BlogHer - What are you doing here, anyway? Doesn't the "real world" beckon? - Comments

I feel that way. I hate to

kperfetto — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 12:19:29 -0500

I feel that way. I hate to bring up the mommy bloggers, but a single, childless, 30-something woman writing a "personal" blog is pretty niche-less. I have more in common with someone my age with two kids than a 20-year-old, but I don't always feel my comments are welcome. It's not a direct thing, but I see some newer bloggers getting an automatic "in" because they're parents.

One more thing about Leahpeah's post and I'll shut up about it. On a much smaller scale, I noticed a drop in traffic after I wrote a post (on my now-defunct site, five dollar camera ) about finding the "skinny bitch" "anorexic bitch" sentiment on other sites offensive. I really, really needed to say it, even if I lost a few readers. (And I can count mine on one hand, so yes, I did.) I didn't name names, but I'm sure a couple people saw themselves in it. I often feel like I have this thing in which I can fully express myself, but I can't, really. So much for the freedom of the internet. The key is, I guess, developing a thick enough skin.

Available Light & Five Dollar Radio

A 2.0 2.0 proposal

Laura Scott — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 14:44:38 -0500

Let's leave the release numbers behind.

Laura Scott
BlogHer Contributing Editor for Technology & Web
design, snap, blog

Thanks, Debra. It's like

Laura Scott — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 14:43:16 -0500

Thanks, Debra. It's like we're all on a kind of rush 2.0, connecting like crazy, like we're trying to get off or something. The big rush after decades of silence in the one-way media world. It certainly is an interesting ride, especially since I, for one, have no real idea where we're going, and am a bit skeptical of the predictions by pudits and a-listers.

Laura Scott
BlogHer Contributing Editor for Technology & Web
design, snap, blog

Interesting Debra

alyssaroyse — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 11:18:19 -0500

Needless to say, I spend a lot of time looking at user behavior online, and specifically in social networking environments. And what you are saying is right on - typically, there will be a lot of hub bub and excitement when one first joins, and then profiles will be left to languish for months at a time. Indeed, if you go to Tribe.net, you'll see that a lot of profiles were updated 2 years ago and haven't been touched since.

Personally, I think it's a question of intimacy - real or perceived. When you first join, it's all exciting, you can share, people can meet you and you have a sense of really being part of something. Slowly, all the connections, clubs, apps become sort of overwhelming, kind of a high-maintenance friend... And eventually you realize that you aren't' accomplishing anything at all, and you stop using it. You are not alone, this is how it typically goes when these sites try to be all things to all people..... Lots of variety, little depth.

if you look at the success of something like BlogHer, it's a clear contrast. BlogHer has one mission, and it serves that mission. A place for women to hear and be heard. That's it. No fancy apps. No gee-whiz technology - and as a result their users actually feel engaged in something.

That's the idea behind out site too. We're wagering that although the connection feels good, users, ultimately, have to feel like there us a REASON to be there. Something to learn, hear, see, feel and contribute. I think that Web 2.0 is turning into Web O-2-Much..... and 3>0 will be much more about user generated change in our real lives.....

BlogHer is a perfect example of this. Sometimes, less is more.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

Laura, this is a great post

debra roby — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 09:30:29 -0500

Ya know, I always feel silly writing such a simple comment. Like I should be contributing something much more to the conversation. But my first reaction was that this is a complete gem. Could I add any value to it?

Maybe.

On Facebook, I've chosen to ignore many of the silly apps., trimming down some of the apps I've already added. And I find that I spend very little time on Facebook anymore except for my Scrabulous addiction there. If I could find another way to play private games with my friends (apparently not an option on their website), I might leave Facebook altogether.

I joined LinkedIn, but haven't worked on my page there, yet. A bit uncertain about it's value, but willing to see.

Twitter is my coffee-room. Since I spend so much time alone, I see this as the equivalent of a break room, coffee klatch, neighborhood cafe. It's where I go for a few minutes to have some semblance of human communication. It's not a sufficient replacement for the real world but it works in a pinch.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

Old timers and newbies

Laura Scott — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 09:00:51 -0500

Even before you get your membership plaque and secret decoder ring, you get to be lumped in with the millions of other people online, as one of "those bloggers". The nice thing about the internet is that you can find and make your own circles, without needing to get permission. Me, I enjoy my blogging obscurity. I feel freer to rant there without offending anybody -- that is, when I get offensive, which I don't think is that often .. I hope. That does mirror my real life, where I can end up alone in the middle of a party. I'm not good at starting conversations and I'm terribly shy by nature.

Laura Scott
BlogHer Contributing Editor for Technology & Web
design, snap, blog

Wow! Thanks, ClizBiz! I'm

Laura Scott — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 08:51:01 -0500

Wow! Thanks, ClizBiz! I'm still trying to figure this out. I'm not sure I'm up to writing a book on that ... but maybe a chapter! ha! Of course, that would entail more opportunities for toe stubbing in both worlds.

Laura Scott
BlogHer Contributing Editor for Technology & Web
design, snap, blog

I feel the same way.

Laura Scott — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 08:47:39 -0500

I feel the same way. Sometimes even the empty-sounding condolence or sentiment, though, can bring comfort. Sometimes we just want to be heard.

Laura Scott
BlogHer Contributing Editor for Technology & Web
design, snap, blog

All alone

moddivorce — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:31:45 -0500

As close knit as the blogging community is, sometimes it's challenging to break into conversations...or I should say, old time bloggers don't always respond to newbies...making the blogging world seem a bit of a secret club ;(

As to the Internet fading - don't think so - I just think some of the initial fanfare has died down.

Helene
http://themodernwomansdivorceguide.com/blog

Here's me touching you now, hold still

ClizBiz — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:06:01 -0500

I loved this post, so relevant. In fact, I'm pretty sure you could publish a book on this topic, Laura. From my personal experience, I have to say that the blogging online world literally saved my sanity.

After I'd moved to Denver for a boy who dumped me immediately, I had nowhere to turn. So I blogged about it. The local Denver blogging community - I'm still not sure how they found me - reached out to me almost immediately. "So, it looks like you could use a drink?" they said in an email and it was like manna from heaven. Truly, it felt like a lifesaver.

From there I went on to make new friends and my closes pals here in my new town came from the blogging community. Sure, we still read each other's blogs but the FTF is crucial for me.

As for the Facebook, LinkedIn habit of connecting with 'friends' who are not really your friends, I find it creepy. If I see their name and a face doesn't pop into my head immediately, I obviously don't know them that well and usually ignore the invite.

I believe it is possible to stay 'connected' while retaining some vital curmudgeon ways - this is my philosophy. A toast to Toe Stubbing in the Real World! Huzzah!

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Photography
Proprietor, ClizBiz

Wanted to add

kperfetto — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 12:02:47 -0500

When a blogger writes a heartfelt, vulnerable post, sometimes I have no idea how to reply to it without saying something cliched or cheesy like, "Just hang in there, you'll get through it." I hate when people say those things to me, so I don't say anything, even though I want to. ("That sucks," is succinct, but probably not appropriate unless you're close to the person.)

Available Light & Five Dollar Radio

I read (and commented on)

kperfetto — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:51:14 -0500

I read (and commented on) Leahpeah's post the other day, and it's sad she saw her readership drop off after what I thought was an incredibly brave and vulnerable post.

Most of my online relationships are just that, online. (Out of geographic necessity, usually. I'd like to meet more people I only know online.) Though to be quite honest, I had this discussion a while back with an online buddy: how well do you know someone anyway? I mean, we can filter ourselves online, only showing the parts we wish to show, but (buddy's theory) don't we do that anyway in real life anyway? I have to disagree. There are so many things you can't hide face-to-face, (I'm fairly socially awkward, I'm pretty sure I'd be a disappointment to some.)

I don't use things like LinkedIn or Facebook, so all my social networking has been on "fun" (not work) side of things. But if someone were to "discover" me through my Flickr page, I'm cool with that.

Available Light & Five Dollar Radio

What are you doing here, anyway? Doesn't the "real world" beckon?

Laura Scott — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:37:27 -0500

You read this blog. You Twitter away. Aside from taking up time, does it have any impact on your day? How many of your Facebook "friends" have you actually even met? Do your LinkedIn connections actually connect to your carreer? How do "the bloggers" (as television and newspaper pundits like to describe participants in a medium alien to their own) have any realistic connection to your real life?

Yes, real life. You know, the life where you get hungry and stub your toe and, you know, talk to people. Do your online life and "real" life connect at any time but in those oh-so-brief liminal moments when you shift from one to the other?

Be honest now.

How real is the virtual? Maybe, just maybe, you're wondering: What's the point? Don't you, just a little bit, feel a little bit like Kara Swisher when she wonders this about Facebook's gaggle of apparently pointless apps:

While I will admit when I am not chewing nails that a lot of these apps are somewhat fun, I can’t help but ask myself that lyric from the old Peggy Lee classic: “Is that all there is?”

And if that is all there is, can Facebook really build a viable and long-lasting business on what is essentially a bunch of games that will ultimately become wearying for users? Doesn’t it need more robust apps that actually are useful and relevant and make Facebook the service that Zuckerberg has often told me was a “utility”?

While Facebook–with a cleaner and more strict look and a better navigation–is surely less goofy than rival MySpace for anyone over 12 years old, and its video, photo and email features are nice, the vast majority of its apps are still mostly as dumb as a box of hammers.

Yeah. Dumb. In fact, Molly Holschlag wonders if this whole web thing might be tanking.

I feel there’s a major shift in our industry. It concerns me so I want to chat about it with you.

The latest Dot.Com boom is declining as far as I can tell. Are we on the edge of another Dot.Bomb? What do we do?

I think not, personally. But maybe that's just me. Yet there's no doubt this tech/social/media/2.0 thing has been buzzing for a while. Perhaps you've been following things like the iPhone fetishes and the rubbernecking over the supposed Facebook/LinkedIn face-off.

Is that reflective of your real life, all that tech stuff? Some would say so. Take Jackie Danacki:

There’s something liberating about the micro-blogging format (and the fact that my updates are visible only to those I allow to see them). I also get into conversations via Twitter that I otherwise would not, with people I otherwise don’t email or talk to on the phone very often.

One thing is for sure: The real world is certainly paying attention to your online attention. And it won't hesitate to sue you just for stating your opinion.

When you consider that, it's almost funny what Tara "Twitter", aka Tara Hunt, notes about the California government's take on the virtual world and the real world:

Stuff like using open to the public Google Groups to correspond between project stakeholders (allowing for citizens to join in and comment and contribute, and, at the very least, lurk), wikis to lay out project plans, forums and blogs to start conversations and thoughts and ask people’s opinions of different ideas floating through the heads of officials, etc. None of this is allowed in California.

Odd, I thought, so I trotted off to see what this Brown Act is all about. What I encountered was shocking to me:

The Brown Act, officially known as the Ralph M. Brown Act (California Government Code Sections 54950-54963), authored by Ralph M. Brown, an Assemblyman from Los Angeles County’s San Gabriel Valley, was enacted in 1953 by the California State Legislature in an effort to safeguard the public’s right to access and participate in government meetings within the State.

There's no doubt that the web's own reality is impacting business. As reported and made relevant to my own personal life by Jackie's linking post:

Since killing off its idiotic subscription service, TimesSelect, the New York Times has seen traffic to its Opinion section double and overall website traffic grow 10 percent.

Well duh!

And the truth behind that little factoid is that web reality is not enough. Forcing people to fork over bucks (in the form of awkward online payment forms, no less) to access your content is not going to make your content more relevant to people's real lives. Really. It's rather obvious. (Oh, and the Times has some web-related positions they're trying to fill, too.)

On the other hand, well, whether it's about contraception or the national debt or assumptions about gender differences, I personally cannot but help believe that the web is a heckuva lot more relevant to my life than, say, the television or the newspaper.

Krisine Lowe blogs about an instance when she sensed the same thing:

Perhaps it's wrong to call it citizen journalism, perhaps 'eyewitness reports' is a better term. It's certainly not live blogging as I once phrased it, but with the way international media covered the recent events in Burma, it's clearer and clearer that eyewitness reports are starting to play a bigger and bigger role in mainstream media coverage.

Something is shifting: for me, as for others, Virginia Tech marked the first time eyewitness reports reached me much before I tuned in to mainstream media.

So when I heard about the unrest in Burma, blogs and social networks seemed like the obvious first place to start looking for news of what really was going on.

And yet, and yet....

Sometimes the web and real life are just alike, but in parallel -- seeming to never touch, seeming to always be disconnected. leahpeah has noticed a decline in readership since she started writing about topics uncomfortable in either world:

A few months ago, someone I follow online wrote on Twitter that they were considering suicide. I immediately unfriended them on Twitter. I didn’t even think about it. I think it was a physical/mental reaction to The Crazy. I wanted to be a little more removed from it. Especially as I was feeling myself getting sucked down as it was, all on my own. I didn’t feel strong enough to help someone else so I removed the relationship. I still read this person’s blog, however, because I didn’t want to lose contact all together.

I bring this up because I’ve noticed that since that post, approximately half my daily visitors have left, about a third of my daily subscribers have dropped me and I’ve had only 2 advertisers. I’m not shocked. I’m just noticing.

I suppose it’s not much different than when you walk down the sidewalk in the city, busy going someplace from someplace and you see that homeless person asking for change or the couple loudly fighting or the parent yanking their kid too hard by the arm - you just keep walking and look the other way, quickly considering whether you would be better served crossing the street to get by them or if you just plow ahead, eyes looking straight. You might even wonder for a split second if there is possibly something you could do or say that might help the situation but in the same second decide no, there really probably isn’t. You’re just going to have to feel uncomfortable for as long as you are around that element.

Perhaps this is a tragic way in which the web and real life are connected? Not so fast.

The web brings us so much closer together but I don’t know if anything has really changed. We’re a few keystrokes away but just as far emotionally if we want or need to be. It was sad to see some people that I considered friends drop me from friend lists but I can totally understand it. Now that the initial sting has worn off, I’m not pining away for the readers who left Leahpeah any more than I’m beating myself up for writing what I wrote. It happened. And that’s pretty much it. I have to use this medium to write what I need to write. Otherwise, there is no point to this personal blogging thing.

When I am online, one thing is undeniable: On the other end of the connection are people. Real people. Not "reality" entertainment but real people, warts and all. They may not be walking in my real life, but they are touching me all the same.

Laura Scott blogs at rare pattern.