BlogHer - Lactating Blogger Says Boob to Fred Meyer - Comments

honestly!!!!

Proud_father — Sat, 05 May 2007 04:10:26 -0500

A persons body is sacred. if you really have to breast feed in public then it shows that you really don't care about your body, and in my opinion that is sad. The mother of my child is one of theos out going people, and she agrees that if you have to do it in public that you honestly don't care about your body. You can put a binkie in his/her mouth for quite a while so that you can find a private place to breast feed. Yes a woman has the right to breast feed in public, but people are also allowed to take pictures of what they want. How would you like you breasts all over the internet? Because most likley with all the perverts out there if you breast feed in public and a picture is taken 86% of the time it will be posted on the internet. Now in my mind thats sick, but thats how some people are. Now think of that chance that your friends or when your children grow up they will want to look at pornographic images and the come accross your picture, or that picture is on a pop-up... Now thats would be imbarising, and you could do nothing to take it off of the internet. Really I don't care about other peoples bodys. but when they are in public with there boobs hanging out i just imagin how many people have taken pictures. and its not like you could do anything about it. if your feeding your child and some strange guy comes up, or around you and starts taking pictures its not like you can chase after him. You would be tied down to your child and all of the luggage that pertaines to your kid. everyone can do what they want. I won't ever try to stop a mom from breast feeding a child in public. But i will also never stop a person from taking a picture no madder what the circumstance is. If you decide that you want to take the risk of your face and breasts all over the internet thats is up to you.

Would you feel the same way

mothergoosemouse — Mon, 24 Apr 2006 11:07:35 -0500

if I were feeding my child with a bottle? No? So it's all about the boob, isn't it?

JB (and anyone else who feels the same way), be advised that women who are nursing are not exhibitionists. We are not interested in showing our breasts to anyone. We take pains to be discreet. Those around us should show discretion as well and simply go about their business.

i can top that story

Allison824 — Sat, 22 Apr 2006 18:47:45 -0500

Hi. As a nursing mom for 18 months now I have a story to top several of these. As a resident of Vegas my daughter and I were visiting the famous Fashion Show Mall on the strip when she was around 7 months old. Inside the mall they have several areas with couches and comfy chairs. At one area while we were waiting for my husband to join us for lunch, my daughter was hungry. Finding a discreet location at one such couch in front of the Macy's entrance I breastfed my hungry child. A mother with a daughter came out of Macy's and the child was quite curious about what I was doing. She looked to her Mom and said "Mommy, what is that lady doing?" I smiled as I heard her ask this to the mother. The mother did not smile back. She told her child while well within earshot range of me as she walked quickly by me that I was breastfeeding and that that was something "poor people do".
I'm sorry, we are living in 2006 correct? Nothing shocks me regarding people's attitudes regarding this situation anymore because of what I encountered that day. I just find it sad that while nursing a child in public in any other country is admired and respected, the U.S.A.'s attitudes are nothing but prudish about this topic. It shall be interesting to explain the various stories to my daughter. Not once has anyone so much as barely even seen the top of my breast, the most anyone can see is the skin, you can see more walking around any beach. I still try to justify myself to this day for nursing my daughter in public. However, the bottom line is why should I have to?
My advice to people that are bothered by nursing in public is first of all:grow up and second of all if you have to stare don't act like you are witnessing a crime!
I will be writing Fred Meyer! Best of luck to all my fellow lactating moms!

Is JB for REAL???

Izzy76 — Sat, 22 Apr 2006 11:01:42 -0500

I agree QoS. JB's post implies that using your breasts to feed an infant, THEIR INTENDED PURPOSE BTW, is on the same level as scratching your balls.

I just have to wonder - does he freak out when dogs nurse their puppies? Cats nursing kittens?

People REALLY need to get over their breasts = boner mentality already.

(And if we DID wait ten minutes to feed our babies, as JB suggests, then people like him would be complaining that we let our babies CRY TOO MUCH in public)

~IzzyMom

Jb, I couldn't disagree more

Erin Kotecki Vest — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 19:55:52 -0500

You seem to be coming from a standpoint that there is something embarassing or impolite about nursing in public. And that, in a nutshell, is the ENTIRE problem here.

What would you find embarassing about eating or drinking in public? Let's get to the heart of the matter. It's because it's my boob doing the feeding.

Until you stop thinking about my breast as sexual or dirty, you will never understand why it's not only a BIG issue to have the right to nurse whenever, and wherever I see fit-but also a larger problem than you think.

I will never understand the idea that nursing my child is like blowing my nose or readjusting my underwear. You give up that latte in public, and I'll gladly give up nursing.

These are working breasts first. It's time to change the thinking they need to be covered. It's a freaking BOOB. It's doing what it was meant to do. And it's time for mothers to make it known.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

resigned

jb — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 19:22:54 -0500

You give up your seats on the bus to old people even when you're tired. That's polite. You get up from the dinner table to blow your nose. That's polite. You wait until you're home to scratch an embarassing itch, or to readjust your underwear. It's just polite to find a secluded spot to nurse. It's not about keeping you down, or out of sight. Yes, your child has needs, but assuaging those needs doesn't have to happen immediately, wherever those needs may be first expressed. A hungry child can wait 10 minutes without any harm whatsoever.

Out of all the challenges facing women today, this one isn't worth even a post on a blog and certainly not worth an organized effort.

They should stage a nurse-in

Liz Henry — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 16:59:49 -0500

They should stage a nurse-in at that very same store... and blog the hell out of it.

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Liz Henry
lizzard@bookmaniac.net
Badgermama - personal & mommyblog
http://liz-henry.blogspot.com

Spreading the word too

mothergoosemouse — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 15:08:58 -0500

I have friends and relatives in the Portland area, including my mother-in-law, who nursed when it wasn't fashionable.

Strange days indeed.

I did a post too

Erin Kotecki Vest — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 12:14:35 -0500

This got me so crazy I posted on my personal site. Thank goodness I'm only a reporter and objective here at BlogHer.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

Right on!

Izzy76 — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 10:14:57 -0500

I just wrote a post on this topic last night. As a current lactating mom, I'm so ticked off that I couldn't POSSIBLY be objective. I wrote a letter, as did many of my readers and even one husband. Thanks for posting on this and sharing Marrit Ingman's post.

I heart Marrit Ingram

Mir Kamin — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 08:24:30 -0500

Heaven forbid someone see a glipse of a breast! (And in my experience, usually there is NOTHING to see. It's just the SUGGESTION of a breast that gets people all worked up.)

--
Mir from WCS
(BlogHer Mommy & Family contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda

At Ty's Toy Box: Listen to your Mommy!

Lactating Blogger Says Boob to Fred Meyer

Mary Tsao — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 17:35:47 -0500

Contributing Editor Mary Tsao also blogs at Mom Writes.

"On April 4th I sat down on a bench at the Gateway Fred Meyer to nurse my two-month-old son. It was about five o'clock on a busy Tuesday afternoon. The last place I wanted to be nursing was in that spot as it was noisy and distracting, but at the time, I couldn't think of better place to attend to my baby's needs."

And so begins the first post of blogger the Reluctant Lactivist, a nursing mother who was told by the store manager at her local Fred Meyer, a superstore chain in the Pacific Northwest, that several customers had complained about her public display of breastfeeding.

Even though she advised the store manager that Oregon law protects her right to breastfeed her baby in public, she still felt humiliated. And upset. She took her concerns to Fred Meyer's East Portland/SW Wash Operations Supervisor, and writes, "he supported the store manager's claim that I should have been more "discreet" and that three people had complained."

The Reluctant Activist (as she now saw herself) turned to the Internet as the perfect public forum in which to tell her story with the hope of getting Fred Meyer:

1. To make a clear company-wide policy that mothers have a right to breastfeed in their stores without being asked to move, hide, cover up, or leave.

2. To train all employees that breastfeeding is different from other behaviors that customers might complain about (such as loud music, offensive language, etc.), and that employees are never to ask a breastfeeding mother to move, hide, cover up, or leave. Instead employees can advise the complaining customer to avert their eyes or move to a different part of the store.

3. To make the public aware of this policy.

She is asking that supportive parties write to Fred Meyer and explain why the above points are important for nursing mothers as well as for Fred Meyer, a chain of stores that many lactating women (and those who support them!) shop at regularly.

Stefania Butler from Blogging Baby is helping to spread the word about the letter writing campaign, too.

As a former lactating mama, it's hard for me to write objectively about this type of treatment towards a nursing mother. I have nursed my children in more stores and restaurants than I can count and it was usually their idea, not mine. When your child is hungry, you feed her. That is the job of a mother, especially one who is the sole provider of sustenance for her child.

But I will leave you with brilliant and honest Marrit Ingram's take on this event:

"American people want their lives to be totally antiseptic. We want to float around all day long in our individual bubbles of privacy and personal comfort. The world is our living room, and we want everyone on their company manners. If you don't like mothers and babies, then by all means they should be expected to hide from you and not offend. It's their problem, not yours. What's a three-month-old doing in a store anyway? Aren't you supposed to be on house arrest? Don't you know that children annoy all the Real People who have a right to assembly? You might inconvenience someone.

These are strange times. Women are losing our reproductive rights, but we're expected to raise children entirely in private without burdening anyone."

[Photo credit: Mary Tsao]

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Mary Tsao | Mom Writes