BlogHer - Forgiveness -- what does it really mean? - Comments

fritze2032, I think you

Maria Niles — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:33:39 -0500

fritze2032,

I think you meant to direct you comment to Mata who authored the post but I'm glad you found comfort in Mata's post and that you've found some measure of peace and happiness in your life.

it hurt so much..

fritze2032 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 15:36:30 -0500

Dear Maria,

I finally forgave my father and mother for their abuse on me I was given up and sent away to die when i was 2 my whole family hated me I had my arm broke and a light bulb stuck inside of me and my father stuck his penis in my butt till it went through me i was thrown in the car all blood to die and my father took me to my aunts house whare all i had was a picture of jesus and a night light to look at i was in the bed for a very long time i was also abused there by his brother i remember looking at the picture of jesus and saying ..you look like such a trusting man and loving too..i was 3 years old when god appeared at the foot of my bed and asked me how he could help me i told him i wanted all of him inside of me to protect me he asked me are you sure i said yes and he said ok honey i will come back to get you...i'm 52 now but all them lonly years i was waiting for him to come and get me it was awful while i was being abused by my mother and father i told them backed up to a wall to stop it and this is when thay took me to my aunts house..just this year i forgave my family for what thay did to me now that i'm out of all the abuse my children won't have anything to do with me and i don't know why except thay are married to abusers too...but me i have a wonderful husband now he's the greatest..... and yes i feel great except i miss my children.....thank you so much for the comments it really helps to know that thare are people that really care....hope to hear from you or anyone thank you again...

wow -- you get to walk?

Mata H — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 19:32:38 -0500

M'dear, some times I have to crawl.
Check this out

How you gonna let them skate and I have to deal with this each and every day?

They skate? nahhhh. Look again at the quality of inner life they have. Plus, they do not have you. That is a big loss. They think they skate, but life without aareness is skating on thin ice.

Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

Yes, I have But I've Snatched It Back Too

Gena Haskett — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:44:07 -0500

I'm not as grown up I I think I ought to be. Me and Spirit have a heck of a discussion going on about this. Loosely transcribed it goes something like this:

Me: You are kidding me, I have to do the work and make the effort and the other person is in total denial about what happened?

Spirit: "I love you no matter what you have to face, I'm here for you."

Me: That isn't fair, I'm tired of all this constant clean-up of the past and how it affects my future. Man, look at my list! I got issues! How you gonna let them skate and I have to deal with this each and every day?

Spirit: "No doubt, I was there. I understand. But what are you kicking about? I told you, I've got your back in all of this. I am here for you when you are ready to let this go. Do your healing work and it will get better."

Me: Yeah, ok. I'm going for a Smoothie, you want anything?

Spirit: Nope, I'm good.

Me: Ok, Later.

Like I said , I'm not as far on the path as I thought I ought to be but at least I know there is a path. Some days are better than others. Most are good days. But it is a slow walk to Nirvana.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

Someone else's inability to

Mata H — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:52:37 -0500

Someone else's inability to forgive at this very moment does not mean that you do not merit forgiveness. Just keep putting the best energy you can out into the universe, and get some help from outside if you feel you can't set down the burden. I am a great advocate of getting help when we need it -- I fiigure when my car needs a tune up I get someone who understands such things -- so why not treat myself as well as my car? Feeling unforgiven is hard -- it's no shame to ask for some help with the burden if you stay in the relationship. That's my two cents anyway (see shaman discalimer above.)