BlogHer - Moving Through the Blues. - Comments

It's All a Test

VeRonda — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:01:04 -0500

That's how I like to think of it... it's all a test. Nothing deep or mystical, but just how you'll respond to a situation. Like you, this month has been ludicrous... Seriously, one thing after another. So, I've decided to just rest in hope. That's all you can do, because like you said, you can't control what happens. I like your words, Keep It Moving!

wallowing and moving

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:20:17 -0500

lilyolil - I'm so glad things are looking up!

Zandria - OMG, totally. How much do I hate that I dated someone who broke up with me THREE TIMES?! Sigh. I think I've learned the lesson this time, at least.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Move, for sure!

Zandria — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:04:30 -0500

Your strategy about staying busy and moving around physically was exactly what I did when I went through this situation a few months ago.

(After breaking up and getting back together a few times, don't you just feel a little MAD that HE was the one to break up with YOU? Don't you kinda wish it had been YOU to be the one to break it off for good?)

Arrrgghhh...sorry for the rant there. :)

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

I Can Relate

lilyolil — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:50:52 -0500

I had a tough May/June; it started when my brother got really sick and almost died, and we're on opposite coasts. The weather here in the NW was awful - gray and cold and gloomy - for weeks on end and I knew I was at the end of the line with my job.

I spent some time wallowing (only seemed fair) but now I have a new job; my brother pulled through; and the sun is shining.

On the down side, I came through it with some extra pounds that crept on while I wasn't looking. That is the next thing to tackle.

Thanks for an honest and personal post.

visualization, working out, and friends

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:32:48 -0500

Dating Trooper - I'm a big fan of visualization myself. I always envision love as sailing off a cliff. When it's bad, it's free fall, but when you catch yourself, or love catches you, then it's like a warm air that lifts you up and up and then you sail.

Mara - Thank you! It's all about getting your head clear and finding things to smile about.

Vered - Thanks! It was a rough morning/afternoon yesterday, but I was ready and waiting when the light began to shine through. Friends are *so* important - IRL & on the web.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

I'm proud of you!

Vered — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:12:22 -0500

I think you are handling it beautifully. The way you described your day - the way you enjoyed parts of it despite everything - wow. I'm proud of you. :)

When I'm feeling down, I do exactly what you did: I reach out to friends.

Vered DeLeeuw

http://momgrind.com/

Like reading my life story......

mara — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 12:42:38 -0500

This sounds so much like me!!!. Thanks for sharing your experience and just know that you are never alone. I seem to get down also when a relationship goes south but I find that working hard (as you do) and working out also helps me to clear my head. It is tuff to stay happy but in time it will be worth it. Good luck and keep us posted. Smile it will make you feel better!!!!

Mara http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/

The Rope over the Abyss

Dating Trooper — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:39:43 -0500

First of all, sorry to hear about the pile-up of disaster. That's always how it goes. It sounds like we do a lot of the same things to cope, and "keep moving" is a good one. But don't deny yourself the *short* grieving/self-pity phase. If you don't do it now, it will just get pushed down deep only to come bursting through later.

When I'm really down I picture myself hanging at the end of a long rope, dangling over an abyss. And I just see myself curled up on a ball, hanging on to that rope for dear life while it slowly swings. Once I've caught my breath (the short self-pity period) I put one hand in front of the other and start climbing. Some days faster, some days slower. Some days I get knocked back a few feet. But I just keep holding on. For some reason, that visualization helps me.

As do friends. And good for you for taking advantage of them. It took me longer than it should have to see them as a resource and be able to ask for help.

Keep on moving, girl!

Dating Trooper
http://www.datingiswarfare.com

Finding Nemo & Theme Songs

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:31:28 -0500

Love it!

Kazari - It's *so* true. Generosity and giving can really help your heart.

Catherine - Thank you so much for sharing that video. I've heard that Madonna song before, of course, but it's been an age since I really listened to it and that video is stunningly beautiful. I think there's some top-of-my-lungs singing in my future. :)

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

I have a theme song...

Catherine Morgan — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:23:50 -0500

This may sound crazy, but I have theme songs. My theme song for the heartbreaks and betrayals of my life is this...

When I was alone in my car, I would play this song and sing it (badly), at the top of my lungs, and cry my eyes out. I also wore giant sunglasses, so people in passing cars wouldn't notice I was having a melt-down. At some point, it didn't make me cry anymore. That was when I realized I was getting past my pain, and I was beginning to feel stronger, and empowered.

Take care.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan at catherine-morgan.com, The Political Voices of Women, Care2 Election Blog

just keep swimming

kazari — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:15:51 -0500

like in Finding Nemo!

i think i've said this before, but extravagant acts of generosity work well for me. send flowers to your mum. make dinner for your roommate. give change to every homeless person you see for a week (if this isn't something you'd normally do).

if all else fails, burn your diary.

Moving Through the Blues.

Liz Rizzo — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 23:49:04 -0500

June's been a rough month for me. My boyfriend broke up with me...
again, and then a few pretty horrid, unexpected things happened on top
of that. It's just one thing after another this month, and I gotta be
honest with you - Today was a day when I just felt completely beat
down. Why does bad stuff happen all at once?

Well, sometimes it does. And we've really got no choice in life but to learn how to get through it and how to have faith that things - and we - will get happy again. Somehow.

The first thing I did when my boyfriend broke up with me was decide to throw a birthday party with my roommate. I'd been not feeling it because it was unlikely that he'd be able to come, and that was just a total bummer. But with that no longer an issue, I decided it would be a positive way to pick myself up.

Or, at the very least, a fabulous excuse to get roaring drunk in the safe comfort of my own home.

By the time the party came, the rain of horrid, unexpected things had come on full force, but I managed to get through the prep and have a good time at the party. See, my secret mantra for dealing with the blues is: Just Keep Moving.

Whenever I want to curl up in a little ball, whenever I feel like I'm moving at half-mast and everything's taking twice as long, I tell myself: Just Keep Moving.

After the break-up, I *finally* started working out again. Maybe because I was feeling stung by things I felt I had little control over. Upper body strength - that I can do something about. I want my strength back. I want my knees and my shoulders to be strong again. It feels so good to move weights around. My back is practically singing with joy.

Another thing that I take heavy solace in is work. Thankfully, I have a webisode project coming up and there's preproduction work to be done. Plus I've got screenwriting and blog stuff and on and on. I've always got something to work on, and I like it that way. I love to work.

Clearly, this is a good time to really focus on some of that stuff and be uberproductive.

I've been trying to get enough sleep. To give myself permission to get enough sleep.

And finally, when it all felt like too much, and some of it was stuff I've talked to no one currently in my Los Angeles life about, I called a friend. Because it was horrible, and I needed to talk it through, and I was lost for a moment feeling like I have no one here who I'm comfortable enough with. Which started to freak me out, truth be told.

But. I do have a phone.

I called my friend on the East Coast and laid it all out. Everything that was happening and what I was dealing with and that I was really hurting and I felt so alone. You know, I wish she was here, but thank goodness for the telephone. For some stuff you really need someone who can understand where you're coming from. For some stuff you need someone from home.

Today I had a rough day. And then I got an invitation that made me smile. And I came home to a birthday present that I got at my party that made me smile. And I worked out, which made me sweat. And I watched "In Plain Sight" with my roommate and it made us laugh. And now I've blogged, and I've found a little solace.

I'm moving through.

What do you do when you have the blues?

The blogosphere speaks:

Post Race Blues... - The Reluctant Runner just finished a marathon and is feeling a little "directionless."

Breakup Blues - Secret from It's My Life gives tips for getting over a breakup. My fav - "Stay clear of guys [girls] for at least a week to be sure you're not still emotionally involved with him or her." No new guys for at least a week: Check! :)

Rainy Day Blues - Monica from One Flew Over has the rainy day blues... and adorable children.

Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.