BlogHer - Because "Nobody Really Likes Hair in their Private Regions..." - Comments

it's all yours!

alyssaroyse — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 13:09:26 -0600

amused me too, please use at will. made me think of judging people by their hairdos. i suppose i get judged by some for having very short hair, and by others when i had long blond hair..... ironically, the most judged i ever felt was when i used to shave my head. someone actually told me "you're not even a woman if you do that...." hmmmm, me senses some parallels. :) :)

i love that you write such incredibly good stuff and still crack me up.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

Brilliant

Suzanne Reisman — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 09:23:19 -0600

"snatch coiffing options"

Hilarious. I must use this line.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

SURPRISE!

alyssaroyse — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:48:05 -0600

I couldn't agree more! And it's such a fine line..... I chose not to have hair because I don't want it. My reasons are irrelevant. Some people choose to have hair because they want it. Their reasons are also irrelevant!

Whoever wrote that ad "for childlike appeal" ought to be, well, i dunno, strung up by something and..... It's just so wrong.

At the same time, I think that the only way to help our young girls get the message that they have the right to choose their own path is to celebrate all of the choices. Now, I want nothing to do with the ad campaign that shows all the snatch coiffing options (or, maybe i do....) but we should not support anything that amounts to judging people for their landscaping choices. (ESPECIALLY with those insidious ads!)

now, everyone go celebrate what you've got and have some fun with it! :)
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

Aha!

Suzanne Reisman — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 22:11:11 -0600

So the person I had all those conversations with was you! That's very cool. :)

I'll just add that I do think it is important to respect other adult women for the decisions they make regarding their own bodies, although it is something that doesn't always come naturally to me, which is why I think it is so great that blogging has led me to meet so many women who have different views than I do. Knowing more about a topic is always appreciated and important. At the same time, I think we need to stop these messages from brainwashing young girls into thinking that they must be, look, or act a certain way. This will certainly affect the decisions they make today and the rest of their lives, and I hope that if they eventually decide to get Brazilian waxes, it is not because they fear what others will think of them.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

Childlike Appeal

alyssaroyse — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:24:39 -0600

Yes, referring to it as having a childlike appeal is beyond disgusting. Frankly, I'm stunned that's even legal given all the regulations in advertising....

BUT, again, can we please refrain from asserting that people who make different choices than us need to have their "heads examined." even saying that people have "claimed to enjoy this" is assuming that they are lying, they couldn't possibly enjoy it...

It's fine if you don't. You don't have to. But please don't assume that just because someone else does there is something wrong with them, they suffer from some sort of pathology or are begin dishonest.

When it comes to sexuality, we ALL like it differently. And are all free to express that - safely and consensually - however we wish. Whether is the positions we like or the partners, the toys or the outfits, sexuality and how we express it is deeply personal and no one should be judged for it. If we're still so hung up on body hair configurations - either way - then how are we ever going to get to the issues of sexual freedom that actually matter?

I, for one, do not like body hair at all. And i do not need my head examined. I am not "claiming" to enjoy it, and I do not assume that people who DO like body hair (and there are lots of them) have anything wrong with them or should have their heads examined.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

"IT HAS A CHILDLIKE APPEAL?"

holly_jahangiri — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:28:08 -0600

I'm still digesting that as a selling point. Stated in front of, or marketed to, well...children.

This is the big reason (no, it's not) that I've never even considered (are you kidding me?) having a "Brazilian" (oh, besides the PAIN you mean? Like you didn't learn your lesson with the Epilady?) - I find it more than a little disturbing that this might actually be a turn-on to grown men, and I like to think my husband would think I needed my head examined.

I know women who've claimed to enjoy this. I don't want to examine that too deeply, either. I was offered a bikini waxing, years ago, at a spa. I thought I'd die of embarrassment just contemplating the logistics of that (isn't that something we do for ourselves, in private, like - brushing our teeth?)...but a Brazilian?!! No thank you.

---------------
Holly Jahangiri
http://jahangiri.us/blog

I'm going in....

alyssaroyse — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 23:34:58 -0600

Okay, I can't resist.... Even though I have been told that a woman "of my stature" (by which I think they mean a woman who run a company funded with other people's money....) shouldn't discuss such things publicly. (There is, I assure you, a blog post on THAT coming...)

Suzanne and I had a little chat about this a year ago (when I was using my anonymous name and a different blog) and she was both gracious and open-minded, so I can vouch for her willingness to "let it be" whatever we each want it to be.

But, I have to chime in as a very feminist, very fully grown woman who very much dislikes hair in my bits. Or any bits that I find myself playing with. I don't know why. I had been married more than a decade before, as a "shake it up" joke, I shook it all off, as it were. And I never went back.

Before we condemn this act as infantalizing women, or assume all men who like it are pedophiles, let's step back and remember that we all feel things differently, and like things different ways. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

But, as far as the other 2 issues at hand:

This messaging needs to be kept as far away from our girls as possible. (And no, I have no idea what I'll tell my daughter when she asks...) It's a personal decision and we do not need to message them with "what your body is doing naturally is gross and bad." Duh.

And the idea that "nobody likes hair" is patently ridiculous. I just had a conversation with a guy friend of mine who just can't get "excited" by a bare snatch. In fact, I hear that a lot. But moreover, WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT. We like different things, different ways, for different reasons.

Don't fall for it. Be you. Because you want to. And for no other reason than that.

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

Laser hair removal

craftycassie — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 15:40:46 -0600

I admit that I have spent a few thousand dollars having my leg and underarm hair removed via laser treatments. I shaved those areas anyway, and the stubble was driving me crazy. But I can't bring myself to laser the bikini area. The pain factor is a small concern, but mostly I'm too modest to have some technician pointing a laser at my nether regions. But come swimsuit season, I might change my mind. I would never go full Brazilian, though -- that's just creepy.

Say what?

Judith in Umbria — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 13:28:07 -0600

Who wants a man who requires you seem a child? Who wants a man who has educated himself with grotty pictures? Maybe this is the end of humanity, when we find ourselves disgusting.

http://www.judithgreenwood.com/thinkonit/

Not a hypocrite at all

Suzanne Reisman — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 12:07:07 -0600

I think it is very hard to get away with not shaving your legs, and to some extent, armpits. As many women wear skirts and shorts, legs are very visible and the pressure to shave them is probably as intense as the pressure to be thin. Ditto with tank tops and arm pits. Especially for women who work, it seems unprofessional to have hairy legs showing under a skirt. But who sees your crotch? I get that adolescent girls want to shave their legs and pits (and bikini lines) so that they fit in with their peers, but I do think that Brazilian waxes are a completely different ballgame. Young girls shouldn't have anyone looking at their crotches, and worse, these waxes enforce the idea that women "smell" and are gross, which is something that sex educators like Logan Levkoff find destroys the self-esteem and self-worth that girls feel and actually ultimately lead them to develop into women who deny themselves sexual pleasure out of shame. I'm not thrilled with leg/pit/bikini shaving, but I don't think it has the same overall repercussions. Maybe I'm wrong...

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS)& Other Rants

Speechless

Elana Centor — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 11:03:28 -0600

However, am I being a hypocrite? I started shaving my underarms and legs at 11. My daughter started shaving her legs at 8. I am culturally programmed for hairless arms and legs Clearly, the messag when I was a teenager was that we would be more feminine and sexually attractive if we were hairless. I do remember that there were plenty of moms who wanted their daughters to wait until they were 15 to shave.

At the time hairless legs signaled a message that perhaps a Brazilian signals today.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

Because "Nobody Really Likes Hair in their Private Regions..."

Suzanne Reisman — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 10:37:49 -0600

In my best Sophia Petrillo voice: Picture it: New York City, 2005.

A young girl leaves her office on a cold, rainy evening in October. She’s already angry and frustrated, as she often is after a day at work. Then what does she see when she sits down on the subway and looks up at the ads that line the sides? An ad for why she needs a Brazilian wax. “Goddammit!” the young woman seethes. “It’s bad enough that I have to put up with insane beauty standards that make me feel guilty about not wearing a size 2 while also carting around a 32D rack! Can’t they leave my damn crotch alone?!?!” And that’s when it strikes her: she should create a blog about this: this insane pressure women must deal with to have hot wax pouring into their vulvas so that normal hair growth can be ripped out by the root or to drag sharp razors over sensitive areas to slice off the hairs. This idea that one can’t be feminine or attractive if she looks like, well, an adult woman. That men will reject you and that you are a slovenly, smelly, embarrassment to your sex. That you are a man-hating feminist who will die alone with 27 cats (even though you are allergic to cats) and they’ll eat your face off before anyone traces the smell (since, ya know, you already stink from your gross unshaved cooter so the neighbors are used to it)…

That said, I also realized when I started blogging that it would be hard to sustain a blog that solely explores why women feel the need to remove their pubic hair from their vulvas, and noted that I’d also write about other things that annoy or amuse me. I haven't been fired up to write about unshaved snatch for a while, so thanks to Lee at Independent Business Woman for her tip that led me to this gem at Chaos Theory:

Now an Australian website, girl.com.au has a big feature about Brazilian waxes - and in case you don’t know what that is, it’s when hot wax is used to rip off every inch of hair from a woman’s private region. Every hair. And the site is read by girls in the age nine to 14 range. On top of that, the site promotes the Brazilian with this phrase: “Nobody really likes hair in their private regions and it has a childlike appeal.”

IT HAS A CHILDLIKE APPEAL?

Obviously, I am as disgusted as Sherry is about this situation. Even putting aside the disturbing notion that hairless snatch offers "childlike appeal," the idea that "nobody really likes hair in their private regions" is enough to drive me batshit. Why does no one like it? Oh, maybe because we are told that it is smelly, dirty, slovenly, disgusting, unwomanly, revolting, and offensive? And where's the proof that "Nobody" likes it? (I guess I'm "Nobody" since I prefer pubic hair to having hot wax poured into the crevices of my labia and ass so some non-gynecologist can stick scraps of paper down there to yank every hair out by the root so I can have "childlike appeal," or at best, be less "un-feminine" to men raised on photoshopped pictures of hairless adult women.)

Anna at Jezebel offered a link to a YouTube Video of women during their Brazilian wax procedure. The video was made to help convince those of us who are squeamish about the idea of having hot wax poured into our vulvas then ripped out that it isn’t so bad. (For the record, I love Jezebel because they have written several blog posts that are skeptical of snatch waxing.) The Jezebel post links to a post written over at Mob Living with more pictures of women undergoing Brazilian procedures and a cheerful reassurance that:

I think totally natural is very hot, but with my line of work I have no choice but to go 12 year old girl style. Worst part of a Brazilian is actually getting yourself to go. But once you’re there and the first strip is pulled, you’re good. Your first one is usually the most painful, but don’t be scared, it’s not that bad. Don’t ask your friends if they hurt cause they are all going to exaggerate. I don’t know why some women tell there friends its so painful. I worried about getting my first one for months before I made myself go. If you get it done properly it should only be slightly uncomfortable. I actually enjoy going now, its painfully enjoyable.

One important thing that I learned from blogging about snatch waxing/shaving is that a lot of adult women do it for a lot of different reasons. Since I don’t like being judged for my personal beauty decisions, I shouldn't judge other adult women for theirs. However, that I cannot extend this courtesy to 9-14 year old girls. Whether or not we chose to wax or shave our pubic hair as adults, I think we need to band together and follow Sherry’s lead to protect our girls from this insidious message that if you don’t groom a certain way, you are disgusting and, well, look like a woman.

Suzanne (aka "Nobody") also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants, where a shorter and fouler version of this essay also appears