This is the Atlantic magazine's backlash

Bella DePaulo — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 16:10:44 -0600

So sad that a magazine like the Atlantic publishes a call to settling, complete with just about every stereotype in the book. Here's more on it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bella-depaulo/marry-him-atlantic-ma_b_8704...

Bella DePaulo
www.BellaDePaulo.com

Why Marry?

amcreynolds — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 01:29:24 -0600

Mr. Good Enough sounds like giving up.

"Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection," decries Lori Gottlieb in The Atlantic.

"It’s not only politically incorrect to get behind settling, it’s downright un-American. Our culture tells us to keep our eyes on the prize (while our mothers, who know better, tell us not to be so picky), and the theme of holding out for true love (whatever that is—look at the divorce rate) permeates our collective mentality," according to Gottlieb.

The "marry him!" mentality is not only "un-American" -- "marriage is for white people," Joy Jones writes in the Washington Post. A 70 percent un-partnered rate is a "black female marriage crisis," SheCodes blogs at "Black Women Vote!"

In their twenties and early thirties, at the same age Gottlieb suggests that women settle, Jones says "black men their age are more likely to enjoy playing the field." So, what to do? "As the woman realizes that a good marriage may not be as possible or sustainable as she would like, her focus turns to having a baby, or possibly improving her job status, perhaps by returning to school or investing more energy in her career," Jones writes.

But work won't keep you warm at night. Gottlieb seeks to unclothe the suited 40-year-old single heterosexual woman and "ask her what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child)."

Reducing marriage to a business deal may give women a reprieve from fairy tales. Gottlieb believes that marriage "is more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business."

"For the circumspect black woman, marriage may not be a business deal that offers sufficient return on investment," Jone says.

So "'why should well-salaried women marry?' asked black feminist and author Alice Dunbar-Nelson as early as 1895."

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This is the Atlantic magazine's backlash

Why Marry?