New Year's Resolution #1-Say no to my kids a bit less

nannyturnedmommy — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:38:05 -0600

My two sons are the light of my life. I love them more than any words can possibly express. This is not a news flash for the fellow moms reading this. We all know that there is nothing we would not do for our children. However, there are times when we have to step back from the every day craziness to figure out just what we are teaching our kids. Between getting them to school, laundry, housework, cooking dinner, volunteering at the school, cleaning and the general things we do every day just to get through we can loose sight of the real job at hand. We are moms to help cultivate this tiny person into a happy and healthy adult someday.

The other day I was washing dishes and my 19 month old son was just dying to see what I was doing in the sink. He thought “She has been standing there and ignoring me for quite a bit so that must be a whole lot of FUN!” We all know it was one of the least fun parts of our day be he has no idea. He literally grabbed a chair and dragged it over so he could play like Mommy.

My first reaction was to tell him no and to leave me be so I could get this chore done. There was a look in his face that made me stop and think. Why can’t he help me wash the dishes a bit? I was almost done. Just a few cups and utensils left. What was the harm in letting “Help” me while I wash? Aidan got such a kick out of playing with the water and the bubbles and filling the cups just to dump them out again. It actually made washing dishes a bit amusing. The worst that happens is he learns to help out around here every once in a while. Like that would be a bad thing! It may have taken me longer to finish but the smile on his face was worth it.

The same thing occurred to me with my 6 year old son RJ. He came home from kindergarten just not a happy camper. It was a long day at towards the end of a long week and he wanted to play a board game with me. Again my first reaction was no. I had gotten held up at the grocery store that day and there was a bunch of laundry that had not gotten folded. Plus I had to get started with dinner and mate that huge pile of socks at the end of my bed.

There was something about RJ’s face that told me he needed some time to hang with his mom. I made a deal with him that if we played a game he would help me mate the socks when we were done. For dinner that night we had soup and sandwiches instead of the meatballs we had planned on. RJ even picked a game that we could play with his little brother so all three of us had a fun time. We laughed and laughed and I think that it made it that much easier for him to get up and off to school the next day.

As a stay at home mom I tend to obsess about what I got done in any given day. It is as if I feel like I need to be able to prove over and over the reason I “get” to stay home. The whole reason I don’t get a job and put my youngest in day care is because both my husband and I want to be able to raise our children ourselves instead of paying someone else to do it. Raising them means interacting with them and teaching by example. Yes that does sometimes mean that Mommy has to get things done before we can have fun. Then there are time when playing with your kids and just spending time with them is exactly what needs to get done.

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New Year's Resolution #1-Say no to my kids a bit less