BlogHer - Little Miss Swears A lot - Comments

Try a Dictionary

vbahstork — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 09:07:36 -0500

When I'm at work and hear someone using a lot of profanity, it just seems to me that they cannot find the words that they are looking for and revert to the simplest form of expression - the curse word. To those people, I would like to say find a dictionary and look for a more original way to get your point across. I definitely give more consideration to carefully formed expressions than those pieced together with every available 4 letter word.

http://3boysundermyroof.blogspot.com

Vocabulary as racism

alyssaroyse — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 09:22:42 -0500

Wow, that was quite a 'splosion. But I have ti chime in, because i think there are a lot of socio-cultural truths in there....

When I was a teacher in Saint Louis, one of my 2nd graders came up to me and said, "Ms Rosie, how you spell bigo?" and i said, "what?" and he repeated, "how you spell bigo?" again, "what?' it went on a few times until i said, "honey, i don't know what you're saying, can you use it in a sentence?" and he said, "you know, she got a bigol butt." i smiled and said, "i don't know honey, that's a made up word, just sound it out and spell it however you want." he asked if, since it was a made up word, he could still use it, I told him it was fine with me because this was FICTION and it helped paint the scene. i spent a lot of time that year teaching the appropriate places for formal vs. informal language. to 2nd graders. (Someone had to.)

It was cute and funny and all that, but brought home the very real point that our language is a reflection of our culture, and we are a country of widely varied cultures. As we increasingly mingle, our language rubs off on each other, and, personally, i think that's okay. I live in a beautiful neighborhood, in which many of my daughter's classmates will "axe" me something "pacifically" rather than asking me specifically. but that is how they speak, and in our casual exchanges, that's okay.

what concerns me is that they WILL be judged for it in the dominant culture. And, should they choose to try and make a living and career in the dominant culture, they need to learn to speak proper English. Teaching it to them, however, is easily seen as racism. So the lesson need to focus not on "dissing" their cultural nomenclature, but teaching them dominant language as well.

And then, teaching them how to tell when to use which language.

The same is true of swearing, and other linguistic formalities. On a personal note, I am always on guard around people who speak overly proper English in causal conversation. I assume the don't trust me, and don't' want me to trust them, or else why would all the pretense be in place? It keeps the walls and barriers up and prohibits true connection for me. I have to feel safe.... Conversely, however, I am very skeptical in professional settings of people who don't use proper English in professional settings.

That said, there is always room for personal flare in any setting. I have dropped an F Bomb in a board meeting, and even investor pitches.... it happens. And it's who I am. But you have to gauge your audience, because if you offend someone, they will not listen to anything you say from there on out.

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

YOU KNOOOOOOOOOOW

ladybroadoak — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 01:51:57 -0500

all that friggin stuff that passes for effing vocabulary, as in "too freakin much!" and I ain't eating THAT fricking piece of shite! [pronounced shy-eyet

Disguised disgust, rabid judgmentalism, absolute hyberpole wrapped in utter NICETY.

The true obscenity in this world is disrespect for others' lives that comes in one million war dead packages ..

I am fond of pointing out to people that GHANDI, the vegetarian ALWAYS ate the meat served to him as he didn't want to offend his host. They were offering him something.

Well, the average MURKAN is offering you something of themselves when they act spontaneously. I used to have a sign in my "counselling office" which read: I NEVER TRUST ANYONE WHO DOES NOT FUCKING SWEAR. THEY ARE TOO DAMNED SELF CONTROLLED. And thus, the MURKAN who swears well is telling you that they LIKE YOU and expect that you are going to understand their shitty little selves. Now, that adjective is NOT one you would hear in any other country, but you do know exactly what I mean.

I find it interesting that the MURKAN will tell you the most intimate thing and then say "ya know?" as if it were the most NATURAL thing in the world to be misfrikkin understood. Whereas here in frozen Canuckland, we say eh? which is a sign we are "all in this together, eh?" a kind of code for "of course you fucking well know what I mean!" There is absolutely nothing rhetorical in the use of "eh?"; it is definitively the consensus builder aboot which much has been miswritten. .

Here is another example of weird MURKAN syntax -

busy body No. 1 - well, how the fuck ARE ya doing?

avoidance person, no. 2 - "I'm fricking fine." which means of course they are frustrated, insecure, nervous and EDGY - so go away!

Compare that with this Canuck exchange

Person looking for a pal to get a beer or coffee with: How's it going?

Canuck who needs to vent: Like, I'm buying, eh? What's your frickin poison?

No, I did not leave a line out: that's the cocked up but friendly nature of our relationship sort of kultchah.

the teabag in the UK tit for tat goes like this:

Numero uno - pompous bloody twit or yob: BALLS! time for a coupla fingers!
Number two: Bloody hangover. The Berks kept it up all night long and I have a right head of piss. I'll bleedin well pass ..

Okay. Which is the MOST profane, which the most UTILE, and which would your mother have a kaniption-fit hearing??

Last observation: many MANY words crossed over from the ghetto into US parlance when drugs become a major fashion accessory in 1967 high school graduating classes. Between smoking menthol cigarettes with tampex on one end, we puffed away on motherfuckin grass .. and we said it that way, hoping the PIGS wouldn't hear us talk about the sublime ecstasy of us letting GO. PIGS is from the cops in NYC who hassled demonstrators against the Vietnam War, btw.

Speaking in this way NO! NO! and grrrrlz as opposed to boyz who spoke this got into high trouble. I don't think the CLASS DISTINCTIONS have died down much in the US of A, even though it's more than 40 years LATER, which is WHY using skanky ho is so much less acceptable than cursing .. and not one eyebrow would be raised if you called someone a fucking bitch. Now that a WAR is on big time once again, the word police are about to stop free expression .. however THEY want to define it.

In the UK, the use of words to interject one's personal disfavor is totally a Chinese maze to figure out UNLESS you "got the guidebook" by being born there .. or you marry a linguist. It's that kind of bloody place. It'll drive you bleedin' starkers to try figure it out.

Class dismissed. How's it goin for ya NOW?? LOL

Welcome to the ONEiverse. We are all ONE. Practice, practice, practice the law of ONE.

OMG - "Supposably" is maybe the WORST offender.

KristySF — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:35:37 -0500

I must have had a mental block. :)
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Kristy Sammis
BlogHer's Conference & Event Planner
e. kristy@blogher.org

Oof! So painful.

KristySF — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:34:38 -0500

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Kristy Sammis
BlogHer's Conference & Event Planner
e. kristy@blogher.org

I can't hear "misunderestimate" without thinking of Bush

KristySF — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 11:32:08 -0500

Although, same goes for "nucular."

Sigh.

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Kristy Sammis
BlogHer's Conference & Event Planner
e. kristy@blogher.org

Amen!

Liz Rizzo — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 20:03:19 -0500

Seriously, sometimes cursing is completely appropriate. And fun.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

OH, and on the subject matter

slynnro — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:12:12 -0500

I work for the goverment and "excessive" profanity is prohibited in my division's general manual. Of course, excessive is not defined, which as a lawyer I know this essentially becomes a useless provision because without a definition, there is no arbiter to say what is excessive. I once referred to a friend of my sister's as a "skanky ho" to a co-worker while telling a story. When I got back from lunch that day, I found a sticky note on my computer screen with the general manual code section regarding "excessive profanity." I find that kind of petty immaturity far more offensive than cursing, which I do do at work, though not in a manner I feel is excessive. I think it is somewhat immature to be unable to deal with someone who curses in small doses at work. If you are offended by little profanities here and there, you are going to be constantly offended by people who are not obligated by a manual to adhere to your standards of proper behavior.

MIght I add

slynnro — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:06:09 -0500

"Birfday" to the list of offending non-profanities? I have a friend with a law degree who cannot say birthday. And it makes me absolutely insane, but I've yet to correct her because I just can't bring myself to do it.

I kind of want to stop

HeatherB — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:38:21 -0500

swearing after this. Though I did once give it up for Lent and spent a lot of time having to think about how to replace words in a situation where I'd usually swear. I mean even in my therapist's office I was saying "What the heck?" and she kept looking at me funny. Apparently a therapist can tell when you're holding back.

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance

Ha!

HeatherB — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:36:22 -0500

That's funny and a lovely way to retaliate.

I actually use "clusterfuck" when in the car and there's like someone trying to merge improperly or seven cars blocking the intersection thereby creating a massive traffic jam. Or on the Beltway when people stop driving to watch a construction truck drop cones. But other than that, I never use it...

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance

Ahh good one

HeatherB — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:32:56 -0500

I have a rule about swearing around kids and it usually follows what the parents are doing and whether or not they're worried about the kid picking up on their every word at five weeks old.

I once kept stopping myself from swearing in front of a four month old and then his mother said to me " What? He has no idea" And so to demonstrate his father went up to his face and said in a little sing song voice "Fuckity, fuck, fuck". And that was that.

Now he's older so of course I don't swear and if I know that I'm going to be around children who are old enough to know what I'm saying or even old enough to repeat it back to me, then I just won't do it.

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance

Umm "anyways"

HeatherB — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 04:29:29 -0500

Kristy how do you feel about "misunderestimated"? Just wondering.

"Anyways" and "misunderestimated" offend me far more than the ocassional 'holy shit'

Heather B.
Personal Blog: No Pasa Nada
BlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance

Unintelligent?

lauriewrites — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:49:23 -0500

That's way presumptuous.

IMHO, the last bastion of unintelligence is to undertake violent actions against others for no apparent gain for the vast majority. I've therefore never sworn QUITE so much or so intelligently as in the last six or seven years in my home country.

Therefore I can only conclude that swearing, as my inevitable involuntary recourse in the wake of such action, seems an act of God.

Also, my language choices or impulses have nothing to do with men...who are destined to be oboxious? That's a really questionable conclusion, not borne out by many of the men I know, who may or may not swear when confronted with another stereotypical judgment.

I may judge your language (especially if you put an apostrophe in "cds", or don't put one in the contraction for "you are") but I'll never tell you you're unintelligent. Them's (civil, Lisa....) fightin' words where I come from.

Laurie

MURKAN dialects?

lauriewrites — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:37:05 -0500

Okay, Ladybroadoak...stumped me. What is that, and how can I learn it???? :)

Little Miss Swears A lot

HeatherB — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 14:52:46 -0500

I have no problem with admitting that I sometimes have the mouth of a trucker. A really dirty trucker who sometimes thinks that it’s ok to use the ‘C’ word in public when angry. There’s also the Pavlovian reaction to shoot my middle finger at most anyone who offends me while driving and to yell obscenities at Kevin Millar when he does well and Eli Manning when he gets sacked. I don’t plan these things, they just pop out from time to time. Like yesterday when Brandon Jacobs fumbled and I yelled out “MoFo” in its more…um… formal form and my father looked at me like instead of contributing his DNA for a sweet girl, dressed in pink, with pigtails, he contributed his DNA to Tyler Durden. And then he called Eli Manning a “stupid shit” and, well, pot-kettle black and all that jazz.

Despite my incessant dropping of the f-bomb or adding “and shit” to every other sentence, I try very, very, very hard to keep my language in check at work. Not because I’m trying to be ladylike or anything but because swearing isn’t taken too kindly while smack in the middle of the Hart Senate Office Building. I also work with my mother and if she were to hear me call someone a stupid ‘f-tard’ I doubt she’d find a problem with giving me a nice swat to the bottom for my foul language. You know, even though I’m almost 24 and far larger than she is, the woman still puts the fear of God into me.

People swear. Sometimes it’s a natural reaction to thing sometimes it’s done for affect and sometimes I just think that people are ‘fuckheads’ and need to be told so. But there’s a difference between doing all of this in the privacy of one’s home or with the office door closed and doing so in the office during a board meeting across from a balding guy in suspenders:

What I find troubling the powers that be, seem to be totally at ease promoting swearing on the job as a good stress reliever whatever happened to yoga or meditation or exercise? Is the work place going the way of Gangster Rap, Yo bitch where my coffee? Hey fuck face didnt I tell you to Fed Ex this package! Hey shit breath mother fuckin ho bitch didnt I till you to fix the copy machine? Okay you think this little scenario will relieve or create even more stress, and more anger....whats next? Using your glock to relieve stress?

I have this colleague who sits in the office next to mine and he leaves his door open while using such creative things as “You fucking fuck face”. Since I tend to be a little bit more creative with my language I try to close the door or you know, be polite and not use said language at all because… I don’t know…I’m at work and being paid is something that I enjoy. Crazy, right? Though really I could give two…uh…s-words (I got lost in the moment there, sorry) as to whether or not someone has profanity laced language. Go forth and spew what you’d like. What I do have some qualms with is a British study that was pointed out by Elena Cantor at Funny Business and then at Market Watch about swearing in the workplace being a morale booster, that is if you are male:

The study points directly to all-male or male-dominated cultures -- think about a football locker room or the factory floor -- in which the "competitive nature of men's speech" creates a sense of harmony and oneness. Such organizations, the study said, are marked by a "lively boisterous communication style with friendly insults and witty use of coarse, casual profanity."

The study also points to gender issues and an apparent double standard of men's swearing compared with women's cursing. "Female swearers are often perceived to be of a low moral standing," the researchers noted. Men, on the other hand, can generate reverence from swearing, though they tend to tone down the use of profanity in front of women.

.

While I can understand swearing to be a great way to release frustration so can a few benzodiapans and I wouldn’t recommend over compensating stress with great use of either. I also don’t understand the premise that us dainty girls shouldn’t be able to scream out an emphatic “Holy motherfucker” when the boss or a client is being ridiculously annoying. But I don’t understand it being a ‘morale booster’. I don’t feel any closer to the guy in the office next to me every time he screams out ‘fuck’. In fact, my best bet is that the reason he feels so compelled to do it so much in the work place is because he then goes home to the most adorable five year old and six month old boys and I doubt he wants his six month old’s first words to be “asshole” so he does it here. And to that I say go for it, but if I feel like busting out with a string of foul language, I better not get one look of shock that all of those obscenities just rolled out of my mouth with ease. If so, I’m just going to say “I’m trying to bring the office together. That’s all.”