The Guilty Curse

ericacake — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 09:28:12 -0500

I am a mom - therefore I am cursed. Hey - don’t take that negatively. Well okay, it can be negative… as in “I am bound to raise the babies I birthed - for 18 years - no matter how ungrateful they are”. But thats not where I was going…. Where was I? Oh yeah–I am CURSED WITH GUILT.

Trivial things seem to bring on that feeling of guilt. I call it “The Mother’s Curse”

I am with my children ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. I give them my everything and my all. But at the same time, in order for me to stay happy and sane, I need to have some “Me Time.” Like time on the laptop, reading a book, watching tv, taking a walk alone, etc. Even with these simple things, I get that GUILT. The guilt that says “Isn’t there something that you should be doing for your kids? Your husband? The house? Hmmm, Erica???”

It is rare that I get a break from the kids. My husband works outside the home, and I am The Ruler Of The Household 24/7. A couple weeks ago, it was getting close to my birthday. My mother (I love her) took both of my kids for the day and kept them overnight too! She wasn’t even 30 seconds out of my driveway, and I was RIDDEN WITH GUILT. How dare I abandon my children?! How dare I get a break?! How dare I have time with my husband alone?!

I get over that feeling eventually… but not entirely. I do understand that I need the break, and deserve it after all. But I still can’t seem to ever shake the guilt.

“The Mother’s Curse” …. why didn’t they include THIS in the pregnancy/baby/parenting books??? Or did I just miss it. I’m pretty unobservant like that….

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The Guilty Curse