, each new item is a Christmas-day-present with shiny-bow wrapping. We see something new and different and believe that we must possess it to feed our creative souls. Additionally, many of the mailing lists, discussion boards and blogs “give permission” to others to indulge in retail therapy.

Too often, we later pick up 2 yards of something up and ask: What was I thinking when I spent $20 on this?? It gets donated to a guild’s charity, sold at a garage sale, or put up on EBay for a fraction of its original value.

I think the balance between “having enough to be creative” and “having everything new and shiny” is one of the most difficult disciplines in any hobby. Knowing when bigger isn’t better, when more is too much, and when you are feeding a need in yourself that has nothing to do with your passion is a major step to controlling the impulse to be that person who “dies with the most and wins.”

2. What is your most significant memory about money?
It was a Friday in late winter during the Carter administration’s gas embargo. I was working-to-survive and living on my own; underpaid, and barely getting by. I lived on chicken (twenty-five cents/pound), powdered milk, home-made bread and peanut butter. Fresh fruits and veggies from the mark-down sales only. My autonomy was important but came at a price.

I had waited in line to get a couple dollars worth of gas for my AMC Gremlin, trying to figure out how I would be able to join my friends downtown at a bar that night. I didn’t have the cash for the door and one glass of beer, but I craved some social contact and distraction from my life. Going meant sanity; staying home meant defeat on some level. I was too proud to call a friend and ask them to treat me. Again.

I reached the head of the line and was directed to a pump. When I stepped out of my car, a $20 bill froze to the bottom of my shoe. I took it as a sign. First I filled up my gas tank (almost $10 at that time) and used the rest of the money to see friends and restore my soul. I think I even went out to breakfast with them.

I still wonder about the person who lost that bill. Did he/she need it as much as I did? Did their loss ruin their weekend? Did I completely waste the found cash?

That simple experience informs a lot of my giving now. I do truly random acts of kindness (pay for a box of animal crackers, then ask the cashier to give it to the next fussy child in her line) and choose to give to charities that make small gifts that can dramatically change lives instead of feeding the larger charities.

In many ways, that $20 bill changed my life.

3. What is your worst habit around finances?
I’ll admit it. Since I started banking online and can check my balance plus all ins and outs daily, I don’t balance my checkbook anymore. I don’t even keep a separate check register. But, I almost never write a check either. My bills are paid online, paychecks are direct deposited, I know when the spouse withdraws some cash before he remembers to give me his receipt. Anything suspicious in our accounts is checked by a phone call. I’m not convinced that the practice would be anything more than a waste of time and paper.

4. On Deb’s Daily Distraction, you’re tracking your weight loss in the Tale of the Scale series. There are many parallels between dieting and personal finances. If you consume too many calories then you’re in trouble. Eat less, and you’ll be fine. Do you think the same approach applies to money management?
To some degree, yes. Both areas are all about balance and commitment.

When it comes to spending, if you spend more than you bring home, you’re in trouble. Spend less than you earn and you should be fine. Save at the expense of living however will lead to a dull, unhappy existence, just as a too-restrictive eating plan might lead to illness.

The most important factor in my weight loss success, however, has been the commitment to work at it every day. To track both my calories and activity levels. Likewise, the most important factor in my financial success is again knowing what is coming in, what is going out and how my investments are doing. I check on my bank account almost daily; and my investment account at least once a week. I rebalance my portfolio quarterly to keep it on track. Again, it’s the commitment to work toward a financially secure future every day.

5. Knitting seems to be all the rage at the moment. Can you give three tips for people trying to knit and stay on a budget? (You know, those hobbies can get out of hand!)
Sure.

#1. Find a set/type of needle that you love and ask for/purchase a reasonable set size for yourself. Then, I only use circular needles as they fit my hands well and adapt to many projects. And I find I love both the Clover bamboo for larger yarns, and the Knit-Picks steel for almost everything. By choosing to limit my tools to those I truly love to work with, I maximize my investment and enjoyment.

#2. Don’t buy cheap yarn except for cheap projects. If you’re putting your time into a project, respect yourself enough to spend a little more money and get something you will love the feel and look of. Buying better yarn will make the process more enjoyable.

#3. Have an idea how you will use your yarn, and buy enough. Don’t find a skein of something wonderful and figure that you’ll find the perfect purpose for it later. You might, and goodness knows there are enough books appearing about how to use one skein of yarn, that you now have a chance. But if you think that skein would make a heavenly stole or the best sweater for MIL, then talk to the sales clerk about a likely quantity and make sure you purchase enough for the project.

Doing an internet search for one skein of yarn five months later in a specific dye lot? Harrassing Ebay Sellers for not listing lot numbers or measuring yards or grams? Not a fun way to spend a Saturday night. (No, I am NOT talking from experience here. Why do you ask??)

I’ve taught several of the BlogHers to knit and broke these first 2 rules with their first lesson. I didn’t want them spending much if they weren’t interested in continuing the hobby. That is the one and only exception I make to this rule. However, I also told them to return to a local yarn store, play with yarns and needles (and even brought some of my own) and continue their journeys that way.

6. You’ve shared on your blog that you grew up in a verbally abusive home. What role did money play in your relationship with your parents?
Ah. First understand my parents were children during the Great Depression. That decade altered everyone who lived through it. For my father, it meant that he judged every activity by what it cost or what it earned. I was well into adulthood before I realized that not everyone looks at life this way. While this is still a part of me (I fight it all the time…), there is a larger money issue that impacted me because of the abuse. It’s something that I believe affects a huge number of women:

I do not value my own worth.

I have always been under-employed or unemployed. I cannot to this day write a good resume for myself. I cannot ask for what I likely deserve to earn. I cannot believe that anyone would pay what I am probably worth. Or hire me to do what I am skilled at doing.

Because my parents always made clear that I was worthless, I do not trust those who now tell me differently. And this has cost me more than I care to imagine financially.

7. We all know that you love your dogs. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever purchased for them?
Hmm. Craziest? Or most practical? It fits both categories. I bought my VW Passat station wagon because of our one dog.

Katy, is an orthopedic dog: she’s had both knees surgically repaired and has hip dysplasia on both sides, so getting in and out of the back of many vehicles is a challenge for her. When I knew I was replacing my sedan for a pupmobile the most important criteria was a very low rear entry just for Katy. We have a dog ramp, but those are simply too hard to carry all the time in a vehicle; they take up a whole seat! I wanted to make transporting her simple. I diligently searched for the best car for me with the lowest rear-entry point. I dismissed mini-vans because, hello?? One woman and two dogs?? Just. Not.Logical. I ended up choosing one of the two station wagons that worked.

But, yeah, I bought my car for the dogs. And donated the old one to ARF.

8. Do you and your husband see eye-to-eye on money?
No. My husband’s parents were older when they adopted him; he acts more like a child of the Depression than my 2nd generation soul. He’s completely allergic to debt of any kind (including good debt), and tends to look at costs through a Cost-of-Living lens that is at least 5 years behind the time. Maybe 20. Fortunately, I control our finances and get final veto power on all actions (like taking all of our money out of savings to pay off a home equity loan. Insane I tell you!!)

9. What’s your view on women that start businesses based on their hobby? Do you think they have a better chance of success because they’re doing something they love?
I think if I woman does not have an overwhelming desire to be a businesswoman FIRST, her business stands a great chance of failing within the first 3 years. Many hobbyists don’t realize that the time they need to build and maintain a business takes away from their time for both the activity they love and anything else in their life. They stop being able to do what they love. That’s one reason why I can dream about my ideal retail outlet and let it remain a dream.

10. If you could buy one thing right now what would it be?
A professional organizer to help me go through everything in my workspace and ruthlessly eliminate the things I will never use, find the best way to redistribute my cast-offs, then redesign the small space to be it’s most efficient.

Or a serger. Or a new rotary cutting mat. Or a dye/painting table which will never fit in the room. More thread? More yarn?

More about Debra Roby
Debra Roby is a 54 year old “jill of all trades” who has worked in education, publishing, consulting and industry while keeping sane with crafting in her free time.

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Read other interviews in Nina’s Ten Money Questions series at Queercents.

BlogHer - Ten Money Questions for Debra Roby - Comments

Debra, I could almost hear

Gremlin!

Ten Money Questions for Debra Roby