Parental Paranoia: Are you a scaredy mom or dad?

Nordette — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:44:15 -0500

Americans in general have had fear, spectres of terrorists and safety threats, shoved down their throats for a while now, everything from potentially imminent bombings to a possible Avian Flu pandemic. However New York Post columnist John Podhoretz ponders that young parents in particular are bombarded with potential threats to their children's safety and health, threats that may not deserve great concern. Parents get "way too much scary news," says Podhoretz.

Reports about these possible hazards represent a new kind of voyeuristic bad news. It used to be said, "if it bleeds, it leads." In other words, acts of violence were news. ... Now the mere threat of potential injury to children is news - because parental anxiety gives such stories exactly the kind of addictive kick that the news business desperately wants to generate in its audience. ... And then there is the fact that even a skeptical and relatively new parent like me can't just dismiss these worries out of hand, the way I did before I had kids. (John Podhoretz)

He calls it "the parent trap," a state in which parents feel the need to act even when a threat to their children may not be probable:

It's the parental equivalent of Dick Cheney's "1 percent rule" as regards terrorism - that we need to treat a threat with a 1 percent likelihood of success as though it were a certainty. ... So you can hang the same sign around my neck that hangs around the neck of every parent with healthy children who possess every advantage known to man - the sign that says, "Scare me." (Podhoretz)

He cites the recent scare about lead in Mattel toys made in China and the bisphenol A baby bottle scare. However he also reminds readers that parents today don't face the kinds of sanity-shaking threats parents faced in the 20th Century like the polio epidemic or the spread of tuberculosis.

Podhoretz says crime is down, businesses are much more parent-child friendly, and that there are more products on the market to help with parenting than ever before. Nevertheless, "without question, American parents are feeling these days as though their children are living not in a time of great abundance but in a time of peril," he writes.

Indeed, I checked out multiple blogs today and found posts reflecting parental anxiety:

At the blog "The Wee Sheep," the blogger, who by the way appears to be an excellent knitter, takes a break for ""Things on My Mind." In that posts she shares her concerns about the Mattel China recall, the baby bottle scare, and plastics polluting space. Part of her concern is for the environment, and I understand her concerns.
John at John's Thoughts, a father of five, acknowledges the China lead recall, but also asks What about the other dangers to our children? He mentions video games, CDs, and the revealing clothes on the market for youth as some of the other dangers.
KC in Washington D.C. talks in her blog about a night when she stayed awake "battling (her) own worst fears" because she heard about a 3-year-old abducted in Portugal and thought that the same thing could happen to her family.
A post at Chicago Moms Blog discusses the baby bottle scare; however, the blogger tries to evaluate the seriousness of the threat.

I remember being a young parent. It's not unusual to carry fears for your child with you wherever you go. Fearing for your child's safety pricks older parents as well. However, young or mature, some of us worry too much.

A Parents' Magazine article describes unhealthy worry-itis:

Worry is part of the dark underbelly of parenthood, the flip side of joy, pride, and fulfillment. ... But excessive worrying is akin to a car alarm that won't shut off — you get stuck on dangers long past any chance you have to take preventive action. If your child's about to go on a school field trip and you're wary of her riding the bus, the time to fret is beforehand. Then you may decide to drive yourself. But once she's gotten on the bus, worrying won't do any good at all. (Parenting.com)

I suspect worrying is right up there with mommy guilt. In fact, I think my first post as a Blogher Contributing Editor related to worry: Mothering Against the Odds. Perhaps the ending of that post would work for this post also, but a quote from Mark Twain may serve you with a smile: "I’ve seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true."

Do the math. How often are the threats that worry you a clear and present danger that materializes in your llife? Your answer may not stop you from worrying in the future, but it may help you sleep better at night.

Nordette Adams is a Contributing Editor at BlogHer.org.

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Parental Paranoia: Are you a scaredy mom or dad?