BlogHer - Why I'm Pro-Life - Comments

my take on life

babyamg7 — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:54:18 -0600

well Ive spent about an hour reading what everyone has to say and i agree and disagree with so much of it ....here's what i have to say ...i think the baby is a baby .....when lacy Peterson was murdered the whole country thought of her and her baby ..not her and her ball of cells .....he took 2 lives ...hers and her unborn baby's .....so why is it a baby when someone wants it? but a ball of cells when an inconvenience ........and when pro-choicers say its not a life because it cannot live without its mother? i don't understand that either? because an newborn infant cannot survive without someone Else's dependency ....so in a pro-choicers view it should be OK to kill children until they can care for themselves because there mother chose not to take care of them .... I'm pro-life ....i don't believe in the death penalty in any circumstance...i don't believe in embryonic stem cell research i think no one should have the power to take away a humans life/soul ....i am a firm believer in a woman's choice ..i chose to do what i want when i want but i don't chose to be a prostitute or steal or sell drugs or murder because its wrong and you go to jail for these kind of things .....so just because we believe in choice doesn't mean we get the right to chose to murder .....and i agree that more should be done to educate so unwanted pregnancy's accrue way less often i have two daughters they are just baby's now but as there mother and teacher i will try my hardest to raise them as my mother raised me ..very strictly lol my mom raised me to believe in god and to try my hardest to be moral ...i saved my self for marriage and for the respect and strength of myself and my husband .....so it can be taught and im no saint either when i was first married i took birth control but when i googled is birth control abortive i was in shock to know it was i also asked my doctor and he confirmed that if you believe life begins at conception it is abortive so i flushed my pills very sadly and now i have 2 daughters at 22 and my 1st was planned but if i would have been taking my pills i wouldn't have my unplanned beautiful 1yr old marykate who i love and adore.........anymore people just except immoral things because they think its normal ...but its not ....and I'm not saying that if a woman gets an abortion she will be dammed to hell because i truly believe in my heart that most woman who get abortions don't fully understand what they are aborting and as fare as the rape issue goes its very rare but if it happened to me i would keep it because that child would be half of mine and if it was to hard to keep there are millions of woman out there dieing to chose your baby for adoption...also if i had to make the choice of my life or my baby's i would chose my baby's it would be selfish to live 22 years and chose not to give them a day ....and as far the abort because there was something wrong with the baby i don't think that's right either there has been so many cases where doctors have been proven wrong and if there was something wrong with my child it would still be mine and giving to me for a reason

I'm a firm believer that life happens for a reason even though at times we cant understand what that reason is ....someday we will

I'm sure there's alot of people who don't like my take on life... but its mine

i may live in a fairytale world but i BELIEVE in good

"what happens to these

birthmom — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 22:43:28 -0500

"what happens to these children? Not those of us who were
'oops babies' and were okay because we had families who pulled it
together somewhat and limped it along...I mean those other kids. The
ones who get left crying in cribs for hours because their parent went
out to score another hit. The ones who get slapped around and far
worse because they have parents who can't deal with them? The ones who
start prostituting and selling drugs because there's no food in the
house and they're hungry?"

In response...THEY CAN BE ADOPTED INTO LOVING FAMILIES perfectly capable and willing to love them and provide all the resources and opportunities a child deserves. As a rape victim and having an unplanned pregnancy and no means to support my child I was shown the abudance of opportnities there are available for girls in my similar situation. I had no idea the choices that I had, until visiting the local adoption agency. You can provide your child with the most loving family and pick every last detail, if you choose to. No one can understand how amazing it feels to take something tragic and make it into something wonderful, until they have been their themselves. Don't deny young girls/mothers this right because the other option of abortion was just "too easy" for them to avoid. I was tempted to go this route myself, but I am a stronger woman today because I didn't. I would of prefered their of been no option for me and giving life was the only way, because your first impulse reaction could be to end a life. The thought alone is to close to this realization that my daughter would not exist today.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and no pregnancy is unwanted. And there are parents who are capable to raise and love every child. I am going to be rude here and just have to say... We are women, let's give life and shut up about it..or else be a guy! I'm sorry, but we should feel honored to be able to give life and be thankful for all the millions of families praying for children to adopt everyday, from EVERY situation.

The problem you see in your line of work, is like I see everyday too. And I agree it is because of uncapable parents. But these are just as much the parents that "plan" pregnancies as those who do not. Off topic, I think because it's cheaper to be pregnant than to not be... is why most families who shouldn't be procreating are. I had no idea how everything is free when you are pregnant, until I was! I was able to get free insurance and medical for 3 months after the birth. Staying pregnant seems a pretty easy way to avoid paying bills, that's all. That has to play some part.

Also, in response to your post....I had pre-ecampsia, gained 100 pds, and almost died. Pregnancy is easy, it's not hard, I had natural labor and I'm 25 and what is all this fuss about! I may be PMS'ing at the moment, but I'm just dang tired of reading about people supporting a woman's right to kill an unborn child! That's my daughter and maybe someone else's future son or daughter we are talking about, in my eyes at least.

Also, abstinence education at my highschool...only helped start families at age 16. Everyone had to go try what they just learned how to use....

If you want goverment to stay out of a woman's right to choose...then let's also have government stay out of a parent's right to choose what is taught to their own childern in school (and their children are "more living", I guess, So they are probably much more important too?)

Pro-choice

uberbrun — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 21:28:48 -0500

Abortion- Yes, there should be far fewer of these, I completely agree.
As the mother of a newborn I strongly defend the right of women who
have unplanned pregnancies to terminate them and have an abortion. I
love my son, he is amazing. I am a married first-time mother in a supportive
relationship with no real money worries and public health insurance.
With all that there are still many times I feel inadequate to support my
child. Now take someone who is underage or without physical, emotional
or financial help or without good mental or physical health herself.
Those women should be able to decide not to have a baby. Why?

Well,
what happens to these children? Not those of us who were
'oops babies' and were okay because we had families who pulled it
together somewhat and limped it along...I mean those other kids. The
ones who get left crying in cribs for hours because their parent went
out to score another hit. The ones who get slapped around and far
worse because they have parents who can't deal with them? The ones who
start prostituting and selling drugs because there's no food in the
house and they're hungry? Yeah - those are the kids I see everyday working in Children's Mental Health.
And they go looking for love
and acceptance and belonging because nobody at home provides that. And then what happens? They have babies they can't take care of. They join gangs because they feel like there is a place for them and that someone is looking out for them. It is a sick, sick circle.

-Having
said that abortion is horrible. I was asked to be a support person for a young woman who had one not too long ago. I held her hand while they started it
and stayed with her in recovery while she cried and drove her home
afterward. It was horrible. She will never forget it and neither will
I. But she shouldn't have to be pregnant (not easy) have a baby
(really hard) and possibly be a mother (if she chooses) because I wouldn't expect my 14 year-old child to do that and I wouldn't expect your daughters to either. Certianly there are a lot of young, middle class girls whose parents vote pro-life but are ashamed when their daughter becomes pregnant and send them off to "camp" or "grandma's for the summer." It happens. I am from the other camp. I never had one, I never found myself in the position of needing one. And I don't think I would have chosen to if I had been in that situation. But that's the thing with these hard choices, you never know what you would do until you are in that situation. I vote for a woman's right to choose because I was never there myself and I don't believe in imposing my views on other people. I don't think a room full of middle-aged, mostly Caucasian men should decide if our daughters and young women everywhere should have to carry each pregnancy to term.

-Prevention. Let's look at Sarah Palin,and my heart breaks for her daughter who has been splashed all over the media. But she illistrates the point that abstinance-based sex education
does not work. It doesn't even work when you reinforce it with a strong
family structure and a good upbringing. Teenagers have sex. Not all,
but most of them. We need better education for youth, access to contraception and the means for young women, particularly those without partners, to have access to public programs and support necessary to raise a child on their own if we really want more people to follow these pregnancies through to term.

very well said. This is

Corrine — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:33:41 -0500

very well said. This is very interesting feed. And enlightening to hear all sides. Corrine

Your babies weren't murdred

Corrine — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:24:17 -0500

Your babies weren't murdred by God. Death is part of our life cycle. We have no real control over death, which we shouldn't. It just happens. And it is sad. I really don't believe God willingly makes us suffer, but He also allows life and nature to take their courses as well. Is everyone who dies a murder vicitim of Gods?

I do have a hard time understanding how one can experience such grief at losing an unborn child and at the same time agree with taking the life away by choice.

Also, yes the government has provided programs to help people, but at some point people need to take responsibilites for their own lives and not have the government support them for their whole lives. Corrine

Lots of Comments...same theme

birthmom — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 07:01:25 -0500

Lots of comments...I loved your post, and everything else you commented about. I have to admit, I stopped reading the comments after number 15 though! Goodness it's a touchy subject. I will read them all someday I'm sure. Now I just wanted to say I was always anti-abortion but I wasn't the type to try to stop anyone on their way to the abortion clinic either (so I don't think I was anything but confused on the subject) Now I am anti-abortion because every unborn cihld out there I see as my little Annie and saving them is like getting to save her all over again. Every abortion to me is like killing my little girl before she got to show the world how amazing she was. She changed 3 families lives and affected so many people before she was even 30 days old! I was raped and knew I would be to tempted to have an abortion (always knew choice was a hard one) so I blocked out that I was pregnant for 7 months. Whatever you have to do to keep the life inside you alive...I support. God makes anything possible, so it's the least we can do to bring life into the world as women. It's why we are women!!! I even had pre-eclampesia in last month of pregnancy that almost killed me too. Gained 100 pounds and 20 in twod days. But I was determined to give life to the world, not replace one or take away two for no reason...and so was God.

I love ADOPTION now too! I didn't give her up because it was rape either..I did it because I wanted her to have stability and two Godly parents. I miss her everyday, but know made right choice. I have a purpose now in life I feel to do all I can to stop abortion, spread awareness of adoption, change the stigma on adoptions, change the image of birth moms from those unprepared to those who truly love, and raise awareness of pre-eclapsia. Also not the point of adoption is to provide child with everything they deserve and need. So sorry, but i don't support gay adoptions because psychology and research proves it is best to have both male and female caregivers. Sure it's possible to raise healthy child without, but point of adoption is to give the best to child. Just adding my two cents to your great post. Doubt anybody will read page 4 cause I sure didn't! lol

Thanks, brooke

My Blog The Story of A Girl

http://thestoryofagirl.com

5“Before I [8]formed you in the womb I knew you,
And [9]before you were born I consecrated you;
I have [10]appointed you a prophet to the nations.”Jeremiah 1:5

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20

http://www.theadoptiontriad.com/blog/

In response to the comment before mine, I just read...

I guess there is just no use convincing some people. I;m just baffled by how pro-choice supporters use the "don't want government controlling my family and my life" statement....when they are (or I assume must be) democrats politically. Isn't that being very hypocritical and picking and choosing what to notice? To be democrat is to be, in essence, ok allowing the government 2 control almost everything we do and assuming that people can't make their own choices without the goverment's help. Pro-choice...how about Pro-responsibility in general. We are women, we have a choice and free will anyways. Like previous comments have said, abortion will be done anyways, if women want to or not. Our duty and priveltage as women (besides being the dominant sex and capable of doing anything) is to teach younger generations of women the importance of life so they never risk their life for an unsafe means of abortion if it is never legalized. Legalizing it sends a haunting scary message to my daughter and her daughters, daughters, that it's ok to give up. If I am wrong, i hope God shows me the right stance on this issue before I die. God Bless.

undeniably pro choice

lilyanasmom — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:44:28 -0500

I am undeniably pro choice. But want to thank you for speaking on the topic with eloquence and heart. Not attacking. I came to this board looking for other adoptive families. When you sight adoption as a point of interest several abortion rants come up. For me these tirads hit very close to home. I just had an abortion but it was not by choice. I was 4 1/2 months pregnant and had severe complications which made it necessary to abort my baby. Who by the way still had a heartbeat, but there was no way to save her and my life was at risk. As a mother to a little one whom has already gone through the loss of two mothers before coming into my arms I don't feel I have the right to risk my life and for her to loose yet another mother. Although I had such love for my angel my living childs needs had to trump the needs of my unborn childs. And here for me is where the slope gets very slippery in the argument of pro life. If a womens right to choose is taken away who gets to decide for me and my family what is right. At what point is the line drawn. In my case would it be okay and if we draw the line there where then do we stop that line. I think abortion is sad but I do not in any way want the government to choose my fate or the fate of my children. Born or unborn.

I am Pro-Choice

missiowa — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:41:56 -0500

I am in college and these are the years where a lot of unexpected pregnancies happen. I know of too many already. We all know that contraceptives are not 100 percent effective. In a lot of these cases, the mothers are no where near ready to have a child. They are not finacially stable, do not have an education yet, and not ready to settle down. I know that there is adoption, but there are a lot of kids in the adoption agencies already. Also, I could not imagine carrying a child for 9 months and then having to give it up for adoption. If the mother did decide to keep the child, the child could end up having a horible life because the mother would just blame the child or neglect him/her. I believe that the mother knows herself well enough to know if she is ready or not. I do agree that some people abuse the right of choice, but I think we need to let it be up to the woman. If we let others control when/if we can give birth to a child or not, when are they going to stop taking away our rights?

I dont want to come across like I am a pro-life hater because I am not. I have never, personally, been in a situation where I would have to choose. I really liked this article and I am glad to be able to share my thoughts to everyone else.

pro-humility and pro-compassion

madeintaiwan — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:47:25 -0600

Hello, I'm new to the board and stumbled on to the post.. I don't have any easy answers obviously but I do hope that people will think about pro-choice supporters with more compassion. It is so easy to judge when you live in your little world and proclaim absolutes... but there is a big, complex, and sometimes very very dark world out there with situations that are not even fathomable to some. Why do we need to put people on trial for murder?? Because judgments on death are not so clear cut. Some deaths end up being accidental, some are due to negligence, some in self-defense...
I personally think abortions have gotten way out of hand and are way too convenient, but it would go too far to say there are any absolutes.
I also hope that people who are Christians will.. follow Christ. It is of course your duty to follow what you "feel" God is saying to you... but there are his commands that ARE absolute; namely, love each other, do not judge. So in sharing an opinion, that should hopefully come through in your post. It always saddens me to see so much cruelty from a follower of Jesus... Jesus who washed the feet of others, Jesus who loved the ostracized.
Sorry to intrude, but thanks for letting me put in my thoughts.

Pro-Life and Democracy - How Does That Work?

Gloria Pan — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 13:18:12 -0600

I wish I had seen this thread earlier. Serves me right for not visitng more often!

Here's a question I've never heard a satisfactory answer to. Maybe someone here can help.

How does one justify being pro-life AND a good American, one who believes in freedom of religion, one of the most important ideas this country was built on? There are many Americans who are not Christian or who just don' believe that a cluster of cells warrants the same rights and respect as fully formed human. So, how does that work? Do pro-lifers believe there's room in this country for people who think like that? Or do they believe that all people SHOULD believe that life begins at conception and those who don't are immoral and damned. If this is so, then how would this be different from religious persecution?

About equating you...

Chris Arsenault — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:50:15 -0600

Laurie - what I did in response to your comment was grossly unfair to you as an individual. Whatever opinion you hold or express regarding these issues or my expressions, doesn't mean I can disrespect you as a person. I sincerely apologize and humbly ask for your forgiveness.

Jn 20:23

Email Chris...

Denise — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 08:24:27 -0600

Chris, I've sent you a couple of emails. If you did not receive them, you can contact me at denise @ blogher . com

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Three prior posts were removed! Why?

Chris Arsenault — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 07:55:48 -0600

I've been passionate, respectful, yet demanding for sure, because as you might have read (had you followed the link) that an immature response to the whole debate is to avoid both the head and heart issues when it comes to serious dialogue.

Admittedly, looking back, it appears I'm long-winded because the columns have thinned out.

A good case in pint(sic) might be your recent post in which, rather than discussing the issues, you refer to those who support choice as "selfish smug generations."

So others can make such statements, but when I do it, it's an ad hominen - right? Removing three prior posts was simply an argumentum ad Baculum - an appeal to force. If the argument is valid, and civil, then it should stand.

I stand by what I said - most abortions come about to hide marital infidelity AND sexual promiscuity (outside of marriage) where the child isn't wanted, and often neither is the man. People don't want to air their dirty laundry in public - it's too shameful, thus the overwhelming privacy thing. Can you think of any other reason why a husband shouldn't be informed that his wife is about to undergo an abortion? (Casey v. PP)

In certain cases, it's understandable why a woman wouldn't want the man, but then, if the sex is not rape in such situations, why was there consent in the first place? Incongruitous relationships shouldn't be condoned by the government through abortion. What's unreasonable about asking both men and women to be procreatively responsible?

Statistically, the hard cases in which the life of the mother may be threatened is very, very low - meaning all other abortions are elective, and occur under painful - not joyous, circumstances. That's rather obvious, I'd say. And merely wishing it weren't so, doesn't change that reality.

Clearly I'm not welcome here by those who have the power to delete my words - but merely removing them won't stop me from stating the reality all of us need to one day face.

Bye.

Obviously I disagree...

nelle2nelle — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 06:04:19 -0600

biology assigns different accountabilities to men and women. Even taking precautions isn't 100% assurance. Bottom line, what happens within one's body is the province of that person.

I've yet to meet a choicer who is thrilled by the idea of surgical abortion, but it comes down to who has the right over our own bodies?

I often see 'responsibility' tossed around on this issue, but sometimes... aborting *is* the responsible choice, and who ultimately makes that determination should be the person preggers.

Off to work!

nelle

Actually, an ad hominem attack

alyssaroyse — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 23:15:43 -0600

Is made when you change the topic of conversation from the issue at hand to discussing - deriding - the nature of the person with whom you are discussing the issue at hand.

A good case in pint might be your recent post in which, rather than discussing the issues, you refer to those who support choice as "selfish smug generations." Or suggesting that "most abortions come about to hide marital infidelity" which, in effect assumes that people who have abortions are also liars and adulterers.

Those are both ad hominem attacks that reduce the discussion to one of name calling, rather than trying to understand the core disagreements as to when life begins and what rights individuals have according to what moral code. And certainly doesn't allow for peaceful coexistence in a diverse society that is based on the rule of law, not of religion.

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com

Why I'm Pro-Life

rocksinmydryer — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 07:45:56 -0600

I wasn't always pro-life.

In the early '90's, I was a card-carrying, sign-waving, Clinton-campaigning pro-choicer. I held to the notion that a fetus couldn't fully be life, since it was dependent entirely on another for its existence. And I believed the notion that abortion is unfortunate, but it wasn't any of the government's business.

I wish I could point you to a specific point on my journey where my views shifted entirely. There was no dramatic morning where I woke up suddenly pro-life. My thoughts on the subject have meandered down many roads before winding up where they are today. I've been asked to tell you why I believe the way I do.

I will, and I invite you to come to this conversation with respect and courtesy. There's too much yelling over this issue, on both sides, making it impossible to hear each other. I understand (because I've been there) that pro-choicers stand their position firmly because they believe they're defending the fundamental value of choice.

And I understand (because I'm there now) that pro-lifers stand their position firmly because they believe they're defending the fundamental value of life.

Volumes and volumes have been written on the subject, and smarter people than I have debated it for years. Time and space will not allow for me to address every imaginable facet of this debate.

But I will address the two issues that ultimately were responsible for changing my heart on the subject of abortion: that of a embryo/fetus as life, and the issue of choice.

The embryo and fetus as life
I'm no scientiest, but I pay enough attention to know that defining life is no black-and-white matter. For many years, I made myself comfortable with the definition of life as that which could be sustained independently from another human.

It was a tidy argument, I thought, until I began to expand it outward. If only independently sustainable life really "counted" then what would we do with the Alzheimer's patient who would wander off into danger without constant supervision? Or the mentally disabled child who could not eat without being fed by someone else? Or the young mother dependent on dialysis for survival?

By my old definition, I was discrediting the "alive-ness" of people who needed help to exist. The slope was so terribly slippery that I found myself flailing as I slipped down it. If I could no longer consider dependence on another a pre-requisite for being human, then where would I draw the line? Science seemed to be making things more ambiguous, but my heart craved a more concrete answer. After reading and looking investigating and comparing, I realized I had to admit to myself there was only one un-ambiguous start of life that satisfied me:

Conception.

But there was that slippery slope again. Where did this put that important issue of a woman's right to choose?

The issue of choice
Choice is a beautiful thing. It is a fundamental part of what makes us humans. I passionately defend a woman's right to choose a career or schooling or housing or any number of life avenues. I defend her choice to decide whether to have sex, and with whom, and how often, and whether or not to use birth control.

But absolute, unhindered choice is not a guaranteed human right. Think about it: civil society already tells us that we cannot "choose" to abuse a child or "choose" to steal a car. There are legal consequences to those actions, because "choosing" to burglarize a home infringes on the basic liberties of the person who lives there.

The precedent is set. When our right to choose bumps up against the right of another to exist peacefully, our choice is blocked by civilized law.

And it is with this in mind that I realized, as I came to terms with the validity of the human-ness of a embryo and fetus, that I had to accept there was a moral point at which a "woman's right to choose" ended. Her right to decide what to do with her body bumps up against the right of that baby's right to exist.

The only place I could arrive after looking at the medical/legal/social/civil/constitutional issues was that something had to give. A woman's right to choose an abortion cannot logically co-exist with a embryo/fetus' right to be born.

Simply put, life trumps choice.

And no, to answer the question that inevitably arises when this issue is brought up, I don't think the pro-life movement is perfect (then again, is any movement?). I cannot be responsible for everything every pro-lifer does, but I can be responsible for what goes on in my own heart and head. I recognize that crisis pregnancies are very real and very serious, and pro-lifers who dismiss the anguish of such situations are unkind and naive. We, as pro-lifers, should be at the forefront of helping women in very practical ways to navigate unplanned and crisis pregnancies. Many pro-lifers, to their credit, already do this. More should.

Perhaps, if both sides of this debate stopped shouting, we could focus better on the people at the heart of the issues: babies and pregnant women. Both deserve our respect and our best efforts to help them live with dignity.

* * * * * * * *

For some other pro-life blogs and websites written by women, see the following:

Shannon is a Contributing Editor (Mommy and Family) at BlogHer, and she also blogs at Rocks In My Dryer and Bloggy Giveaways.