BlogHer - Question of the Week: Which gift would you prefer to receive from your partner...bling or sentimental? - Comments

I have to admit, jewelry can be romantic

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:00:13 -0600

I totally agree that I'd never want anyone to spend above their means, but a nice bracelet or necklace would really touch me, truth be told. There's just something sentimental about it to me.

That said, there's plenty of more practical or gadgety stuff that would have me grinning ear to ear, too!

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Give me the "Toys" instead, please....

debra roby — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:58:07 -0600

OK, in some ways I'm much more "guy" than "girlie"... give me the gear.

I saw a new Craftsman wrench advertised and I really would like that in stocking!

An external hard drive would be nice...

And whatever kind of flat screen tv wouldn't glare from the 17 windows in our family room?? THAT would make this gal happy while she watches football and baseball games throughout the year.

Bling would lie abandoned in a drawer.

Sentiment stands way too much a risk of feeling "manipulative" with a jaded old soul like me.

Toys. That's the ticket.

The worse part is the only way I'm going to get anything, is to buy it for myself. So who's got the best deal on those tvs???

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

Darn Zales and Kay commercials

Raquita — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:04:57 -0600

Personally i am not big on the bling for holidays, I can't remember the last time I go some bling. Probably because my mom was always and still is really so bling focused, I can remember having to do so much to get her the gift she asked for - instead of the things that I would have gotten her if she had just let us coose a gift for her. I always want to see what people would get for me - not to give them a list then see wht they chose off it. If my husband wanted to get me some bling then I would love it cause he saw it and thought of me - but I don't think i would ask for it or require it as a gift.

He asked me after a Kay commercial this weekend if That would be the perfect gift,a nd I don't think he beleived me when I said no- I meant it though.

I probably would rather pick it out myself.

be peaceful, be poetry
http://blaquepen.com/wobl

A little guiltless bling goes a long way

moddivorce — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:18:27 -0600

Like you, I think about the man's financial situation - if he's got extra cash and has never given me any bling, who am I to say No? Once he's bought the bling, however, or if he doesn't have the cash for it, I don't need a tangible gift. Unlike my sister, it doesn't bother me if gifts are not exchanged on birthdays or christmas - spending quality time together is much more important than going into debt or even spending unnecessarily.

Thanks Zandria!

Question of the Week: Which gift would you prefer to receive from your partner...bling or sentimental?

Zandria — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:25:25 -0600

I'm not typically a "bling" kind of girl. I drive a five-year-old Honda Civic. I don't get manicures or pedicures. I've never been to a spa, tanning bed, or visited a professional masseuse. I don't wear a lot of makeup (much less worry about the difference between a "day" and a "night" look). I wear my hair long, so I only go to a salon about four times a year for upkeep. I don't remember the last time I bought an item of clothing for myself that cost over $30 (I've been downsizing and getting rid of things, not adding to what I already have). And I go through spurts with wearing jewelry. Sometimes I'll wear it regularly, and then I'll go weeks without wearing anything other than an occasional necklace to work.

I've said on multiple occasions that my two sisters are much more glamorous than I. Just recently I told my older sister that I almost always wear pants to work, so I wear the same pair of black shoes pretty much every day. (It's easy; I keep them under my desk and then I wear my sneakers whenever I leave the office.) I believe she was genuinely appalled.

The thing is, I really don't care about all of that stuff. I try to take care of my body and my appearance, but I don't go out of my way to draw attention to myself. And right now, another part of the "non-bling" lifestyle is simply about living within my means. I work for a nonprofit and I live in an area with a high cost of living. If I had more money to spend on the bling? Sure, I might be persuaded to part with my cash on a more regular basis.

But what would I want as a gift? Would I want the bling, or would I prefer to have something sentimental?

When I think about this question, I don't just think about what I'd want. I think about the situation of the person from whom I'd be receiving this gift. Just like I wouldn't go into debt to buy myself some bling, I wouldn't expect someone else to purchase something for me that was outside of their means. But sure, if the guy had some extra cash he'd like to part with for my sake, I wouldn't tell him no.

There's certainly nothing wrong with getting a sentimental gift, regardless of the amount of money a person has. (And by "sentimental" I'm not necessarily talking homemade or even something that takes a lot of effort; it can be as simple as remembering something you might have mentioned months before, filing the information away and then bringing the gift forward at a later time without you having to remind him. We all like to know that the other person is paying attention.)

Maryam posted her family's wish list here on BlogHer, where alongside some pricey gift items she gave her husband the option of taking the sentimental "second choice." Here's the first one on the list:

1) Ms. Pac-Man Arcade game: $2599.99 at Costco
You probably are wondering, just like Robert, why I want this arcade game so much. The truth is I grew up during the 80s and spent a lot of my free time at the arcades with my friends during high school. Ms. Pac-Man was my favorite game and when I play it, I feel like that carefree teenager again. I know it is not wise to spend that much money on a game, and I doubt we’ll ever get one, but I can’t help and wish for it.

1) a. As an alternative to Ms. Pac-Man arcade game, which is what I have always wanted, Robert can promise to spend an hour a day with me. I would love to go for walks everyday with him. We can hold hands and walk our worries away.

How sweet is that? I imagine Maryam wouldn't give her husband sentimental alternatives to fancy gift items if she didn't really mean it. Like her, I know I'd much rather feel loved and appreciated than be able to admire, for instance, some fancy rock on my finger. (The best of both worlds? The bling and the feeling of love and appreciation. But we have to be realistic.)

So what about you? Which gift would you prefer to receive from your partner...bling or sentimental?

(Contributing editor Zandria also blogs at Keep Up With Me.)