BlogHer - Dear Body: Um, Could I Get Back To You? - Comments

10 months pp with 1st

keito — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 13:02:42 -0500

I appreciated your post, and can definitely relate to the way you feel, especially about how feeling negative about your body feels anti-feminist. I've struggled with body image for a long time, but it's become especially troubling since I had my daughter. I'm still about 15-20 lbs away from my pp weight, but I'm trying not to obsess about losing the weight but on feeling healthy, positive and active. One thing that drives me CRAZY is when people talk about how breastfeeding "melts" the pounds off. I have absolutely not found this to be the case, and have found that at least 50% of my friends have had the same experience as me. I think it's genetics, plain and simple. I'm still nursing and plan to continue into the second year, so if I hold onto these pounds until then, so be it. I struggle every day-- alternating between feeling proud of my body and what it can do, and feeling disgusted by it. Although objectively, I know my body is not disgusting and I can see it as being beautiful, it doesn't feel beautiful most of the time. A person very close to me is struggling with an eating disorder right now, though, so I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. I look at her and she is so beautiful and it reminds me that other people could see me the same way, too. I totally agree, also, about media coverage of postpartum bodies affecting the way you feel about your own. You can't go anywhere without seeing how whoever dropped 40 lbs in two weeks. We live in a diseased society. Although I felt the same way at the time, you're only 7 weeks pp! Take care of yourself. I should mention, too, that I suffered quite severely from ppd, and it wasn't really apparent until about 8 wks pp, so I'm glad it's on your radar. As difficult as it is to do, because all of these things are related, you need to focus on your mental health and say F*** OFF to all of the societal pressure to be back to "normal." Take care.

I'm 10 weeks pp my 2nd

mamastoff — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 23:51:02 -0500

I'm 10 weeks pp my 2nd child and feeling the same way. I'm actually back to my pre-preg weight (was within 2 weeks thanks to the breastfeeding), BUT NOTHING is in it's right place! Not feeling as though there is any depression in a serious form, but I'm an emotional eater so when I feel down about my weight (or shape), I just eat more. And it really IS hard trying to not compare ourselves to the celebrities who can afford personal trainers and chefs and nutritionists, etc. I have to keep telling myself that if I had all of those people helping me along I'd be skinny in a matter of a couple of weeks too! I really do want to start working out but I just can't seem to muster up the energy with a 10 week old and a 2 year old. Does anyone have any advice for when and how they work out with little children??

www.sprinkles.wordpress.com

Dedicated!

osoleomar48 — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 12:08:43 -0500

That the words cannot be able to tell..-

That the words cannot be able to tell, now tell as the image's power that's the pictures and the video's fragrances, you know. And if you would, please will u watching that , you're welcome now to me, because an artist that my way lives when her can will telling u on customizing the suit and quickly WEB's language too.
I could tell u, hours to hours, about the our BODY's intelligence, about the huge resources that his own, I should will u convincing about your will power if u doing the sincere alliance with your body , your mind and your heart, sameone, you will wishing by me another words more and more.
What u think about that?
Now , imaging u the INTERPETER, is your BODY, his ‘s very smart that his encode and decode always ,in the morning or in the night, when u sleeping or when u working, a lot of messages with as... it's all right that, but that's the ocean's of informations for him! Now , have a mind in that , please! YOU will helping him now! You will becoming an INTERPETER for him now that encode and decode a lot of messages with him.
Very simply you know! That ‘s all!

Granny "BELARDA"

Pregnancy is nuts in too

Graceful Parenting — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:54:57 -0500

The strangest body image part for me was the pregnancy itself, having my body taken over as if remote controlled to do all sorts of things I wouldn't normally do (feel hungover all the time, burp and fart like crazy, etc.).

I hope you start feeling better soon!

Carol Marie Ramsey
Finding balance and peace in parenting at Graceful Parenting

Baby momma Body

jenns1125 — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:34:20 -0500

Well, I feel for you. When I had one of my children, I forget which one now, I read that your body isn't even programmed to start losing weight until the baby is 6 months to 1 yr old. Your body keeps the weight on to breastfreed the baby. Now, this was of no use to me because my children refused to nurse. I did use it when people snarked at me for being bigger then I used to be. I would just look at them and say "Well, I gained a Kindergartner, what's your excuse?" That shut them up. I was kind of hormonal then. ; )

I still struggle with my body image but I'm more concerned now with my health. It dawned on me a few years ago that my children may have children of their own. I would love to have grandbabies to spoil and give back. I can't do that if I'm unhealthy.

I hope it gets better soon.

Jennifer http://08.the3day.org/goto/jenns1125 For Jewels

At froggemom, at mom_diane03, at Anya beth....KISSES!

osoleomar48 — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:57:10 -0500

My sweet friends u're beautyful so much. U're the lovers mom, u're still obeyng at your byological clocks..Have a minds now in that, dont fortgetted that! A lot of careless to u!

My Friends i'm sure about that!

osoleomar48 — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 03:43:11 -0500

Tank u very much if u belived in my written before, i'm sure , i tell u too!..Our body it's our best friend or our worst ennemy that depend by as. It learn and listen by as hi can proceeded together as only..Our body have a her life.It 's going on in basis of what hi saw, learn, listen and more and more...It obey u..You must lovin'it very much and hi 'll loving u too..Listen me my friends i've experience about that ...Have a nice day and everythinks to u, all the best!

Sing it sister!

Anyabeth — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:38:55 -0500

I could have written this exactly. I am struggling so much with accepting my new body and then I feel guilty about caring about this.

Anyabeth

If you can't say anything nice, come sit next to me. Tact free since 2003.

http://tantrumwarehouse.blogspot.com

Lordy, do I know how ya feel!

mom_diane03 — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 22:20:21 -0500

I have had three boys, the youngest 18 mths now - and I fell into depression after having the 2nd child. I didn't notice it though (and neither did anyone else I might add) until my third child was about 1 year old. I had gained weight, lost motivation to do things, and really didn't care about my body. When I realized that I was telling the kids to "go play" way too much, I decided that was it, it wasn't right for the kids. I wasn't being a good parent...blah blah blah - went to Dr talked to her and have since been getting on a better track!!! I am still not back where I want to be mentally, so right now my body is still not #1 on the list. I have finally succumb to seeing that my children come first yet I have to take time for myself!!! Hey - you're also a mom of an infant, that in itself is stressful enough. Don't put too much stress on the body image right now, you'll figure it out. Even just writing on here and making my own blog (http://3xysforus.blogspot.com) has helped me relate to other people!!!

Have a great day and think about the positives not about the negatives!

Boy have I been there!

froggemom — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 13:25:58 -0500

I have been struggling with my body image since, well since as long as I can remember, but it has become more acute since my son was born 2 years ago. I go through days of feeling sexy, womanly, healthy, etc. and other days where I feel like a lump on top of another lump. Lumpy and dumpy. I am only about 5-10 pounds more than I was pre-pregnancy, but some days it feels like 100 pounds. My boobs are larger and closer to the floor. And the fat has just shifted places that I haven't adjusted to yet.

I am working on being and feeling healthier. I am hoping that a healthier and probably more accurate body image will follow. But even when I was healthy and fit I found ways to demy myself the joy and pleasure of my body.

Dont Worry!

osoleomar48 — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:52:53 -0500

Dont worry ma friend! Please, love your children and love much your body now... it's very important this because her body live and love both.If you belive in that everythink, day by day in your mirror see u an happy woman that have a much appeal in your "femininity"... and magically u become the amazing woman from now on... I promise u! Bye ! Bye! Have a nice day!

Sending Out Hugs

Kathy333 — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:10:08 -0500

Ah, I feel so much for you right now. Those first few months after delivery are so taxing. Your hormones are going crazy, you want to be 'back to normal' but you aren't yet.

Hang in there! I know how crazy that time is, and at one point you will 'break through the light' again.

As for body image, don't be so hard on yourself. You just went through such a huge thing-pregnancy, delivery, post delivery. It will take some time, but you will get there! I remember after having my second that I just wanted to get out of bed and run a mile. Of course, the stitches from the c section really got in my way lol. My doctor thought I was nuts (a male!) but I was just itching to 'feel better'. It came in time. It will for you too. And if things are real bad, talk to your doctor-that's what they are there for.

Hugs!

Dear Body: Um, Could I Get Back To You?

Her Bad Mother — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:59:14 -0500

I've been struggling with a secret, which is this: I'm really, really not in love with my body right now. I have, been keeping it secret for two reasons: 1) it's totally new to me - I've never really struggled with my body image, even after my last pregnancy, which added padding where no padding had hitherto existed, and so it just feels foreign and weird and (obviously) bad, and 2) it also feels so, I don't know, anti-feminist or anti-woman or anti-me (which, really, collapses into a kind of counter-womanism, to be anti-yourself as a woman) and I just so don't want to be that. But then I remembered that I'd read something, somewhere (cannot for the life of me remember where exactly and Google gets me nowhere; it might have been in Brain, Child magazine? anyone know?) that there's a link between poor body image and post-partum depression. Which, yikes. I've been fending off the PPD this time around (I'm seven weeks post-partum) with every tool at my disposal, but had, it seems, overlooked the issue of my current struggle with body-image.

After all, struggling with body image is, like, totally the norm for new moms, no? Doesn't every new mom balk a little at the muffin top, the extra junk in the trunk? And if it's normal, isn't it, if not healthy, at least somewhat in accordance with stable health? Well, no, of course not. But I just hadn't thought about that - until I noticed that I was watching my diet, and not in the healthiest way. While recovering from a traumatic labor and delivery. And breastfeeding. And struggling with PPD. Um, not good.

Back in April, our own Kat Stone highlighted, at her blog, an excerpt from a brief post on PPD and body image at NurturePDX:

A negative postpartum body image can
contribute to low self-esteem and postpartum depression, as well as a
host of other negative emotional and societal effects. It can also
cause a mother to diet which could potentially be detrimental to her
infant if she is breastfeeding as well as contribute to postpartum
depression symptoms from lack of nutrients and calories.

(Text bolded by me, because, oh hell.)

I cannot count the number of times I have heard mothers of young
children say, "I have felt so unattractive since I had my baby." We
need to reclaim the "mama body" and celebrate it as an image of
strength, warmth, and beauty.

I did celebrate my body like that, after my first pregnancy. I revelled in feeling and looking ripe, earth-goddess, maternal. But for some reason, after I gave birth the second time, recently, I just lost that body-positive buzz. I just felt - feel - dumpy and lumpy and not myself. It's possible that the constant onslaught, this time around, of media commentary on pregnant and post-partum celebrities - who, of course, lose the baby weight in about three days - has something to do with it. Maybe it's the heat of summer. Probably the combination of whacked-out hormones and post-traumatic stress have contributed. Whatever. I need to shake it off, for the sake of my mental and emotional health. I need to spend a day just clicking through The Shape of a Mother, and then another day reading all the Letters to My Body (like this one - " Body, when things are not going well for me emotionally you still keep going, when I hurt you still go on....") that I can find.

And maybe write my own. Because a healthy mind, a healthy psyche, and healthy spirit require not only a healthy body, but a healthy body image. This new mom needs all those things.