BlogHer - The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife - Comments

Suit yourself

Judith in Umbria — Sat, 17 May 2008 04:49:17 -0500

But do remember that what you wear advertises either what you think of yourself or what you want others to think of you. That's the reason I try not to dress ugly or sloppy, because when I see myself in that reflective window I want to be pleased that's how I am.

I always thought that men were attracted to women however they were dressed so I'm quite convinced that for the most part it isn't what you put on that attracts them. A man who is wearing a women, as seems to be shown in many Fogarty scenes, is depending on her for the right image, and therefore Fogarty is of her era when she promotes giving him a boost. She's not wearing diamonds to lunch for him, but so others will see he can afford to put them on her. That is not entirely gone, is it?

http://www.judithgreenwood.com/thinkonit/

not satire!

Susan Wagner — Tue, 06 May 2008 21:53:43 -0500

I really DO like this book, both for the little slice of 50s priviledged housewife life it lets us see, and because so much of Fogarty's advice is still useful today. She's like the 50s Tim Gunn, really.

To clarify, I don't think women should dress for men, nor do I think women should be angling for a husband; what I like is, as Jenny points out, the idea that looking nice can and should be a priority for a woman.

And yes, I DO think that as a culture we ARE pining for a "simpler time" -- we can see this in the fall fashions, in the success of shows like Mad Men, and in some of the angst surrounding the Presidential primaries. If anything, though, Fogarty's book illustrates what the shortcomings of that simpler time were, particularly for women.

I love it when you all start talking to each other, too. Thank you!

The Working Closet | Friday Playdate

lmao...

nelle2nelle — Tue, 06 May 2008 19:08:26 -0500

I need the laugh, what with surgery in the morning.

I suppose every book has value to someone. ;-)

nelle

nelle, I have another book to add to your library-from-hell

Vered — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:46:36 -0500

The Secrets of Winning Men

From Amazon:

This is a book for single women who wish to marry. It paints a clear
picture of The Ideal Woman, From a Man's Point of View, made up of two
parts - the angelic and the human.

The angelic side of the ideal woman
consist of four qualities, which are:

1) Understanding Men 2) Inner
Happiness 3) A Worthy Character and 4) A Domestic Goddess.

The human
side also consists of four qualities which are: 1) Femininity 2)
Radiant Happiness 3) Radiant Health and 4) Childlikeness.

Unfortunately women lose these human qualities early in life. They
become too grown up, too sober and practical. Instead of thinking of
being a wonderful wife and mother and preparing for their career in the
home, they are caught up in being a shining light in the working world.
Instead of thinking of their responsibilities they are thinking of
their rights.

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com

Um...

nelle2nelle — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:11:07 -0500

It is also a book with a very specific premise, and one that takes
itself very seriously. Fogarty is genuine in her assertions that women
dress primarily for men, and that men deserve this courtesy. "When your
husband's eyes light up as he comes in at night, you're in sad shape if
it it's only because he smells dinner cooking." My husband only wishes
that he came home to the smell of dinner cooking every night, honestly.

... we need to talk. ;-)

Wait... I love satire! It is satire... right?

OK, to be fair, many like to dress a certain way, and that is fine. Heck, this morning on the way into my work locale someone remarked 'you dress the most professionally of everyone upstairs!' (meaning where I work, a secure area, no public contact, and basically anything goes.) Here I was in a suit for the second day in a row. Then again, I'm out for the next 3 days, so I could throw on the better stuff for a short week - just felt like it.

There is no crime in paying attention to appearance, or wearing something our partner might appreciate.

Having said that... making it sound like some kind of womanly duty to please guys is enough to send me wretching in the bath - and remain there with each reminder of this book.

This will be hell for me - a world of books, and all of them this one, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, that inane one about playing dumb, another about training a guy, etc.

Yup, that will be my hell.

nelle

I love the very chic styles from the 1950s

Jenny Lauck — Tue, 06 May 2008 14:27:26 -0500

I would have made a lousy 50s house wife, for what it's worth. Still, I admire women who put style high on their list of priorities.

The Circus is in town!

Pining for the fifties? No thanks

Vered — Tue, 06 May 2008 13:51:47 -0500

This is a book that both clearly delineates an era, one we are pining for now, it seems

This ad is from 1950. I would NOT want to wear a petticoat, or change my white gloves twice a day, or carry extra "lunch shoes" in my bag, or be terribly concerned about wearing the right things, and cooking the right things, and saying the right things, and always pleasing my husband.

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com

My head just exploded

Denise — Tue, 06 May 2008 13:36:45 -0500

You knew that would happen when you wrote this, didn't you?

I'm tempted to read this book just so my head will explode some more.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife

Susan Wagner — Tue, 06 May 2008 13:31:12 -0500

This spring, when American fashion designers unveiled their Fall 2008 collections, the mood was conservative and somber. The US is on the brink of a recession, embroiled in an unpopular and seemingly unending war; the price of gas and bread and living is rising daily. The fashion industry felt all of this, not with cuts to the prices of couture pieces, but with a return to conservative, minimalist silhouettes, like the sheath dress for day and evening.

Retro is back, and with it comes the re-release of designer Anne Fogarty's Wife Dressing, which was first published in the US in 1959. Subtitled The Fine Art of Being a Well-Dressed Wife, Fogarty's style manifesto rests on the premise that a woman's grown-up life began with her marriage, and that as a married woman, she had a responsibility to dress well, every day. This is a book that both clearly delineates an era, one we are pining for now, it seems, and transcends the moment in which it was written to offer timeless style advice. This new edition, from Glitterati Incorporated, is both slick and modern and thoroughly retro. It is a beautiful book.

It is also a book with a very specific premise, and one that takes itself very seriously. Fogarty is genuine in her assertions that women dress primarily for men, and that men deserve this courtesy. "When your husband's eyes light up as he comes in at night, you're in sad shape if it it's only because he smells dinner cooking." My husband only wishes that he came home to the smell of dinner cooking every night, honestly.

But I digress.

Despite her insistence that a woman can be anything she wants as long as she is a wife first and foremost, I fell completely in love with Anne Fogarty on the very first page, for several reasons; her voice is charming and engaging, and her advice is generally practical and useful. She has a good sense of her audience, who are women with husbands and careers and money and leisure, and she speaks to them in a no-nonsense manner about the very serious business of building and caring for a wardrobe. She also takes seriously the idea that a woman might work for the sheer joy of working, and never once suggests that being a wife should put an end to a woman's career or intellectula aspirations. For 1959, this was a fairly bold position to take, and Fogarty takes it without apologies.

She is also unapologetic about her style advice, insisting that women find ways to marry practicality and comfort and beauty, and never once doubting that this can be done. At the same time, though, she is very clearly a product of her time and its fashion trends. Her more mundane suggestions, about furs and gloves and petticoats, are specific to her era and offer a fascinating look at both the styles and the social structures of the 1950s. For example, Fogarty elaborates on her love of the tote bag by explaining exactly what she carries in hers:

On an average morning, I may start out in a shirtdress with a convertible collar, medium-heel shoes for the workroom, clean white shortie gloves, and my current favorite jangle bracelet on one wrist. Come noon, I want to look fresh for a lunch date with my husband and some business associates of his -- so out of the tote comes a pair of my highest heel patent pumps, a diamond pin to wear on the convertible neckline, a fresh pair of white gloves, and a small patent bag for the few things I need at lunch. (30)

I nearly always lug a tote bag with me during the day, but never once have I put a second pair of shoes in it; instead, it is full of USB cords and superhero action figures and post-it notes with grocery lists scribbled on them. How often do any of us change our shoes for lunch these days? But there is something truly charming about that kind of attention to detail -- the clean gloves, the extra jewelery -- that is incredibly appealing, at the very same time that it is just a little silly. I would like to have a life where I pulled out some pretty shoes to go to lunch; I would like to have that kind of leisure and social obligation. Instead I eat in front of my laptop in a pair of flip flops from Target. Can you see why I love Anne Fogarty so much?

Fogarty's premise, that women dress primarily for men, is a difficult one to swallow these days, but her approach is remarkably forward-thinking. She does not advocate letting your husband choose your wardrobe; on the contrary, while she expects him to foot the bills, she fully empowers women to make their own fashion choices, and expects them to make good ones. "If you must be a slave to something, make it Scrabble or knitting or casserole cookery. Anything but fashion, where you must be the mistress of your fate." Fogarty espouses knowing the rules and then mindfully breaking them, rather than wearing what the fashion industry -- of which she was a member -- dictates. She also advises women to ruthlessly edit their closets, shop mindfully, and take excellent care of their clothes.

Apparently, good advice never goes out of style.

Wendy O at Couture in the City argues that "much of the advice is so outdated and dusty" as to be useless, but that the book is still charming in a kind of kitschy way. But Erin at A Dress A Day wrote a short, simple review that inspired her readers to remember the fashion rules of their own childhoods. And Angie Omata at My Fashion Life writes, "No one will disagree that dressing properly for certain occasions, shopping smartly, and knowing what styles work on our bodies, are
things that every woman should know."

Etiquette Grrl Style offers a comprehensive look at Fogarty's life, including photos of two of her dresses. I want that black sequined one, I truly do.

Pictured: red wool twill day dress and coat, given to the Metropolitan Museum of Art by Anne Fogarty.