BlogHer - How to Be a Good House Guest - Comments

Visitors

gringainteguz — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:05:01 -0500

I have visitors in Honduras, and when I am in New Orleans, friends like to come there as well. I am happy for the guests, but I, too, have a few suggestions.

1. Do ask for something if you need it. Like a blanket or something.

2. Don't adjust the thermostat without asking. Energy bills are high in both places. Just ask!

3. Do take regular baths and/or showers. Just because it's a third-world country, that doesnt' mean we want to smell you coming or going.

4. Help yourself to any food in the house, but offer to pick up a grocery bill or take me out to eat. (note: I love to eat out)

5. Do speak with care about neighbors, others. Again, even in third world countries, people UNDERSTAND English, and they don't like to be talked about negatively when in your presence.

Just a few thoughts.

Laurie, a gringa in Honduas

I have a list here that I

kimba — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:40:18 -0500

I have a list here that I republished on my blog. It's more for the American going to Europe - for example, in my experience it seems that presents and/or flowers are almost expected by a host in Europe. But I like it when people who come to my house know how to be a guest.

When I'm a guest I don't expect my host to be a tourguide and I arrange my own transportation. I'm usually out and gone for most of the day by myself, wandering around and shooting photographs. I only join in on my host's doings if they invite me along. This might be the effect of having long term friends in far away places who understand my wanderlust ...

Kimberly Kradel
Producer/Editor
artist-at-large.com

Privacy. Independence.

jamiepea — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:31:12 -0500

I lived within easy striking distance of London for two years, and--big surprise--had dozens and dozens of houseguests (I've personally been to Stonehenge FIVE times).

My favorite houseguests made themselves scarce for a couple hours every day so that I could recharge, work, or obsessively check email (I'm an introvert too Pam!). They weren't always off the premises. Sometimes they were just upstairs napping or thumbing through a guidebook.

I also like guests that show a little pluck by organizing their own airport transportation or picking up a train schedule.

Jamie Pearson
http://www.travelsavvymom.com

so important!

kazari — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 17:56:51 -0500

we live on the wrong side of the country, apparently, so we get a lot of house guests.
three things make a huge difference:
- please let us know how long you are going to stay.
- know that we won't be around to entertain you during work hours (probably), and it kinda weirds me out if you just sit in front of the teev all day.
- anything you cook for me will totally make my day : )

I think I have a recipe for that...

Excellent Advice!

Pam — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:51:19 -0500

This is really a perfect list, Mata, thanks for taking the time to post it.

I had a guest once who crashed through my tiny studio as though it was a hotel. Man, that pissed me off. But I also had a guy who had a reputation of being a bit of a loud mouth partier, but he was an old friend, and he turned out to be a true delight, a real gentleman, a terrific guest, I'd have him any day. When he left, I said, "It's not true what they say about you!" with the best humor.

The trick is having guests who make themselves at home in an indpendent sort of way while being respectful of your space/lifestyle. What's mine REALLY is yours, just put it back where you found it, in the state you found it in. You don't have to replace the butter you ate, but don't drink the good scotch unless I put it on the table. :)

Oh, also nice? Ask this: What can I bring you from where I am? Coz local stuff is a great treat. Our recent guests brought us a big shipment of an Austrian favorite kitchen fixing, we're delighted.

Nerd's Eye View

Guest faves

Mata H — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:44:47 -0500

As I live alone, I do not share the responsibility for having/cleaning for/cooking for/entertaining/paying for company with anyone else. Here are the rules at my house:

1. I love it when you offer to help. I will not always say Yes, but I will love the gesture.

2. Please do not make me feel like your maid. (There was a houseguest who would absentmindedly hand me her plate when I was clearing the table, and that was the extent of her "help".)

3. Please make yourself at home -- just make your own bed.

4. Special food needs? Plase let me know before I shop and buy expensive foodstuffs to please you that you won't/can't eat.

5. Make one special gesture. Take me out to eat, or buy wine for at home dinners or bring a nice present. It helps me feel that you understand the effort and expense involved.

6. Leave it like you found it. I don't mind the odd bit left around, but I shouldn't like feeling that I am picking up after you.

7. Gas is expensive. If I take a big driving trip on to show you the area, a trip I probably would not take otherwise, it is nice for you to chip in on gas.

8. Feel free to get your own glass of water/juice/whatever..and feel free to make your own coffee/tea. Need a snack? Speak up. Need extra towels? I'll tell you where to find them. It's an informal house, which means no one gets waited on for interim details very much after the first day :-)

9. I'll buy groceries. No problem. I'll even cook. I'll provide a happy, clean, welcoming home and will do all I can to make sure you see and enjoy this part of the world. Feel free to stay more than 3 days if you agree to the above. I'll be happiest if I can tell you want to be such a pleasure as company that I'll invite you again and again.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

House Guests and Sherry

Norma156 — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:15:50 -0500

My father used to tell the story of a not-so-beloved family member who would arrive at relative's homes when there was a family wedding. She'd plop herself in a comfortable chair, ignore the busy wedding preparations, ask for a bottle of sherry and announce that when "I travel, I like to relax."

Loved your post.

How to Be a Good House Guest

Pam — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:35:05 -0500

In a rare spin of circumstances, we find ourselves staying put more than usual. Don't be using that word "staycation" on us, we're not dash-cationing of any kind. I'm working, my guy is doing odd jobs, and we are living the freelance equivalent of making hay while the sun shines. When work is plentiful, I stay put and squirrel away my dollars for the day when the market is less kind or it is impossible to stall the wanderlust for another day. In the meantime, our home has been transformed into an international crossroads for those not staying put.

We dropped the Austrians off at the train station this morning and are now doing laundry and prepping for the next batch - a Canadian German mix - they arrive this afternoon. I'm hoping to have enough time to squeeze in a nap to recharge - having guests is oh so lovely, but this introvert gets tired. Luckily, we have a short break before the Chinese and American contingent arrive next week.

For the record, you could totally bring me a little something if you're coming to visit and I'll be oh so grateful, but also for the record, that is absolutely not required, the pleasure of your company, honest and for true, is enough. If you are a good house guest, it matters not if you buy us dinner or leave us prezzies. If you are a bad house guest, no lovely bottle of wine or flowers for the kitchen will make up for the inconvenience of your stay, either.

Taking the Kids suggest you make sure you bring essential snacky things and try to get everyone out of the house if you can.

Teach Kids How also has a post - divided by age group - on helping your kids be good guests.

Apartment Therapy has a swell post full of good comments - including gathering up your bedding - a good one that makes the host feel less like a hotel maid.

Travel the Home Exchange Way compares good guests and bad guests, yikes.

Boots n All has a great thread on the boards about couch surfing dos and don'ts.

At our place, it comes down to some pretty simple things. Clean up after yourself, keep it down, and, um, yeah, that's about it. If you wanted to pitch in with the food, well, that's great because we tend to keep a fairly minimal supply of stuff on hand. If you've got dietary constraints or special needs, you should show up with that stuff or ask us where you can get it nearby because, hey, we're not a spa retreat. We love it if you take us out to dinner, but honestly, we're just as happy to go Dutch because it's likely we're going to have you take us to one of our favorite places. If you happen to run to the bakery in the morning, wow, we're going to love you a lot, but seriously, there's going to be coffee and toast at the ready because that's what we normally have. Oh, don't hog the shower, okay, there's only one. There's that.

We're psyched you're coming, we really want to see you. We're going to visit with you a lot at breakfast, ignore you midday (unless we have some field trips planned), expect you to look after yourself mostly, and then, around 5:30pm, start wondering if you'd like to join us for dinner, and if so, what that should look like. We're going to treat you more like favorite roommates than royal guests. But that's how we are and you already know that, probably.

What do you expect from your houseguests? And hey, for the record, you can stay for more than three days, as long as you're a good guest.

Cute pic of friends having breakfast from Irish Typepad on Flickr.

Pam blogs about travel and other adventures at Nerd's Eye View. Join the conversation about travelblogging in the Travelblogger's Forum.